Beneth These Scars
by lollitagirl
Summary: When young Anastasia Steele realizes her parents spend her University money she is livid. They had one job... to save the money her grandfather left for her to attend Harvard University. With too many dreams to give up on, she decides there is only one way to save enough money and that is to make a man fall crazy, deeply in love with her and use him to pay for it.
1. Summary

**_Benethe these scars Sumarry:_**

When young Anastasia Steele realizes her parents spend her University money she is livid. They had one job... to save the money her grandfather left for her to attend Harvard University. With too many dreams to give up on, she decides there is only one way to save enough money and that is to make a man fall crazy, deeply in love with her and use him to pay for it.

Tycoon Christian Grey is known as the "mysterious CEO of Grey's publishing" After a dramatic accident he is left with deep mental and physical scars which make it hard for him to open up to anyone. Yet, too many years of being alone bring out a craving for the right woman to give him one night where he isn't tormented by the past. When his best friend tells him about a secret website where he can stay anonymous and have fun he can't let it past by. Christian decides to go ahead with it only to his surprise the website isn't all what it seems.


	2. Chapter One: Cryptic message

**CHAPTER ONE:**

 _Are you awake? I'm coming over._

Reading the text message, I slammed my room door and hoped my parents would hear it. The spring rain and thunder were noisy and heavy, but nowhere near as scary as the resentment I felt for my parents.

Taking a long deep breath, I fought the urge to cry; I had been doing that a lot lately and couldn't bare to spend another night with red painful eyes. With that in mind I walked towards my brown cherry wood desk and with shaky hands reached for the single light-cream color envelope that was neatly placed in the middle of the desk and sighted. The crimson Harvard University color letters were boldly placed at the right-side corner of the top of the envelope. My heart sank as I reread the name of the school. My dream school.

Clenching my teeth, I checked my phone for the time, it had been fifteen minutes since Paisley had messaged me. Anastasia sighted irritated as I gazed out the window and saw no sign of my closest friend.

The mailman had delivered my acceptance letter to Harvard University this morning and I needed to vent. My options were very limited thanks to my awful parents. They had informed me that they no longer had the money for me to attend University. The money my papa had left for my education in his will.

Taking a mouthful of air, I attempted to calm down, but it was easier said than done. My visions of the future were disappearing by the minute- all I could see was the crimson color letters that I once dreamed of wearing on a sweater and anger overwhelmed me.

I'm thankful when I hear noises coming from outside, I immediately dropped the envelope down on the desk when I sees Paisley's Volkswagen Jetta pulling into the driveway. I rushed to open the door before Paisley even has the chance to knock on it.

Paisley jumps a little when she sees me, "Anastasia, you almost gave me a heart attack. Are you alright?" She looks at me strangely.

I nod my head as I lead the way to my room. "Paisley, do you remember the night we went to your friend Veronicas house party?"

Paisley smiles, "Yes, do you want to get that drunk again?"

I roll my eyes, "No... remember how she was telling us about a secret website she found her sugar daddy?" I say hoping she will remember.

"Wait... No, you are not doing that."

"I have already decided." I muttered feeling like a devilish woman and knowing very well I might just go to hell for what I'm is about to do. Yet, I could care less about it. "I'm going to do it... the website."

"Anastasia are you sure about this?" Paisley summons the question I had been asking myself for the last hour. Paisley's light-colored red hair is drawn back into a messy bun, and her eyes are a glimmering color of emerald, which are sparkling with judgment now.

"Tell me more about it please." I ask Paisley needing this to be easier than it sounds.

"I already told you." She answers, "It is a website where people can stay anonymous and meet people with money. Veronica has been doing it for a while." She adds as she sits down along the carpet in my room.

I walk back and forth contemplating if I do in fact know what I'm about to do. However, I don't have a choice, my parents made sure of that. They took my long-time dreams and smashed them into million pieces.

"I hope I have the same luck." I admit needing this more than ever. I feel crazy for saying that, for hoping a man will be interested on me enough to pay for school.

"Anastasia are you really sure about this?" Paisley asks again.

"There is no other way." I blurted, although I'm not sure if that is completely true. Perhaps I could get a proper job and re-apply next year? Still, that would put me back a year in my studies. I can't have that happen.

Overwhelmed I remained quiet gazing around the very lavender color walls of my room. The lavender pain, I once loved is now an indication of my rebellious years, and the Harvard University posters are a reminder of what it might never happen now- thanks to my parents. Fuming I attempt to work through the pros and cons of the decision I'm about to make.

"I still can't believe they spend my money." I shoved my books down on the floor and angry sat back down on my bed. I scooped my laptop and turned it on.

"I can't either. That was a crappy thing of them to do. Do you know what they even spend it on?" Paisley inquired.

"At this point it doesn't even matter, I will forever be resentful." I truthfully ranted and took a deep gasp of air and turned back to the laptop. "What did you say the website is called?"

"Cryptic messages." She tells me, and I quickly typed it on the web search. It soon brought me to the sign-up form. "Wait...You should use a fake name." Paisley adds.

"That's a great idea Paisley... I never thought about it." I roll my eyes; did she really think I would use my real name? "What's a good sexy name? Vicky? Jenny? Alexia? How about Scarlett."

"Hey, don't get sassy with me, I'm only trying to help." Paisley yells at me.

"I'm sorry you are right." I apologize and finished filling the form and pressed enter. Anxious I wait until it brings me to a profile, which soon I realize it is mine. I quickly set out to fix it, wanting it to look more mysterious. "What should I write on the about me?" I asked Paisley.

"Beats me. I'm horrible at that stuff." She shrugs.

I stick my tongue out at her and set out to write the first thing that comes to mind. "I tie my own shoes and brush my own hair most days." I piercingly say it as I write it down.

"Are you seriously going to use that?" Paisley expresses her opinion as she rolls her eyes. "What are you ten?"

However, I disregard her. "During the day, I can be found sitting in a brown desk, feverishly tapping my phone with hopes of getting a new high score on Candy Crush. I like to pass my evenings watching re-runs of Grey's anatomy while sipping on a cup of delicious apple cider. I play a mean game of poker and love the smell of coffee in the morning."

"I'll be surprised if anyone even messages you. "Paisley laughs and I stick my tongue out yet again.

"You should message me if you are smart, sexy, sophisticated and spontaneous. Bonus points if you like the Gothic rock scene."

"I don't think anyone is going to reach out with that." Paisley chuckles and I throw a pillow at her. She needs to quit with the damn negativity.

"We will see about that, man love women with a good sense of humor. Come take a picture of me. I need a sexy picture." I grab the cell phone and hand it to Paisley. "Take a really good one."

Fixing my skirt and pulling down my shirt a bit just to show a bit more cleavage I smiled. When Paisley has taken a few, I take the phone back and smirk as I upload it to the computer and into the profile. "I hope this works." I turn the laptop around and shows Paisley the final project.

"If you say so." she rolls her eyes and I takes a deep breath; this must work. I have no other option now.


	3. Chapter Two:The cure

**CHAPTER TWO:**

Monday morning, I wake up stress. It has been two long days─ that's how long it has been since I made the stupid Cryptic messages profile. At the time it made complete sense to me─ find an older man and make him fall in love; then ask him to pay for the education I deserve. The education my parents took away from me the moment they spend the money my grandfather had left for me in his will. They took away the one chance I have to better myself and get out of Chicago.

I thought my plan would work. That it would be easy to find a lonely man who would want to talk to me. I even took a sexy picture to go with my awesome profile. Perhaps I underestimated the situation? Taking a deep breath, I put my things into my locker and head towards my English class. I'm too disappointed and miserable to even be here, but then again being anywhere is better than being home right now. I can't even look at my parents without having murderous feelings.

As I arrive at the classroom my eyes catch Paisley my best friend sitting in her usual spot. She is wearing a pretty pink dress with white wedges. Her purple hair is up into a ponytail and her makeup is done to perfection─ which is no surprise, she has always been one to look amazing. I stare at her for a minute, she is so different from me. I have always wonder why we are even friends; she is a girly girl and I in the other hand wear black most days and enjoy the dark side of life. I guess you can say we are complete opposite.

"Anastasia," She beams as she sees me walking through the doorway. I head to the spot next to her and sit down.

"Where is Mr. Rodriguez?" I ask her. He is never one to be late. I'm usually the one who is late. Yet, today I am not. That makes me a bit happy.

"He is running late." She shrugs her shoulders, "So... what happened with the whole 'Cryptic messages' profile'" She looks at me waiting for an answer.

"It flopped." I place my face on my hands embarrassed. I should have listened to her and not have made the profile to begin with. But then I never thought it was going to be a complete waste of my time.

"It's fine. I'm sure you will figure out another way to get the money." She gently touches my arm and reassures me. That's one thing Paisley is good at, comforting people.

I half smile at her, "I really hope so. I don't want to miss out on Harvard." I openly tell her. The University of Harvard has been my dream since I was a little girl. My grandfather had known this and had saved every penny he could for a long time, just to make my dreams come true. It kills me that I won't be able to do so. That I will never be able to be the person he pictured. I attempt to calm myself before I cry.

"I should probably just delete the profile." I tell her as I pull my cell phone out of my purse. I quickly open the Cryptic messages app and begin to look for the delete profile button. As I search around I notice a number 1 in red in the message box. Did someone really reach out to me?

As fast as my fingers will let me, I press the button and the message opens. I look at Paisley and back at the screen. She moves her chair closer to me and we are soon reading the message.

 **Ace:** Dear Scarlett, I love your sense of humor. I too know how to tie my own shoes and enjoy the smell of coffee in the morning. You sound young or maybe you are just young at heart? Still, you sound like a very interesting, fun young woman. I was wondering if you would you like to chat? I understand if you don't. I bet you have a lot of guys after you.

Until we talk again. Ace.

I quickly head to his profile, but I'm surprised when I don't find a picture of him. I Instead find a picture of a grey question mark in a white background. I wonder why he doesn't have a picture of himself? Maybe he is too ugly and doesn't want anyone to see him? I roll my eyes annoyed and head to his about me. Yet, that is empty too. Who doesn't have a picture or an about me? My hopes of this working out once again disappear.

He must just be a weird boy trying to get me to talk to him or he would take the time to put a picture up. I move my finger to the delete button and press it. When it asks me if I am sure I decide to not delete it just yet and press cancel.

"Good morning everyone sorry I'm late." Professor Rodriguez walks into the class and I quickly shut my phone not wanting it taken away. "Let's pick up where we left yesterday."

I take out my book and get my head back into my studies after all I still want to attend Harvard.

* * *

Walking into the cafeteria I can't help but continue to think about the message. I can't believe that only one person has reached out to me. I can't help but feel like I'm ugly. Perhaps I should just give up and move on from this dream? I reach in for a chocolate chip cookie and decide to also get cheese fries. I am way too depressed not to eat junky. I pay for my food and head towards the tables.

"Anastasia... Anastasia." Paisley shouts trying to get my attention. She looks excited and I smile. Why is she always in a good mood?

"Hey." I place my food tray on the table and sit down.

"Come on spill the beans." She giggles excited.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You know what!" She looks at me with her big green eyes.

I raise my eyebrow and look at her like she is crazy.

"Did you answer the message?" She's finally making sense.

"No. I don't think I'm going to. What if he is a serial killer, who preys on girls through the Internet?"

"Or maybe he just wants to remain private." Paisley says, and I think about it. "What if he doesn't want anyone he knows knowing he is looking through a website like that." She adds. "That could be embarrassing for some people."

Thinking about it maybe Paisley is right. I shouldn't assume things until I know more. With that I decide I do in fact want to know more about him. I grab my cell phone and look at the message again. I begin to write a message back but delete it ten times before I come up with something I like.

 **Scarlett:** I'm glad you enjoy my humor and the lovely smell of coffee. Why don't you have any pictures?

I sent it. What's the harm, right? If he acts weird I block him and never speak of this website ever again. On the other hand, I really hope he's not a creeper. Biting my lip, I hope for the best outcome.

* * *

I gaze at the brown and white house before me with outrage. I wish I didn't have to ever come back to it. My grandfather would be devastated if he knew where the hard-earned money he had saved for me ended. I close my hands into a fist and fight the urge to punch something.

As I finally decide to walk towards my house. My parents' cars are in the driveway and I know that means they are home. I haven't talked to them since the big quarrel we had about the money they spend. I can still recall the words they said. How they didn't think I would want to go to University and that they didn't think I would really get in.

I don't have the foggiest idea about what's most exceedingly awful, that they thought I wouldn't get in, or that I wouldn't have any desire to do anything with my life. I shake the irritation and go to the back door─ Sneaking in, I go to my room thankful that I don't need to address them. Tossing my bag along the floor, I tumble down on my bed and grab my cell phone from my pocket. I rapidly look through it. I wonder if Ace answer my message already?

I smile when I see that he has and quickly open it.

 **Ace:** I like my privacy. In my field of work that is very important.

I wonder where he works? He must be important if something like joining a website for dating is a big deal.

 **Scarlett:** Is that also why you don't have an about me? Are you afraid someone you know will recognize you?

I finally ask him the question I have been wondering about. I genuinely want to know what he looks like.

 **Ace:** Isn't me being Mysterious exciting?... You are a very curious woman.

I smile. I do like the mystery behind him. I question what he is really like? I draw my hair up into a ponytail and think of something else to ask him. If he won't show me a picture, then I will need details to imagine him.

 **Scarlett:** How about you answer a few questions?

As I sent that a knock at the door suddenly startles me. I put my phone down, "Go away."

"Anastasia, we need to talk." My mother shouts at me. "You can't continue to hide in here."

"Yes, I can." I yell back at her.

"Fine. Stay in there! You will come out when you are hungry." She says and storms off.

"No... I... Won't." I grab my pillow and scream into it. If only I had money I would move out and never talk to them again. Wanting to get my mind off my problems I reach for my phone and read my new message from Ace.

 **Ace:** How about 5 questions?

I decide to grab my laptop. I have a few questions to ask and it's easier than trying to type them on my crappy phone. Quickly turning it on, I open the website and begin to think about what I want to ask him. I write and rewrite questions until I am happy with what I have.

 **Scarlett:** 1\. What color are your eyes?

2\. Long or short hair? Color?

3\. Tall or short?

4\. Is your name Ace?

5\. What's your deepest secret?

I bite my lip and sit waiting impatiently for the answers to my questions. I know we just started talking and I don't know anything about him, but I feel excited every time he answers me, and I crave to know more about him as the minute's pass by. I smile excited when his message comes in.

 **Ace:** 1\. My eyes are a light shade of green.

2\. Copper brown, Short hair.

3\. Some people would say I'm tall.

4\. Is yours really Scarlett?

5\. If I told you, I would have to kill you;-)

I laugh. Did he lie about his name too? I begin to write him back only to stop when I receive another message from him.

 **Ace:** I'm about to head into a meeting. Can we talk later Scarlett? (if that's even your name)

Until later. Ace.

A meeting? does that mean he is a business man? I close my laptop and smile like crazy. I wonder what his real name is? I also want to know if he is good looking? I close my eyes and picture a man with light green eyes and copper brown, short hair. Is he too good to be true? Will this man be able to help me achieve my biggest dream of attending Harvard or am I getting myself into a situation I shouldn't? Grabbing the package from beside my lap-top, I look at the acceptance letter and the due date and know I don't have another choice. Yet, I pray that I won't go to hell for what I'm about to do to this man.


	4. Chapter Three: all about Ace

**CHAPTER THREE:**

Turning off the lights, I grab the remote, my comfy blanket, my bowl of popcorn and press play to the movie. I'm home alone and have decided to watch when a stranger calls. Although, every minute that passes I regret this decision more. Why did I think watching a horror movie alone was a good idea?

I pull the blanket high up to my face in a way to keep me safe. My heart begins to beat fast when the main girl on the movie hides from the killer under the stairs and I pray he doesn't find her. I'm sitting on the edge of the couch when my phone rings making me scream with fear. Of course, my phone would ring at the same time the killer attacks the girl.

I attempt to calm my fast beating heart and put my bowl of popcorn down beside me on the couch and grab my phone. Perhaps it is Paisley or maybe Ace? I rush and unlock my phone and I smile like a crazy person when I see Ace's message.

Ace: Can you talk right now?

I think about it. Maybe I should play hard to get and make him wait a bit before I answer? I put my phone down and stare at it. Who am I kidding, I can't play hard to get I need the money.

Scarlett: Of course, how's your night going?

Ace: It's better now.

Aww he is a sweetheart. Stay focus Anastasia, you can't fall for this guy.

Scarlett: Sweet talker;)

Ace: I'm not. I just say the truth.

I smile. I like his honesty.

Ace: Can I ask you something?

Scarlett: It depends... what is that you want to ask me?

Ace: Why are you really in this website for?

Scarlett: That question has a few answers.

I'm beginning to worry, what if he knows about my plan? Perhaps he can tell that I'm here for money.

Ace: How about you tell me the main one?

Scarlett: Would you believe me if I tell you I'm lonely?

That is half true, at least I'm not lying about everything. I don't have many friends.

Ace: I doubt a pretty girl like you is ever lonely.

I'm blushing now.

Scarlett: I don't have many friends.

Ace: I don't think that is true either.

Scarlett: Well it is, I have only one good friend. Her name is Paisley and I have known her since kindergarten.

Ace: One good loyal friend is better then one-hundred fake ones.

Scarlett: I guess you are right. How about you? Why are you in this website?

I don't blink once as I wait for his answer.

Ace: Would you believe me if I told you that I'm lonely too?

Scarlett: Is that the main reason you are here?

Ace: Yes.

I feel worst now. I can't do this to someone who already feels low.

Scarlett: I'm assuming you don't have a girlfriend or a wife?

Ace: You assume correctly. I'm not one to cheat, I wouldn't be here if I did.

Scarlett: That is good to know. I hate cheaters.

Ace: I hate cheaters too and liars.

Scarlett: I guess we have a lot in common then.

Ace: Tell me more about yourself.

Scarlett: What would you like to know?

Ace: What do you like to do for fun?

Scarlett: I love to paint.

Perhaps I shouldn't be telling him things about me that are real after all this is all about money.

Ace: Oh?

Scarlett: I love to look out of my window at night and look at the stars, even though they can barely be seen in the city. I get a lot of my inspiration that way. I paint the first thing that comes into my mind. How about you, any hobbies?

Ace: I love to star watch too! I have a special place where I do so.

Scarlett: Maybe one day I could watch them with you?

Ace: I don't know.

Scarlett: I can be good company.

Ace: I don't doubt it. I'm the one who is not great company.

Scarlett: How about you let me be the judge of that?

Ace: Perhaps.

Great, we are making progress. I need him to agree to meet me eventually.

Scarlett: So how come you don't have a girlfriend?

Ace: I don't do dating...

Scarlett: You don't? How many girlfriends have you had in the past?

Ace: Zero.

Scarlett: You are kidding, right?

Ace: No.

Scarlett: Oh. Can I ask why?

Ace: I rather not talk about it.

Scarlett: Come on, I won't judge you.

Ace: The last girl I liked betrayed me.

I think for a minute what I should say, but I come out blank.

Scarlett: Oh?

Ace: I don't want to talk about it.

Scarlett: How about we talk about something else?

Ace: Yes.

Scarlett: Do you have any pets?

Ace: One dog, his name is Rookie.

Scarlett: Interesting choice of name, I would love to hear the story behind it.

Ace: There isn't a story. I found him going through my garbage one night and when I let him in my home he was wearing a nametag which had Rookie written on. I tried to get him back to his home, but I was never able to find who he belongs too.

Scarlett: Well it was sweet of you to give him a home.

Ace: Do you have any pets?

Scarlett: No, I don't have any. But I hope some day I will.

I add wanting him to think highly of me. If he likes animals I will too.

The front door opens, and I see my parents walk in. It is time for me to make my way to my room. The last thing I want to do is be near them right now, after all it is their fault I must do this now.

* * *

The next morning, I rush down the stairs, I'm running late for school and can't wait to be out of this house.

"Anastasia," My mother stops me as I attempt to make my way out the door. "Can you please come to the living-room, we need to speak to you." I look at her. She is wearing a red expensive dress that I have never seen on her before. I am sure she bought it with my money.

She flips her chocolate brown hair and her electric blue angry eyes challenge me to walk out the door; which I begin to do.

"ANASTASIA!" She calls bringing me to a halt.

"I'm going to miss the school bus." I bluntly answer her. I'm not letting them get away with what they did to me, without making them feel bad about it. They have changed my future and they will forever be responsible for where my life goes from now on.

She gazes at me more and places a hand on her waist, "I'm not asking you... Living-room now Anastasia." She points her finger and I roll my eyes.

I walk to the living- room and see my father sitting in the big brown couch. The one they bought last month.

I stare at him. He looks tired, I would even go as far to say that he looks worried. He is wearing a simple pair of black jeans and a button up shirt which is not usual for him. His velvet black hair is a mess and his eyes finally meet mine.

"It's nice to finally see your face Anastasia." He says, and his voice irritates me so much.

"I can't say the same." I spit out.

"ANASTASIA!" My mother yells at me. "Do not speak to your father that way."

"Can we get this 'talk' going before I'm late to school." I tell them irritated.

"You need to stop being so angry." My father tells me. "You need to get over it." He adds.

"Get over it? ...GET OVER IT?" I scream, "You took my one chance of getting out of this crappy house and crappy town."

"Anastasia we-" My mom comes near me, but I back away. "Please we are sorry."

"Can I at least know where my money went?" I ask.

"Will that make you feel better?" They look at me.

"No... You had no right to spend my money and ruin my life."

"Your mother and I have been talking and we think we can come up with half the money for next year. You can re-apply and get a job this summer and save." He tells me cheerful.

"I don't want to wait until next year." I shout.

"I'm sorry Anastasia, but there is no way we can put you through it this year." My mother tells me, and I have had enough. I head out the living-room and out the house.

I scream as loud as my lunges will allow me. This is not how my senior year was supposed to be like. It was supposed to be exciting and fun. Now I can't enjoy it because I don't even know if I will be going anywhere after high school like my friends. Wanting to be as far from this house I walk fast. If I miss the bus I will have to walk all the way to school.

 **A/N: Hello, please comment:)**


	5. Chapter Four: Red lipstick

**CHAPTER FOUR:**

Slamming the door, I rush out the house and run towards the bus stop only to see it drive by. Infuriated I scream, can my parents stop ruining everything for me? I guess I'm going to have to walk to school now. Can the day start any worst?

I plug in my earplugs to my phone and put them on my ears. I need the music to calm me down and help me get through this awful walk. Yet, as I begin to walk down the road a car honk at me. I look back annoyed but soon the annoyance changes to a smile as I see Paisley's car. I smile and without a doubt get in. "It's like you can read my mind." I laugh. "I'm so glad you are here."

"I went to the bus stop, but I didn't see you." She tells me.

"My parents wanted to talk to me..." I shrug my shoulders in a way to tell her I don't want to talk about what happened.

"Forget about them... How about you tell me what happened with mystery man?" Paisley asks.

"Nothing yet, but I can't deny he sounds very interesting." I admit.

"Have you seen a picture yet?"

I shake my head. I do find it weird that he doesn't have any up on his profile and that he is being very deceptive about it. "I have a feeling he is hiding something."

"What do you think he could be hiding?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I will find out. Secrets never stay hidden." I laugh. "You think I should message him right now?"

"Yes, has he talked about meeting yet?" She asks.

"No, but if he thinks we are going to be friends who sometimes message each other when bored he is wrong." I wickedly say.

I quickly grab my phone and open the app, but to my bad luck he isn't online. We were up late last night talking, Perhaps, he has moved on to the next girl? I quickly decide to send him a message.

Scarlett: Good morning Ace, I hope you slept well. How about a little chat this morning?

I take a deep breath and sent it. I hope he hasn't gotten bored of me. I put my phone away and hope he will answer me soon. I thought that after everything we talked about last night, that we were clicking. I need this to work, I only have a month before the money is due and I can't let my spot go to anyone else. I have worked too hard to let it slide out of my hands.

Desperate I reach into my purse and pull out my red lipstick. Pulling the mirror down, I apply a good amount of the lipstick and shake my hair a little. My brown wavy hair falls in a sexy messy wave. My soft washed out green like a green leaf that has just fallen from a tree eyes pop with the redness of the color and Paisley looks at me.

"What are you doing?" She asks curious.

"Reassuring Ace doesn't forget me." I smile pulling my shirt a little down to show more cleavage. When I feel sexy enough I reach for my cell phone and take a few selfies. I pout my lips in a few and when I'm happy with one, I send it.

Scarlett: I hope this picture brightens your day!

P.s. I think its time we really get to know each other ;-) perhaps over coffee?

Paisley and I, giggle. I'm done with the little conversations. It's time Ace and I meet.

* * *

My phone buzzes in the middle of class- Careful I pull it out and place it beside my books. I quickly press the notification and smile when I see Ace's message.

Ace: You shouldn't be sending pictures like that to people you don't know. Trust me when I tell you that you don't want to meet me. I'm too dark. You don't want that kind of darkness surrounding you.

What does he mean his darkness? I panic. I can tell he is hiding something, but now I am thinking it is bigger then I thought. I look at Paisley and I know she can tell something is wrong. Perhaps this is too much. I need to delete this account before things get out of hand. Sadly, I feel like that is too late now. I can't back out.

I take a moment as I reread Ace's message. I guess I'm not the only one who is hiding stuff. I decide to take a few minutes before I answer his message. When I have thought about it, I begin to write back.

Scarlett: Darkness intrigues me. I'm not so innocent myself. Can I tell you a secret? my name is not Scarlett─ it is Anastasia.

I get a respond almost immediately.

Ace: I like Anastasia better than Scarlett. Tell me something Anastasia, why did you feel like lying about your name?

Scarlett: Because I hate my name and I wanted to sound more mysterious.

At least I'm being truthful for once─ I have always hated my name.

Ace: I'm glad you felt like you could tell me your real name. I love it. But you already broke one of the two things I don't like and that's lying.

I smile when I read his response, until I read the last part.

Scarlett: It was an innocent lie. I don't want strange people knowing my name.

Ace: I can understand. Perhaps us talking is a bad idea.

Scarlett: Why are you so afraid?

I wait for him to answer the question I have been wondering for days.

Ace: Because I'm not what you are imagining. I'm a monster.

 **A/N: Please comment! I can't wait for you all to read the next chapter. I love writing this story.**


	6. Chapter Five: Me before you

**CHAPTER FIVE:**

I reread Aces message and wonder what he really means when he says he is a monster? I take a deep breath and begin to type back.

Scarlett: Monsters don't scare me.

I send it hoping he will see that no matter what he says I will not be pushed away.

Ace: They should scare you.

I begin to worry, what if he is crazy and I should take the warning seriously.

Scarlett: How about you tell me why you think you are a monster?

I hope that he will open up to me and explain why he thinks he is a monster.

Ace: A monster never reveals why they are a monster. You'll have to take my word.

I'm starting to get irritated. I like mystery, but this is more then that.

Scarlett: I think monsters don't call themselves that and they definitely don't want other people knowing their darkness. Therefore, I think you aren't a monster, and everyone has a little bit of darkness in them.

I press send and I wait patiently for his answer.

Ace: You seem very wised Anastasia.

Scarlett: I can be wised when its needed.

I smile feeling like this can really work for me.

Ace: Tell me more about yourself?

Scarlett: Well there isn't much to me. I'm very simple to be honest.

Ace: That can't be true.

Scarlett: I guess you can say I'm a junkie for adventure.

Ace: I used to be like that.

I wonder why he isn't anymore?

Scarlett: You used to? What happened?

Ace: I don't really get out anymore.

I begin to write a response when I hear my door opening and I put my phone down. My father is standing by the door frame and he looks mad. "Are you not going to come down for dinner?"

"I'm not hungry." I firmly tell him hoping he will leave me alone.

"Fine." He shuts the door behind him and I'm thankful when he is gone.

Scarlett: Maybe we can travel together?

I hope I don't sound too forward.

Ace: if you could pick up a bag and leave right now where would you go?

He asks, and I need to take a minute to really think about it. However, it doesn't take me long.

Scarlett: Paris. I just read this amazing book called Gothika which takes place in Paris. I would love to go around the city in the middle of the winter and see all the spots the writer talked about in the book.

Ace: Paris is beautiful in the winter. I have heard about the book.

I close my eyes and picture it. I would love to be there now instead of here with my parents.

Scarlett: Really? How about we meet up for coffee and talk about it?

Ace: I don't think so Anastasia.

I roll my eyes annoyed. Will he ever want to meet me or is this all he wants; someone to talk to?

Scarlett: Are you afraid you won't like me?

Ace: I'm afraid you won't like me.

Scarlett: I'm not changing my mind and I'm sure I will like you.

Ace: Fine, Friday. Four season's hotel. Eight o'clock, don't be late. Message me when you're in the lobby.

I panic. A hotel? Perhaps I'm getting myself in a situation I shouldn't. Do I really need to attend Harvard this year? Maybe I could save and get a job. I could reapply next year? Screaming, I throw my phone on my bed and really think about this. What if he is expecting me to sleep with him? Fuck. I can't back out now.

Scarlett: Great, see you Friday Ace.

I send the message and rethink my decision. What if he murders me? All I know is what he has told me and that's not very much. I haven't even seen a picture of him. If I go missing who will they even go looking for? No one will know who I even went to met. I fight the fear and begin to get myself prepared for Friday.

 **A/N: Please comment and vote if you can. Thank you.**


	7. Chapter Six: No good

**CHAPTER SIX:**

The rain begins to come down hard as I arrive outside the four seasons hotel and placed my hand on the black wet marble wall to steady myself as I walk up the stairs.

A fancy black lacy dress adorns my body and four-inch heels are neatly placed on my feet. The click-clack noise they make sends a smile to my face. I feel beautiful for the first time ever. I usually don't dress up─ I'm more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Yet, today I'm wearing one of Paisley's dresses and I feel different. Beautiful. Attractive.

Taking one step at the time, I enter the hotel bar and slow music welcomes me. A golden chandelier hangs from the ceiling and fancy black tables are placed around the room. I decide to sit at the bar wanting to look more mysterious for Ace. I wish he had sent me a picture, so I would know who I am expecting. What if he is an old man? Or even a serial killer? I swallow hard at the thought. Maybe I need a drink before I text him.

I'm thankful when the bartender quickly approaches me, I guess he notices my discomfort too. "One Grapefruit martini." I tell him before he can say anything and that makes him smirk at me. I'm glad he didn't ask me for ID or I would not be getting my courage drink. As he disappears to make my drink, I retrieve my cell phone and begin to write Ace a message.

 ** _Me:_** I'm here... how will I know who you are?

My phone buzzes as the bartender places a neat grapefruit martini in front of me. I decide to take a sip before seeing the new message I have received.

 ** _Ace:_** Come up. Room 341.

What no, I can't go up. I need him to meet me in a public place like this bar.

 **Me** : I would rather you come down and meet me at the bar.

I send it hoping he will agree because I can't see myself building enough courage to come up to his room. I drink all my drink and place a 10-dollar bill on the counter. My legs are shaking. What if this is a trap and he's not who I think he is. I haven't even seen a picture of him.

 **Ace** : I can't. You need to come up.

 **Me** : I don't know you and I'm afraid.

I tell him the truth and I'm not going to change my mind.

 **Ace** : I'm not going to hurt you. You need to trust me.

Fearful, I grab my purse and head for the revolving doors. I'm leaving. I can't do this... this is a big mistake. I pick up my speed and soon I'm outside. I take a deep breath and welcome the refreshing breeze, I can't believe I almost met up with a random man. I shake my head and begin to walk only to come to a stop when my phone buzzes.

 ** _Ace:_** don't leave please trust me.

How did he know I was leaving? I look around panicking, maybe he is watching me? And how can he ask me to come up to his room and to trust him? He is a complete stranger. I fight with myself to make up my mind. Until I get an idea.

 ** _Me:_** Paisley I'm going up to his hotel room. If you don't hear from me in 10 minutes call the police. Ace's room number is 341.

Slowly turning around, I make my way back into the hotel and to the elevators. I walk back and forth and wait until it arrives. My phone buzzes and I look at it.

 ** _Paisley:_** Be careful Anastasia.

 ** _Me:_** I will be careful, don't worry about me.

I quickly answer her and put it away as the elevator's doors open. As I get in it, I press the 3rd floor. I'm anxious. Scared. What if he is crazy or dangerous? There must be something behind the 'not wanting to put a picture on his profile'. And the 'I'm a monster' remark. I take a deep breath as the elevator begins to move. I watch as the numbers go up and soon I'm at my destination.

Scared out of my mind, I step out of the elevator and into the long corridor, the walls are a beige color and a dark brown carpet is placed on the floor. I take a look around, hoping I won't pass the number I'm looking for. When I finally see it, I fight my body to move towards it. Yet, my feet are glued to the floor.

"341." I repeat to myself and soon I am in front of the white door. "It will be okay Anastasia... Just relax." I murmur to myself. I finally go ahead and reach into the door to knock, yet the door is semi open. My heart is beating fast, too fast for my liking. I take one last deep breath and walk in. My heart begins to beat fast again as I notice how dark the room is. I gaze around trying to find a light switch, but I don't.

I'm glad when I finally see the closed blinds. I slowly walk towards the window wanting to open the blinds to let in some light. But before I can do that a raspy voice stops me.

"Please don't open them."

I turn around and I slightly see a man. I'm frighten. Is it Ace? The room is too dark to really see him.

"Ace?" I ask.

He begins to walk towards me but stops as he can tell I'm scared. "I'm not going to hurt you Anastasia." He continues to walk and soon he is standing right beside me. "Don't be scared."

 ** _A/N: comment and follow please._**


	8. Chapter Seven: Alright, Okay, You Win

**CHAPTER SEVEN:**

I stand still frighten. I want to run out of here, but I can't see anything and I'm afraid to move. I fight the urge to cry and take a deep breath, "Can I turn the light on?" I whisper as the smell of his cologne or body wash hits me. I swallow hard at how nervous I am. What the hell did I get myself into? Damn it, I'm crazy for being here.

"I would rather you didn't." He tells me and finally moves back a few feet away from me, giving me some breathing space.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask him worried that I'm over my head with this situation. Which it doesn't feel right and I'm really freaking out. I need to be nice so that he doesn't kill me.

"How about we get to know each other first?" Ace asks. But I'm already planning my escape. The first chance I get I'm running out of here and never looking back.

"You want to get to know each other in the dark?" I place my hand out and touch the small table near me. I'm glad as I begin to look for something to defend myself in case this goes wrong.

"We can get a few candles." He whispers. Is this what he meant when he said he is a monster?

"I don't understand." I tell him. Why does he want to keep the lights off? I can't help but be scared. What if he is a serial killer? I feel like I have seen a story like this on 48 hours mystery. I'm going to be the chick who gets stuffed into a freezer and never gets found.

"It would make me feel better. I don't like to be around people." He admits to me and I feel bad for him. But I soon remember that serial killers hate being around people. Damn it Anastasia what did you get yourself into?

I quickly grab my purse, I'm leaving. I reach into the beg to grab my phone in case this turns ugly. However, as I grab it, I feel the papers I received from Harvard university. I stop when I remember that I have to pay the money soon. I put my purse down again and take a long deep breath. "Can we order some coffee?"

He laughs, "We can order whatever you want."

I smile anxious. "Maybe some cake too?" at least if I'm about to die I want to die happy.

"Of course," He tells me, "What kind of cake would you like?"

"Something with lots of chocolate." I nervously giggle, and I feel a bit more relax. I don't think a serial killer would ask about cake.

"So, you are a chocolate lover?" He asks curious.

"I could eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner." I laugh feeling less worried.

"That sounds interesting. Tell me more about yourself."

"Sure, but can we sit down?" I regret saying that the moment it leaves my mouth. I need to stay standing in case I need to run.

"Yes, hold on a second." He tells me and walks away. I stand still wondering where he is, then I hear his voice. "Hi, yes I need two coffees and two slices of chocolate cake... Also, I need a few candles... No, my light didn't go out. Does it matter what I need it for? Great thanks." He hangs up and walks towards me.

"How can you get around so good?" I ask curious. I can barely see, and he is moving back and forth with such easiness.

"It takes practice." He admits. "Here, I will help you." He comes near me and takes my hand. My heart beats fast as I get a hint of his wonderful smell again. I follow him, and we come to a stop in the middle of the room. "Wait let me get something."

I stand wondering where he has gone now. Perhaps, I should be getting out here right now... Yet, he is back in a minute.

"Here," He places something on the floor and then takes my hand again, helping me to the floor. When I touch the floor, I realize he has placed pillows on the floor. I smile at how sweet he is, even though this whole talking in the dark situation is kind of weird.

A knock at the door scares me. I wonder if he will get up and open it, but he doesn't move.

"Come in and leave the food on the table." He yells, and the door opens.

I wonder if I will be able to catch a glimpse of him when the light of the door comes through the door, but I don't. I can't deny I'm disappointed. I really want to know what he looks like.

The door closes, and Ace stands up. "would you like cream and sugar?"

"Yes please."

Ace hands me my coffee and sits back down. He takes a deep breath as if getting ready for something difficult. "Alright let the questions begin."

I take a minute to think of what I really want to ask him. "Is your name really Ace?"

"Does it matter?" He answers my question with a question.

"Yes, I want to know the real you."

"No, you don't." He answers immediately.

I take a deep breath; this man likes to argue. "So, are you going to answer my question?"

"Christian... my name is Christian."

"Nice name." I tell him, but I secretly like Ace better. "Was that so hard?"

"What?" He asks confused.

"Was it hard to just answer the question." I say.

He laughs. He has a cute laugh.

"So, what do you do for a living?" I inquire.

"I read books." He answers immediately.

"You read books?" I ask confused.

"Well I work at a publishing company." He says, "What about you? I assume you're in school?"

I take a sip of my coffee and begin to answer "Yes, I'm actually about to..." before I answer him, I get interrupted by the door opening.

"Christian, where are you?" A male voice comes from the doorway. "Why is it so dark in here."

"NO DON'T." Christian screams, but it is too late." The man turns the light on and I drop my coffee cup to the floor in shock of what is in front of me.

A/N: OMG lol what do you think is going to happen? Please comment thanks.


	9. Chapter Eight: First Date

**CHAPTER EIGHT:**

"Get the hell out!" Christian shouts at the man who is at the door. I gaze around wondering what the hell is going on? until realization overwhelms me the moment I see Christian's scars. The first dark pink scar trails from the tip of his chin to the top of his lip and then a separate one is placed on his cheek which goes all the way up to his eyebrow.

His eyes are a soft washed out gray, like a favorite sweater that's been washed too many times. I stare back as he gazes at me with the need to know what is running through my mind. I stay still looking at him, taking every single detail of his face in. I can see I'm making him feel uncomfortable and soon all I want to do is head out the door. I imagine myself running out of the room and getting far away from this hotel room.

"I knew you would freak out." He says it with a low voice as I look down to my hands. He looks disappointed.

My eyes move back up to his face, his hair is short and wavy with a soft brown, like the bark of an oak tree, not dark but simply gentle in any light. He is a very handsome man, aside from the scars.

"I want you to know that I'm not going to hurt you and you can leave at any time you want." He tries to reassure me and I'm thankful for that.

"I'm not... is this why you wanted to keep the lights off?" I wait for him to answer. I finally understand his hesitation about turning the light on. Perhaps if I had scars I would do the same thing. It must be really hard to let people in.

"Yes." He tells me truthful. I can see this is not a subject he likes to talk about.

"I just don't understand." I take a deep breath and think about everything that just happened. Why couldn't he just be honest with me?

"You can leave if you want to." He tells me again, making me feel more relaxed.

I can't really leave now... I need to show him that I don't care about his scars. I need the money badly. I didn't come this far to walk away with nothing.

"Can we finish our coffee?" I ask even though mine is all over the floor now.

He nods his head and picks up the cup.

"Actually, do you have anything stronger?" I inquire.

"Scotch?" He asks.

"Yes, that will do just fine." I shyly smile. I watch him as he walks towards the mini fridge. He grabs cups and puts ice on them. Then he grabs two little bottles of what I assume is scotch and pours the brown liquid into the cups. I can't help but stare at him as he walks back. I want to understand what happened to him? I want to know why he is so afraid to be seen? After all the scars aren't too bad. He is very handsome.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask him nervous.

"Sure." He tells me and hands me my cup. I take a long sip for courage.

"Why do you hide in the dark?"

He takes a sip of his own drink and looks at me. I feel a little nervous as he takes a good look at me. "Maybe one day I will tell you." He whispers and finishes his remaining drink. "This was a mistake."

"A mistake?" I ask confused.

"You are so young... I'm too damaged." He tells me, and I can see the pain in his eyes. "You should leave now."

"But-"

"Leave now Anastasia." He screams not giving me a chance to talk again.

I grab my purse and look at him one more time before I head out the door with my heart beating like crazy.

* * *

I walk into the frozen yogurt place and immediately see Paisley. She is sitting at the back and smiles at me when I arrive at the table.

"Frozen yogurt or details first?" She asks.

I had texted her to meet me here after leaving the four seasons hotel. I needed to tell her what had happened with Christian.

"Lots of frozen yogurt first." I exhale.

I get up and walk towards the counter grabbing a cup.

"Was it really that bad?" Paisley asks joining me on my path to lots of ice cream and candy.

"Remember when I fell in front of everyone at winter formal?"

She nods her head remembering the awful night. "That was the worst."

"It was worst then that night." I truthfully admit as I pour vanilla frozen yogurt on my cup and then add strawberries, chocolate and gummy bears. "We had a date in the dark." I tell Paisley as I add chocolate sauce. "His name is not Ace... is Christian."

"He lied about his name too? I'm going to need more details. I don't think I have ever had a date in the dark." She laughs.

"Yeah you laugh, that's not even the worst part." I roll my eyes.

"What can be worst then that? Is he creepy? Well he must be if he didn't want to have the lights on." She takes a spoon full of her ice cream.

"We were having coffee on the floor... with candles and comfy blankets, and all I could think was maybe he's shy and this way makes it easier to get through the first meeting for him... Oh god Paisley I wasn't expecting what happened next."

"Stop with the suspense, tell me." Paisley yells at me.

"Someone walked into the room and turned the light on thinking something was wrong with Christian... When he turned them on, I got a good view of Christian."

"And? Is he ugly?" She snickers.

"No. He's a very handsome man... aside from the scars he has in his face."

"Scars?" She asks.

"Yes, you heard me right scars... They are very noticeable and seems like he is very self-conscious about them." I admit.

"Oh wow. Then what happened after? Did he tell you how he got them?" She asks me.

"No, that's the thing. He kicked me out, he says I'm too young and he is too damaged to be around me. He asked me to leave."

"That's crappy." She whispers.

"Yes, it is. I want to know what his deal is. He is a handsome man with a good job and for the hotel he was staying in, I would say with money. I don't understand why he would need to make a profile on a page like cryptic messages and I really want to know what happened with that scars because it seems like it's a big deal."

"Well then you only have one option." Paisley tells me. "Find a way to get him to open up to you and let you in on his dark secrets."

"You are totally right." I nod my head and take a spoonful of frozen yogurt and debate what my next move should be.


	10. Chapter Nine: Second Meeting

**CHAPTER NINE:**

Pushing my covers off me I wake up in the middle of the night annoyed at how everything turned out yesterday. I haven't heard from Christian since I left the hotel and I'm starting to accept the fact I probably will never hear from him again.

Which I'm not sure if is a good thing or a bad one. I know I need the money, but he might be right about him being too damaged for me. I can't stop wondering what happened to him? The curiosity in me wants to get to the bottom of it, but the logical side tells me to stay far away. He is older then me and it could become a problem.

However, the other side of me wants to know why he feels like he must hide. Why he feels like no one would like him if he came out of the dark. I don't think the scars are the only reason why he feels that way.

Taking a long deep breath, I attempt to accept that I'm not going to Harvard and that it must not be meant to happen. I close my eyes and fight myself to get back to sleep. I need to rest if I'm going to be up early tomorrow. Putting my problems out of my mind for now, I grab my pillow and hug it and I let sleep take over me and hope for the best.

I wake up just before 7:30 in the morning and decide a hot shower will help me wash off the bad mood I have woken up in. I have three weeks to figure out if I will be attending Harvard University or not. That isn't very much time to come up with all the money I need. But, I'm not giving up just yet.

As I walk into the bathroom I turn the hot water on and when is just right I step in. I let the heat of the water take over the stress. I close my eyes and relax for as long as I can. When I'm done, I get out and quickly dress in a black pair of skinny jeans and black t-shirt. I have decided to dress with the colors of my mood.

Dark.

After pulling my hair into a ponytail, I apply make-up and when I'm ready I grab my shoes and bag. I rush down the stairs and to the kitchen hoping to avoid my parents, but I'm not that lucky. I walk into the kitchen and see my mother pouring coffee into two cups. She looks at me surprised. I pretend she isn't there and grab a banana from the kitchen counter and begin to walk away.

"Anastasia are you seriously not going to say good morning." She says, and I know we are about to fight.

"It's not a good morning." I murmur.

"Young lady this has gone for far too long. You need to stop punishing us and talk to us."

"Are you serious?" I laugh and that makes her irritated. Still, she is one to get irritated with very little help.

"Yes, I'm serious... Your birthday is coming up and we would like to do something with you." She comes near me and smiles.

I laugh harder, "you're going to take me out and pay with my money?" She looks shocked at what just came out of my mouth. "You have ruined my life so no I don't want to spend my birthday with you." I shout and with that storm out of the room.

"Anastasia... get back here-"

I hear my mother scream after me, but I keep walking not looking back once.

Paisley is waiting for me in her car the moment I step out of my house.

"So, have you heard from him yet?" She asks as soon as I step into the car.

I roll my eyes with annoyance, "I don't think I will and I'm not sure I even want him to reach out." I truthfully tell her, "He is strange... perhaps too strange even for me."

"Yeah... maybe he is, but you still need the money."

I take a deep breath and know she is right. "I must have the worst luck. My parents spend all my money and I get contacted by some weird guy."

"Maybe the universe is telling you not to go to Harvard." Paisley tells me, and I am beginning to believe that.

"Perhaps you are right. I should just find a job at McDonald's and call myself lucky." I sarcastically say.

"Don't be so dramatic Anastasia. There are cheaper universities you could attend." She tells me, and I know that's not an option. There is only one University I want to go to and if I can't attend Harvard then I don't want to go to school at all and I don't care if that makes me sound bratty.

"I don't want to give up on my dreams." I angrily yell.

"Then reach out to Christian and make him give you the money. You know his issues, used them to your advantage."

I think about it. Perhaps she is right. I could reach out to him and see what went wrong on our date. "That's actually a good idea."

I reach for my phone and open the app. "What do you think I should say?"

"I don't know." She tells me and thinks about it. "How about, I hate the way we left things and I know you said you're too complicated for me, but I would love to see you again."

I write what Paisley just said and send it. "I hope it works."

"I hope it does too, you need this." She tells me, and I stare at my phone waiting for him to answer me.

I take a deep breath as I look out the window, "We should go out tonight, I need the distraction."

Paisley smiles, "I know just the place."

 **A/N: Please if you have a moment please comment!**


	11. Chapter Ten: Enough is Enough

**CHAPTER TEN:**

Fixing my black lacy dress, I follow Paisley up the stairs which lead to Henry's house. My heels are too high for comfort and I'm totally regretting picking them now. However, Paisley has guaranteed me that they look amazing on me and that we will have a good night... Only if I stop complaining. I hate her bubbly, sassy personality sometimes, but I guess she might be right.

"Ready?" She asks, and I nod my head. Even Though I don't think I will ever be ready for this night- the night I get to tell my crush how I feel.

I take a deep breath and try to tough out the fear of rejection. Paisley knocks the door and Henry soon opens it. My heart beats fast. My hands get sweaty−embarrassingly sweaty. I hold on to Paisley from fear of me tumbling down the stairs from the anxiousness.

I stare at him for a minute. His black like the night hair is pulled back into a man bun and he is wearing a cute button up light blue shirt with little stars on it. He has a red cup on his hand and I notice he is staring at me with his cute caramel hazel eyes. My heart begins to beat fast and all I want to do is throw my arms around him.

"Are you guys coming in?" He laughs. We both nod our heads and we follow him inside.

"There are people at the back-playing beer pong and downstairs there is dancing going on." He tells us as he sips on his drink. "Have fun you two." He winks at us and begins to walk away, only to come to a stop and turn around, "Anastasia...save a song for me, will you?"

I nod my head and feel my cheeks go completely red with shyness. I'm usually cooler than this. But Henry does something to me that I can't explain.

"OMG did he really say that?" I fan my face to try and get rid of the redness and heat.

Paisley nods her head giggling, "come on let's get a drink." Paisley grabs my hand and drags me to the kitchen. I can't believe how good she can walk in her shoes. They are higher than mine and she doesn't even look tired. Her red dress is extremely short, and I can't deny I feel jealous about how pretty she is.

"Make mine extra strong." I tell her and laugh.

"Sounds good!" She grabs two red cups and pours vodka and coke in them. She hands me one and we walk out of the kitchen. I'm glad when we find a spot to sit outside and enjoy the loud music and people having a good time. I'm ready to let loose and forget about everything that has happened in my life.

* * *

When I come back out of the house from getting another drink I don't see Paisley anywhere. I was only gone a minute or two. I keep looking around until I finally see her. She is standing way too close to a guy. I walk towards her and pull her by the arm. She turns angry, ready to fight whoever is touching her until she sees it's me.

"Where were you? I have been looking for you." she smiles, like suddenly she doesn't care where I have been. I go to say something else but, I stop.

"Care to dance?" a quiver shot through me at the sound of that deep, masculine voice. Henry stood before me, looking like prince charming. His big hand extended towards me, his expression hopeful.

"Um..." I paused, not sure how to answer. To refuse him would be rude, and I like him. But to accept- to take his hand and have him lead me to the dance floor, pull me into his arms and hold me so close? Could I handle that without throwing myself at him and begging for him to kiss me? That would be playing with fire. And I have been always been very careful when it came to the emotional stuff. As in I didn't let my emotions come into play whatsoever. A sharp elbow stabbed me in the ribs, and I jumped a little.

"Answer him," Paisley whispered out of the side of her mouth.

"Don't leave me hanging, Anastasia." His deep voice was laced with humor, but there was something in his eyes. A hint of disbelief at my potential refusal, mixed with a generous dose of invitation.

"I-yes, I would, um." I stumbled over my words, feeling like an absolute fool, and Paisley jabbed me in the ribs yet again. With my luck, I'd end up with a massive bruise from my so-called friend's abusive encouragement.

Pressing my lips together, I set my hand in Henry's, and his fingers tightened around mine. A tingly feeling shot up my arm at his assured touch, sending electric pulse throughout my body, I tried to ignore it. Really, I did.

But my body responded at the feeling of him being so near me. Just breathing him in is making me dizzy. Being in his arms? Thank goodness he had a firm grip on me or I would melt into the floor.

"You are very beautiful." As he says this his hand moves lower down my back... too low for comfort.

"Um, thank you." His compliment surprised me, and I wonder if he was being nice. Feeling suddenly shy, I thought it best if I kept my gaze trained on his chest.

"Are you Okay?" He asks as his hand is almost at my ass. The question sounded more like a reassurance that his hands are allowed there.

I gently reach down for his hands and slightly moved them up. I smile trying not to upset him, "Yes I'm fine. I really like this song."

"Would you like another drink?" he asks.

I nod, and he disappeared into the crowd, leaving me standing awkwardly by Paisley.

Paisley jumps up and down then reached and grabbed me by the arm and giggle. "Omg my favorite song, come one we must dance!"

I smile at her and let myself enjoy the night.

* * *

I have been sitting down for what seems forever. I'm ready to leave, but to my bad luck Paisley is having a great time. Standing up I head to the bathroom. I whisper to Paisley telling her where I am going, and she nods her head, not paying attention to me. She has her eyes in a cute blonde guy. I roll my eyes and head inside. I look around and finally find the stairs to the second floor where I am assuming the bathroom is.

I jump excited when I see it and quickly step in needing to take care of business. I have been drinking way too much and I am feeling so dizzy. When I'm done, I wash my hands and make my way out the bathroom until I come to a halt.

"Henry-" I smile.

His eyes wander up and down my body, making me feel very uncomfortable. I wonder if there is something wrong with my outfit? I wouldn't usually wear something like this, however, I felt bold and ready for change.

"What?" I yell so he can hear me.

He smirks and takes my hand. "Come with me." We walk through the hallway and I take a good look at my surroundings.

Henry leads me into a bedroom, I take in the well decorated room. A king bed near the windows and I'm surprised to see the walls painted black, his curtains and bedspread are red making the room very intense. I take a good look at the painting above his bed. I don't know if I should be shocked, the picture is of a pair of naked women.

"Henry why are we here?" I say, trying not to sound nervous.

He moves closer to me; he bites his lip and smiles at me. He keeps moving until our faces are inches away.

My eyes wide, "Are you about to kiss me?"

The shock made me look almost comical. "If I did, what would you do?" He says not taking his eyes off me.

My mouth opened twice before I whispered, "I don't know."

"Would you slap me?"

That had me frowning again "No,"

He took another step towards me "Would you push me away?"

My cheeks flushed with warm color, I shook my head. "Of course not."

"Great" He moved closer still. He took my purse and set it on the bed.

"What would you do if I did more then kissed you?"

I stared up at him, my eyes shining, my lips parted. "I'm not like that." I said in a breathless gasp, he smiles at me and takes a sip of his drink.

"Like what?" He asks curious.

"You know... sluty." I tell him. He looks confused at my response. "Is this your room?" I ask finally trying to change the conversation

He shakes his head and takes a seat on the bed. "yes."

I wander around the room, the view from here is incredible; I feel my cheeks turn red at the thought of Henry wanting to kiss me. I wonder why he asked me what I would do? Why didn't he kiss me? My phone buzzes and I quickly check it. It must be from Paisley. Yet, to my surprise it is from the last person I expected.

Christian.

"I better go, Paisley must be looking for me," he stands up and walks with me, yet we stop just before the door. Staring at me he moves a string of hair behind my ear.

"Don't go." he says whispering. His lip brush against mine and I can smell the alcohol in his breath. "Let's have a good time."

I look confused, wanting to know what he meant by that. However, I don't ask him, I walk towards the door. Yet, he comes behind me and grabs me. He kisses my neck and I begin to freak out.

"This is not a good idea Henry."

"Why not?" He demands. "I know you like me, and I like you. Plus, you got all dressed up with that sexy black dress."

I get his hands off me and yet again try to walk away.

"Anastasia, wait! Don't you want to spend the night with me?"

"Drop it Henry." I hiss.

But before I can open the door his foot kicks it close and he corners me. "Come on Anastasia, I have waited way too long. I think I deserve a little taste." He grabs my arm and pulls me close to him. His lips crash into mine. My hand immediately comes up pushing him back.

"I said no, Henry." I quickly move away from him. "Not like this."

"Come on don't be a bitch, I spent a lot of money to throw this party." He grabs my waist and pulls me close to him again. "Stop pretending like you don't want this." With that he lifts me up. Where did the nice guy I had a crush on go? Who is this man in front of me?

"No... Please don't." I cry hitting him as he lays me in the bed and spreads my legs.

"Don't worry baby I will be good to you." His hand moves up my leg and I panic. "You will like it I promise." He kisses me, and I grow desperate. I kick and scream, but no one can hear me. He kisses me again and I bite his lip.

"Get off me," I scream as I see him touch his bleeding lip. I take advantage of how distracted he is and push him. Only to send him down to the ground as he wasn't expecting that. I quickly take advantage that he is down and kick him in the balls. "I told you to get the fuck off me." I kick him again much harder this time and rush out the door needing to be far away from here.


	12. Chapter Eleven: In the name of love

**CHAPTER ELEVEN:**

Running down the stairs I head to the backyard where everyone is. I need to find Paisley and get out of here. I'm shaking, scared to the point I no longer feel drunk. I can't believe what Henry just did. I wish this was just a dream and I could wake up from it.

I attempt to calm down, but the fact that I can't see Paisley isn't helping. I go after my phone with the expectation that on the off chance that I call Paisley, she will answer, and we will be able to get out of here. Yet, my eyes catch Christian 's message before I can dial Paisley.

Without thinking it twice I press the call button. It rings twice and a raspy voice answer.

"Anastasia?" He sounds confused at my sudden phone call.

I try to calm myself and keep down the tears, but the task seems impossible.

"Is everything alright?" He asks now alarmed.

I rapidly hang up the phone knowing I shouldn't have called him. After all the last time we had spoken he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Plus, I haven't even checked his text message and for all I know he told me to leave him alone.

I decide to call Paisley like I had planned to begin with. However, Christian 's number soon shows up on the screen. Fuck. I curse under my breath. Why did I think calling him was a good idea?

I let it ring. But soon he is calling again. I press ignore and dial Paisley. Yet, I roll my eyes when it goes to voicemail. Of course, she would be missing when I need her the most. I look around the room and decide that I rather walk home then stay here another minute longer. I don't want to deal with angry Henry when he comes downstairs. However, as I attempt to leave my eyes catch the person I fear the most right now.

"Anastasia... You bitch." I hear Henry screaming. He is walking towards me. I panic. "You will pay for this." He says as he grabs his private parts.

I begin to walk trying to get away, but everyone is looking at me. Are they really going to watch and not do anything about it? Without thinking it twice I begin to type on my phone. When I'm comfortable with what I wrote I put it away.

"Don't come close Henry." I scream at him, but he doesn't stop. He is angry, and I fear what will happen next.

Henry laughs at me. "Not so tough now?"

"You will regret if you come near me again." I yell. "remember what happened last time Henry."

People begin to circle around us, but it doesn't stop him. I suspect he is enjoying it. "You think your going to get away with kicking me?" He angrily shouts at me. Then he signals to someone. "grab the bitch."

Two girls come behind me and hold me back. They are laughing. I attempt to get my arms off their hold, but I can't. I'm scared. Why did I agree to come to this party? How did I ever have feelings for him?

Henry looks at me as he is finally face to face with me. He is lucky I'm being hold back or he would be getting the beat of his life right now.

"You are very sexy when you are scared." He laughs and moves a string of hair behind my ear. His lips move close to mine and he kisses the corner of my mouth. "I'm going to teach you how to behave when around a man."

I pull and tug, but they won't let me go. "Let me go." I plea but they aren't listening.

"No... we are going to teach you a lesson." Henry whispers to me. "Hold her tight." He orders.

"Simon get the scissors."

A guy from the back comes forward and hands him a pair of black scissors. I'm in full panic mode now. Why does he need scissors? What the hell is going to happen to me?

"Shhh... relax. I'm just going to teach you not to be such a tease." Henry brings the scissors up, close to my face. I scream and close my eyes, but somewhat I relax when he begins to cut my dress and not my face.

"STOP!" I hear someone scream then Henry is being pushed to the ground and kicked.

Everything's happening so fast and the next thing I know I am being rushed out the house by a man in a black hoodie. I attempt to get his hand off of my arm, but he doesn't. At least not until we arrive outside the house.

"Get in the car." He tells me, and I look at him confused. "Anastasia it's me." He takes the hoodie off and I see Christian. Then I remember the message I sent him. The one where I ask him for help. How the hell did he get here so fast? At this point it doesn't even matter. I'm extremely thankful.

The noise of the house door opening brings me out of my thoughts. I panic when I see Henry coming towards us. I immediately get in the car and so does Christian . In a matter of minutes, we are pulling away from the curb and for the first time tonight I feel safe.


	13. Chapter Twelve: Dark Paintings

**CHAPTER TWELVE:**

I'm grateful when Christian drives away, and I try to hold on to the top of my ripped dress. The last thing I want to do is show my breast to him. I'm restless, befuddled and to a great degree furious at what simply occurred with Henry. I never thought he was that way. Maybe I never truly knew who he truly was. I attempt to calm down and steady my breathing. Yet, I'm way too worked up to do so.

"Are you alright?" Christian looks at me, he looks concerned. "Anastasia answer me?"

"I-" I take a long deep breath when Christian pulls the car to the side of the road and ventures out of the car. He comes around to open the car door for me. Why are we stopping? It is safe to say that he is mad at me for calling him? Terrified, I step out carefully avoiding eye contact with him. I feel so humiliated. "I'm Fine, thank you for helping me." I finally answer him, hoping by me thanking him he will go easy on me for bringing him out at this time at night.

"No. Don't thank me. You could have gotten seriously hurt Anastasia." He tells me off and I'm in no mood to be hearing this right now.

"I know... I'm sorry I called you." I whisper and wrap my arms around myself. The night has gotten colder and I'm wearing a very small now broken dress. I can't help but shiver.

Christian notices and opens the trunk of his car and pulls out a jacket and hands it to me. At that moment I finally give myself the time to stare at him. He is wearing light blue jeans and a simple black hoodie. His face scares are hidden from the view. I want to tell him to take it off, but I don't dare.

"Thank you." I yelped. The jacket smells like his cologne and all I want to do is sniff it and take in all of it. Yet, I don't want to seem weird, so I don't.

"Come on, I'll take you home." Christian commanded. I want to tell him I'm not ready to go home yet. How do I tell him that home is the last place I want to be right now? I can't deal with my parents asking me questions right now. I shake my head. I rather walk and clear my head. "No. You have done enough. I can walk home." I begin to move, but he stops me.

"It's one in the morning, you are not walking home alone... Please get in the car." He muttered, making me feel like a child.

"I said I'll be fine." I repeat myself. "I don't need you to look out for me." I add hoping he will let me go.

Christian exhales loudly. I wonder if he was in bed before I called him? He looks around the street and I see how irritated he really is. "Well I'm not leaving you here...So get in please."

"I said I will be fine." I begin to walk. Then I hear Christian's door open and close. I think he got the message that I don't need him anymore.

"ANASTASIA! please get in the car." He follows me with his car. I attempt to ignore him, but it doesn't seem to work. He stays a few feet away from me. "I will follow you all night if I have to." He adds and some how I know he means that.

"Ughhh... Fine." I sight and get in the car. I know he won't leave until I do.

Christian clears his throat and says, "You can't call me again Anastasia." He tells me quietly. His eyes never leaving the road.

"I'm sorry-" I feel so stupid for thinking he would change his mind and want to have me around.

"You need to stay away from me. You are a sweet girl, too young for me." He truthfully tells me. I want to be mad at him, but I appreciate the honesty.

"But, I wanted-" Yet I still need the money for school, so I need to try and change his mind.

"But nothing Anastasia. Me joining that website was a mistake and I should of have never reached out to you... I'm not who you think I am. I'm too damaged to be anyone's friend."

I look towards the window attempting to hold my tears back. Why does he have to be so mean? If he wants me out of his life, then I will never reach out to him again. I know I need the money, but I will not let anyone humiliate me.

"Don't worry, I won't contact you anymore." I whisper. I'm glad when he doesn't say anything else.

Ten minutes later he pulls in front of my house, I undo my seatbelt and reach for the door. However, before I can get out he grabs my arm and stops me.

"Anastasia, this is for the best trust me." His eyes plea for me not to fight him on this.

I roll my eyes and move my hand from his hold, annoyed as hell. How can he really say this to me? I close the door and I walk up the steps to the front door. As I'm entering the key my mother opens the door. Great my luck! Now I will have to explain to her who Christian is and why I am late... not in the mood to have to deal with this right now, not after dealing with Christian and what happened with Henry. I hope she didn't notice him, It would give me one last thing to worry about.

"ANASTASIA! Where were you?" My mother yells and I throw my bag on the couch.

I need to calm down, my mother can't see me like this or she will ask, and I really can't deal with her questions right now. I put on a fake smile and look at her. "Sorry the party ran longer than expected."

"Longer than expected? It is 1:00 am Anastasia. I was worried." She looks mad.

"I'm sorry it won't happen again." I tell her not looking for a fight. All I want to do is go to bed and cry.

"So, who was that?" Great she notices.

"A friend." Can I even call him that? I barely know him.

"He drives an expensive car." I roll my eyes, she would notice that.

"Mom, I really don't want to talk about him." I head to the stairs, but she stops me.

"How old is he? He looks a bit older than you."

"He's a year or two older, what does it matter." I answer, sounding angrier than I want to show. Please stop asking me questions I scream inside my head.

"Anastasia, what's wrong? You seem mad"

"I'm not." I tell her.

What am I supposed to do now? How am I going to afford Harvard? Should I just pretend I don't care? That it doesn't matter that he wants me to stay away? I cannot believe this is happening to me.

"Can I go to my room now?" I plea to her to let me.

"Fine, but we are talking more about this tomorrow." She tells me.

I take two steps at the time and head to my room. Christian was supposed to be the answer to my problems... now I have nothing. Well, there is nothing I can do, he doesn't want to get to know me. I just wish he could've had figured that out before he spoke to me on the website and made a fool of me.

* * *

As soon as I walk into my room, I reach for a new blank canvas board and grab my colors out of my drawer. The only thing that makes me relax when I'm angry is painting. I immediately grab my black color and start to draw, not caring about anything else. I can feel myself calming down, my mind is clear, and I push all my feelings to the back. I am very good at doing that. It feels like I have been painting for more than an hour when my phone goes off. I reach for it and to my surprise it's Nick. One of my good friends. He is the owner of a new nearby gallery and has shown interest on the few paintings I have. I wonder why he is calling so late. I let it ring and then notice he has called multiple times. I decide to answer when he calls again.

"Hey, Nick I have been meaning to call you," I say.

"Anastasia... I have been calling you like crazy! where have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while and the gallery opening is tomorrow." he says sounding worried.

"I know, I have been busy with finals." Not that it matters now. I won't even get to go to university.

"Well I'm glad I got you on the phone. We need a plan for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I ask confused.

"Omg please don't tell me you forgot." he says horrified "you did, didn't you" he yells.

"I'm sorry, I have a lot going on right now."

"Anastasia you promise you would have the paintings done for the opening of my studio... Which is tomorrow."

I can't believe I had forgotten about his Studio opening this weekend. Thankfully, I remember finishing the paintings a few weeks ago.

"Yes of course they are done, I will see you tomorrow Nick. Don't worry." I try to reassure him.

"Great...wow, you had me scared for a minute." he laughs.

Nick and I hang up the phone with promises of meeting up early tomorrow, before the opening so I can put my paintings up. I'm so mentally exhausted that I decide I better get to bed. As I lay in bed, my eyes close with exhaustion. I regret ever agreeing to show my paintings and I wish I could take tonight all back. I wish I could just lay in bed and not worry about anything else.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Million Reasons

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN:**

"Anastasia, you are late!" Nick yells at me and I ignore him. I'm in no mood to be getting yelled at. He is lucky I even showed up. I'm tired and pissed off about the whole Christian situation. I still can't get over the fact that he asked me to stay away from him. However, I need to get over it and move on with my life, even if it means no Harvard University.

"Sorry, I slept in." I tell him but to be honest I could care less if he is upset. "But I'm here now so let's set up." I add not wanting to deal with his drama. Nick is a bit of a drama queen- with his big eyes which are every shade of brown you could imagine, a raw umber and caramel mix, dotted with bits of dark chocolate. They glow with humor and playfulness that gives you shivers and wraps you in a warm embrace at the same time and to top it off his dreamy eyelashes let him get away with everything.

I met Nick two years a go at a friend's party. We bounded when we mutually agreed that the Lion painting was too plain for either of our tastes. After showing him pictures of some of my paintings he had made me a promise that night to me; that when ever he opened his own gallery that he would have a spot for me.

Running a hand through his black hair I can see he is holding his tongue back from saying something sassy. "Fine. Come I'll show you where your paintings will be displayed." With that he starts to walk towards the building and I can't help but take a deep breath before I follow him. I can't deny I'm nervous and excited.

When we enter the building, I look around. White walls are surrounding us, and a bar is to the right. There are pretty white lights that resemble Christmas lights. I finally let it all sink in... I'm going to show my paintings to people for the first time. Anxiety soon takes over and I find myself wanting to change my mind.

"You can set-up your things here." Nick points at the wall on the left. "I'll be back in a minute to check on you." With that he walks away leaving me to arrange my paintings.

Without thinking it twice, I begin to arrange my paintings in the best way I can. I need to make sure they sell. I need all the money I can get for school.

"Wow," Nick looks at my paintings and smiles. "I knew you were good, but you have definitely outdone yourself."

I nod my head agreeing with him. My paintings have developed, and I have found a darker side of me. Which comes out great in my paintings. I guess my parents spending my money did that for me... brought out a darkness that I didn't know I had.

"Hopefully I can make some real money tonight. I really need it." I tell him.

"I don't think you have to worry about that. I'm sure you will sell all of them. I have a big clientele list who are looking for paintings like this." He reassures me. "A lot of people with money will be here tonight. Just make sure you are smiling and super friendly. You should try and mingle with people." He tells me and I'm already wishing this night to be over.

* * *

At exactly seven o'clock people begin to arrive. Fixing my black dress, I take a deep breath. I jump a little when music begins to play as I wasn't expecting it. I have never been to a gallery opening, so I don't know how they work. I guess jazz music and wine are two things that go with it.

I panic when people begin to walk by my paintings without stopping. I know I have a lot of competition in here, but I was hoping at least one person would be interested.

"Don't worry, it just started." Nick whispers to me. "Here have some wine." He hands me a glass of white wine and I gulp it down. I need more if I'm going to make it tonight. With that I go to walk towards the bar but come to a stop when a man stops to look at my paintings. He is tall and very intimidating. He is wearing a black suit and his hair is buzzed to perfection.

The man pulls his phone out and proceeds to take a couple of pictures, which I'm not sure he is actually allowed to do. However, before I can say anything he is typing on his phone. "Miss can I take a picture of you with the paintings?" He asks, "My boss would like to see the person who painted these amazing paintings." He adds.

His boss? Is he here buying for someone else? I must look confused.

"He is willing to take them all as long as you let me take your picture."

I think about it for a minute... Who the hell asks for a picture of the artist to decide if they want the paintings? However, am I in a position where I can say no? I really need the money. I need to do whatever it takes.

"Fine, but just one." I stand in the middle of the paintings and hold still as he snaps the picture.

"Thank you Miss." With that he walks away leaving me confused.

* * *

" I knew you would sell all of your paintings!" Nick smiles at me as we clean up. Everyone has left and being the nice person, I am, I stayed behind to help with the cleaning.

"I had my doubts at the beginning... then that weird man took my picture and walked away. I wasn't sure if I would even sell anything." I tell him truthfully.

"Well you don't have to worry about that anymore." He giggles. "You sold all of them."

"So, who bought the paintings anyways? Do you know their name?" I ask him curious.

"No idea. They decided to keep it unknown." He tells me. "But what matters is that you made some good money. I think I'll ask you for more paintings for the next show."

I laugh, "I don't think I ever want to do this again."

"What?" He looks shocked. "Sweetheart, you were meant for this."

I shake my head and laugh some more, "Come on, let's finish up, I'm ready for bed."


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Tea for the Soul

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN:**

"What's wrong with you?" A horrified Paisley utters as she pulls away. I attempt to calm down but I'm freaking out. Why does that car keep following me? What does it want from me?

"The car in front of you has been following me." I finally state as I hold on to the car door as if by doing that it will keep me safe. I'm shaking. Who ever it was, sure scared me.

"What? Should we call the cops?" Paisley asks very concerned.

"No. They are gone now." I answer her a bit calmer now. "Maybe it was just Henry trying to scare me." saying that makes me realize that I soon will have to face him after what happened last night.

"Okay, you need to tell me everything that happened last night." she demands, and I want to tell that I don't want to talk about it but I know she won't stop asking until I do.

"I will. But first I need a tea."

"I know a place." Paisley tells me and we drive that way.

* * *

When we arrive outside of Dulce Cafe, I am finally feeling a bit relax. It has been a long stressful day and I can't wait to take a minute to think things through.

"Come on!" Paisley brings me out of my thoughts. "let's get that tea... I want to hear what happened."

I nod my head and get out of the car. "Fine, but you are totally buying. I'm homeless now." we both laugh and head towards the Cafe.

We quickly pick a table by the window and order two peppermint teas. "So, what happened yesterday?"

"Henry tried to rape me." I state, and her face goes pale like she has seen a ghost.

"What?" She asks shocked.

"He is definitely not who I thought he was." I murmur disappointed. I was in love with this guy for too many years and I never expected him to be this way.

"Okay, start from the beginning and don't leave anything out." she touches my hand in a show of support.

"Well you know when I left you to go to the bathroom?"

"Yes, you were gone so long." She says, and I hold back the fact she wasn't there when I needed her.

"Well once I came out of the bathroom he asked me to join him in his room. I didn't think much of it because he has always been so nice to me... but I guess he isn't a nice person."

"Then what happened?" she sits closer to the end of her seat like when a good tv show throws a plot twist.

"We were talking and out of nowhere he assumed that I had came to the party to sleep with him. When I told him that wasn't the case he freaked out. I tried to leave the room, but he became aggressive. He grabbed me and pushed me on the bed... The good thing is I'm good at defending myself and I hit him on the balls."

"I can't believe that happened to you Anastasia." Paisley looks sad. "I'm going to kill him."

"That's not even the worst part." placing my hands on my head I run them through my hair.

"What do you mean?" Paisley asks.

"When I ran out of his room after I hit him, he followed me. I guess I didn't hit him too hard. He was so angry... He asked two girls I don't know to hold me. Then out of nowhere he started cutting my dress."

"OMG... what the fuck?"

"Wait I guess I should tell you what happened before that. I called Christian because I couldn't find you and I was scared. However, when he answer I freaked so I hanged up. But as I saw Henry coming towards me, I wrote a quick message for help to Christian."

"Okay this is like a TV show... Then what happened?"

"As Henry was cutting my dress, Christian showed up." I tell her.

"No?" Her mouth is now open shocked.

"Yes! He was all in black with a hoodie. He got me out of the house and drove me home. Then he told me to never contact him again." I reach for my tea which is cold now and sip it.

"What was his reason for that?"

"I'm too young... he is too damage. The usual story." I mock.

"So, you are staying away? What about Harvard?"

"I don't have much choice... I need to come up with a different plan or I can say bye to Harvard." I angrily admit.

"Well we better get thinking then because you only have a few weeks until the money is due."

I nod my head and panic. I have no place to live, no money for school and tomorrow I have to face the boy who almost raped me.

 **A/n: Please comment.**


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Shadows

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN:**

"Anastasia," I hear a voice calling me, but I ignore it. I'm exhausted. "wake up!" I hear the voice again and then I feel hands. Paisley shakes me around and I want to fight her off me. I pull the blanket up my face. I'm tired. I didn't get to bed until late last night. All I want to do is stay in bed and forget about my life. "You can't miss school, we are graduating soon." She adds.

"If you don't get up now, I will bring a bucket of water!"

"You wouldn't dare!" I say offended not opening my eyes.

"Oh, you don't think so?" She gets off me and stands up. I know she will totally do it if I don't get up now.

"Okay, fine. I will get up." Irritated I say and push the blankets off me.

"Good, grab anything you want from my closet and meet me downstairs." She tells me smiling and walks out the room. She is lucky I need to be nice to her because I have no place to live right now or I would totally have yelled at her.

I grab the pillow and scream into it. I don't want to go to school. I'm not ready to face Henry. I'm scared. What if he is still angry and tries to do something to me? After all I did kick him hard in the balls. Although, he should feel lucky that I didn't press charges after what he tried to do.

I begin to breath fast with fear. I decide I'm not ready to confront him. I stand up and quickly walk into Paisley's closet. I grab a pair of jeans and a white simple t-shirt. I dress immediately  
and grabbing my purse, I head down the stairs as quiet as I can. I need to get out of here without Paisley hearing me.

I slowly sneak around until I get to the kitchen and I'm thankful when no one is there. Quickly I grab my shoes and walk out the door.

I relax immediately when I'm a few feet away from the house. Paisley is going to kill me when she finds out I left, but at this moment I don't care. She doesn't understand what I'm going through. Henry is one of the most popular boys in the school and if he wants to make my life miserable he has the ways to do so.

I begin to walk faster. I'm not sure where I am going, but I don't stop. I walk street after street until I reach a Starbucks. I head inside and decide to have a coffee and think about my next move.

"Welcome to Starbucks what can I get for you?" the guy with spiky blond hair behind the counter asks.

"A double espresso please." I tell him as I pull money out of my pocket. I'm so glad I have extra cash right now do to the paintings I sold. Perhaps I can get a hotel room? No. I can't. I need the money for school. I know it is not enough, but it is something.

When I have gotten my coffee, I decide to take a seat at the table by the window. As I sip on it, I stare at the people walking by and find it extremely relaxing. At least until I get a text message.

Paisley: Where the hell are you?

I ignore it and continue to look out the window. However, soon I'm getting another message from Paisley.

Paisley: Anastasia you better come to school!

I ignore it again and put my phone back in my pocket. I have no energy to explain to her why I don't want to be at school right now.

* * *

Three hours later, I stand across the street from my parents house waiting for their cars to be gone. I need to sneak in for clothes and my laptop. I know they soon will leave as they come home every day at this time for lunch.

I take a long deep breath and hide behind a tree across the house as I see my mother walk out of the house. Then two minutes later my father follows. As they pull away, I hide. I can't let them see me.

When I feel like I'm safe to come out I do so slowly. I sneak to the backyard and get in through the back door. My parents usually leave this door unlocked and today is no difference- which I'm thankful for.

Heading up the stairs I get excited when I see my bed. I didn't sleep well last night and I'm exhausted. Without thinking it twice I sit on it. I have a few hours before they come back. Perhaps I can rest my eyes for a minute before I head back out? Pulling the blanket on me. I let sleep take over me.

* * *

I wake up and panic when I hear noises coming from downstairs. I grab my phone and see that it is just a little after eight pm. I can't believe I slept so much. I immediately grab what I came for and place it inside my backpack. I grab a sweater and put my shoes on as I need to get the hell out of here. When I'm ready to go, I slowly open the door a little just so I can see if no one is near my room.

When I see I'm on the clear, I walk slowly down the corridor and down the stairs. But I soon come to a stop. I hide myself behind the wall that separates the living room from the kitchen.

"Stop worrying so much. She will come back when she runs out of options." my father tells my mother.

"I don't know. Perhaps we made a big mistake. Maybe if we explain where the money went to she will understand and come back." my mother says and I can't help but hear the pain in her voice.

"No. We promise we would never tell her." he yells.

"But-"

"But nothing. She will be back in a few days."

I fight the urge to come out of hiding and ask what they are talking about? What are they hiding from me? Yet, if I do then I'll have to admit that they have won. That I need them to support me. I shake my head. I'm definitely not doing that.

I wait until they are out of the kitchen and sneak out. When I'm finally outside I can't shake the feeling that there is more to them spending my money. I need answers, but for right now I have to settle for the unknown and worry about where I'm going to go now.

* * *

Shivering I walk and walk... Until I don't know where I am. It is dark. And I don't know where to turn. I stand in the middle of the street scared. I don't know where to go from here. Perhaps if I call Paisley she will come get me and let me sleep at her house?

I quickly grab my phone, but to my surprise it is dead. Fuck. I have the worst luck. What am I going to do now? I look up and down the road and I don't see anything familiar. Why did I have to walk so far out?

I decide to walk back the road I came from in hopes I will see something familiar and find my way back to Paisley's house.

However, my heart begins to beat fast as I walk into a very dark street. The houses look old and abandoned. Noises from the bushes are freaking me out even more. I pick up my speed and decide if I'm going to make it alive I need to get the hell out of here.

I finally relax for a minute when I turn into the next street and see people. But that minute doesn't last long until I see the last thing I was expecting. Fear invades my body and all I can see is the black car from yesterday.


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Everything has changed

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN:**

I freak out—who the hell keeps following me? I begin to walk faster. I need to keep my distance. As soon as I get to the next street I gaze around looking for any clues of where I am. Nevertheless, I have horrible memory, and nothing looks familiar.

Slowly I turn around to see if the black car is still following me and when I see it is, I decide I have two choices—either I confront it or run. Running seems like the best option and that's what I should have had done instead of stopping and confronting the car.

"You have been following me for two days? Who the hell are you and what do you want?" I scream at it, but I doubt they can hear me with the windows up. "HELLOOOO" I scream some more and tap on the window.

Finally, whoever is behind the wheel opens the window. "Miss Steele?"

"How the hell do you know my last name?" I finally get close enough to see the man. He has short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. I don't know who he is and I have never seen him in my life before.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He tells me and opens the car door and gets out.

"Okay … who are you?" I back up a little and bring my voice down a bit.

"A friend of yours asked me to keep an eye on you." He tells me and that makes no sense to me.

"A friend?" The last time I checked I don't have very many friends… and definitely someone with money. "Now I know you are lying. You better stay back if you don't want me to scream."

"No … no please don't scream." He looks nervous. He runs a hand through his hair and looks at me.

"THEN START TALKING." I shout.

"Your friend, Mr. Grey." He tells me, and I know I'm horrible with names, but that name doesn't ring a bell at all.

Mr. Grey? Who the hell is that?

"You are making no sense... I don't know anyone with that name." I am getting irritated now. Who does this man think he is? I'm about to call the police.

"Christian Grey." He adds. "Sorry I should've said his full name."

I must look shocked. The man stares at me confused.

"He asked me to keep an eye on you. Do you have a place to sleep tonight? you have been wandering around for a few hours now."

"I'm fine. Please tell Mr. Grey not to worry about me as we aren't even friends. He made that clear the last time we spoke..." I begin to walk, but he follows me.

"Wait Miss, I have instructions to bring you to your house."

I stop and turn around, "No... Please stop following me now."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Well I'm afraid I can't go home so you can't take me there even if I let you." I hiss.

"What do you mean?" He looks confused. Who the hell does this man think he is? I'm not about to disclose my private life.

"Not that is any of your business, but I got in a fight with my parents and I'm not welcome there anymore."

The man stays quiet for a minute not knowing what to say. He soon grabs his phone out of his pocket and after pressing a few buttons he brings the phone to his ear. "Yes... She is with me... No... She can't go back there... okay."

I wonder who he is talking to? It must be him... Christian.

The man hangs up the phone and looks at me. "Miss, please get in the car. Christian would like you to meet him."

I give him the dirtiest look, "What?" I'm not about to meet Christian not after the last time we talked, and he told me to stay away. "I don't think so." I begin to walk again.

"Please, don't make this difficult." He tells me but I'm not listening. "It is late, and it is dark, are you sure you want to spend the night out here."

I listen to what he is saying. It is dark and scary out here. However, I'm not sure I want to see Christian. "I will be fine." I gaze around as I say this. But I'm soon changing my mind when a loud noise from the bushes near me scares me and almost gives me a heart attack.

"Fine I will come with you, but only for a minute. Then you will drive me to my friends house."

"Very well miss." He opens the car door and I get in hoping I'm not walking into a lion's cage.

 **A/N: please comment for me**


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Too good at goodbyes

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:**

"We are here," the strange man tells me as we pull in front of a house. I gaze around and all I see is big tall trees and greenery. We drove for over six hours and I'm confused at where we are. I panic—it is far from the city and nothing is near. No other homes. No people. I swallow hard very frighten.

Getting out of the car, I stare at the house which is a burgundy coloured with wooden planks. The morning light blue sky with the white clouds can be seen on the numerous panes of glass that formed the windows of the 2-storey cottage home. From the road it has an even layer of gravel topped with little quantities of sand and dust.

I take a deep breath and soon the strange man is beside me. "You can go in Miss Steele." He tells me, but I don't move. "You don't have to be afraid." He adds, but it is hard not too.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask the strange man the question I should of have had before I got in his car.

"Sure, Miss Steele."

"How do you know Christian?" I'm genuinely curious as Christian seems to be a very private man.

" I work for him, I'm his assistant." He tells me, "You should go in now." he adds.

I nod and slowly begin to walk towards the door, but I stop yet again when I arrive at the door and push it a little open. I'm nervous and confused as why I am here. I take a deep breath and step inside. I close the door behind me and take a good look at this place.

The walls are white and the furniture is a nice shade of brown. It is small and cozy. I walk around until I come to a stop outside of a room. I reach for the doorknob but before I can open the door someone with a deep masculine voice says my name.

"Anastasia."

I turn around immediately and look at the man in front of me, my heart begins to beat fast. I don't know what is wrong with me? Why is my body reacting this way towards this man?

"Christian." His name leaves my mouth and our eyes meet. We stay quiet for a minute and then I can't hold the questions back anymore. "Why did you bring me here?"

He doesn't say anything. He stands looking at me and I can't help but stare at him. He is wearing a simple white t-shirt with black shorts. He is sweaty. I wonder what he was doing before I got here? His face is looking down at the floor and I know he is shy about his scars.

"First I need a shower." He walks past me, and I follow. I'm irritated, I need to know what the hell he is doing?

"Wait, no. I need answers." I shout, but he ignores me and walks up the stairs. I follow him. I'm not backing down. "Christian, you can't bring me here and not tell me why." I hiss. He walks into a room and I come to a halt when he begins to take his shirt off.

"Maybe I will just wait for you downstairs." I murmur.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." He smiles and I'm glad he is finally looking at me… He has a beautiful smile.

I turn around and walk out of the room and down the stairs. I need some fresh air and time to gather my thoughts. Rushing to the front door I walk down the steps, as I reach outside I stare at the sky. I'm confused. Why did he bring me here? how did he know about my paintings? but I also have deeper questions too like why does he hide from people? why is he afraid? what happened to his face?

I want to know more. Yet, I don't think I will ever know. I think he is too afraid to let me in. Taking a deep breath, I realize that I need to get out of here. I look around for clues of where I am. Yet, as I turn around I see Christian staring at me, his eyes are a deep shade of green. He looks so damaged. Scared. And all I can think is that something horrible happened to him.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought you here." he tells me, "If you want you can leave." He tells me as he runs a hand through his wet hair. I can see that he is confused. Like this is the first time that he brings someone here.

"Why did you bring me here then, if I recall correctly you told me to stay away." I demand answers, "How did you know about my paintings and why did you buy my painting?"

"I didn't know you painted. I usually send my buyer to small galleries that's where I find the best paintings. I really like yours. They are beautiful, dark, and they call to me." He gets closer to me and I can't help and stare at his face. His scars break my heart. He is a very handsome man even with his scars. "Like I said, you aren't a hostage you can leave if you want."

"Christian, I have questions."

Christian looks at me, "I know you do. I know you must have a lot of questions." He murmurs.

"the only way I'm going to stay is if I get some answers." I tell him, not backing down. He needs to open up to me.

"fine, but I have questions too." He tells me, "Like how come you have been walking the streets for hours? why are you not home?"

I look at him, but don't say anything. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Fine, we should get some rest first, we have time to talk about it later."

I nod my head, it is a little over 6 am and I'm exhausted. I haven't slept all night. "I think that is a good idea, but before we do that, I need you to tell me something."

"Fine, ask me one question."

"Why did you reach out to me? What got your attention about me?" I ask curious as to why he felt the need to reach out to me through the Cryptic message's website.

"That is two questions, but...because you're the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen." his eyes never leave mine and for a minute I feel like my heart is going to break out of my chest. The tension between us is so strong. I can feel the chemistry and sexual tension between us. "come on, I'll show you around." He takes my hand and for a minute I allow myself to get close enough to him.

 **A/N: Please comment**


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Let me love you

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:**

I wake up to a peaceful quietness and I can't help having a huge smile on my face. I haven't slept this good in days and I'm a bit surprise that I was even able to even do so after what Christian said to me. After he walked me to the guest room I was left with even more questions. I can't wait to talk to him some more.

With that on my mind, I get up quickly and use the bathroom. Rinsing my mouth and taking care of business, I begin to feel anxious. He makes me feel so nervous. But, he also makes me feel alive. Something about him brings another part of me that I can't understand; it is like I have been awaken. Like I never felt carnal desire before him.

I check myself one last time in the mirror and head out of the bathroom and out of the room. My heart begins to beat fast at the thought of seeing him and talking to him.

Walking down the stairs I'm surprised at what I find. "I hope you like chicken parmesan." Christian smiles as I continue to walk down the stairs. I'm staring like an idiot at the food and candles around the table. I wonder if he cooked for me? It makes me feel warm inside at the thought of him putting this much effort for me. No one has ever done this for me.

"Did you make all of this?" I ask with a huge smirk on my face.

"Yes, I'm not the best cook, but I hope it taste alright." He shyly says and I love to look at him.

"I'm sure it will." I smile at him. The butterflies in my stomach are making me very nervous.

I quickly take a seat and wait for him to sit down. "Dig in, I bet you are hungry." He tells me, and I nod my head in agreement. I haven't had anything to eat since the food I had at Starbucks yesterday.

"So, will you tell me why you brought me here now?" I ask as I take a bite of my food.

"I told you, I didn't want you to be outside wandering around at night alone. '"He grabs his wine glass and takes a sip. "Will you tell me why you were out on the streets?" He asks curious.

"My parents kicked me out." I murmur taking another bite of food. "They don't understand me." I add.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asks.

I shake my head, "I would rather not." I grab my wine glass and take a sip. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," He looks at me intrigued.

"How old are you?"

He smiles, "I just turned 23."

I swallow my food hard and find myself choking a little.

"Am I too old for you? Your profile said you are 19, right?"

I stay quiet, I'm scared he is going to freak out when I tell him I'm only 17 years old.

"Actually... I'm only seventeen, but my birthday is in two weeks." I murmur.

Christian stays quiet. He looks pale. "You lied?"

"I'm sorry." I admit.

"You are sorry? " he gets up, "You need to leave." He yells at me.

"Wait, no." I stand up and move close to him.

"I could get in trouble just by being near you." He is angry, and I don't blame him.

"You won't get in trouble. We can just be friends." I tell him.

He turns around and finally looks at me, "I can't be around you."

"Why not?"

"I just can't Anastasia."

"You hate me that much because I lied about my age?" I'm the one yelling now.

He doesn't say anything. He just stands still in front of me.

"So now you are done with me? Then why did you bring me here?" angry tears invade my eyes.

"You want to know why you need to leave now?" He grabs me by the arm and pulls me close to him. "You really want to know?" his face is now next to mine.

I lick my lips as my body shakes with need. I stare at him and he is staring at my lips. I can feel how much he wants me.

"You need to leave before I do something stupid." He whispers and all I can do is stare at his eyes. They are full of desire and anger.

"I'm not leaving." I firmly answer.

"No?"

As I shake my head he crushes his lips into mine. We kiss for what feels like a long time, but I know it has only been a couple of minutes. When we finally pull a part I am left breathless.

"This is why I can't be around you." With that he storms out of the room leaving me confused and trying to catch my breath.

* * *

I walk back and forth thinking of what just happened. I can't deny the kiss was amazing. I need to look for Christian and talk this through. It can't end this way. Not after the amazing kiss. I wonder where he went? I begin to walk around in search of him.

I'm glad when I see light coming through one of the room doors. I walk towards it and stand still listening for any movement. I don't know if I should knock or just leave him alone for a while. I decide to knock, building courage I do it. However, he doesn't answer me.

I knock again and again until he finally opens. He looks at me and my heart beats fast, "We need to talk." The words leave my mouth very quietly.

He stands to the side as to let me in the room. "I guess we do." He tells me, and I know it is about to be a long night.

 **A/n: please comment and let me know what you think so far about this story:)**


	20. Chapter Nineteen: Love yourself

**CHAPTER NINETEEN:**

As I walk inside the room I can't stop my heart from beating fast. I don't know what is going on. All I know is that we are about to determine where this relationship will go from here. I'm worried, scared and confused. How can I have feelings for a man this soon? I don't even know him. Although he is the one making that very hard to do.

In spite of my insecurities and fear of rejection, I build up courage and place my hand on my waist to show that I mean serious business. "This can't end like this."

"Anastasia-" he says, but I stop him by putting my hand out in a sign of silence. He needs to listen to me and I'm going to make sure he does.

"I need you to stay quiet and listen to what I have to say before you make up your mind."

"But, I-"

"No! You are going to let me talk first." I tell him off and that surely builds my confidence. "I know I have made a mistake... I should've have never lied about my age." I admit knowing I'm totally in the wrong.

"I can agree with that." he mumbles.

"I'm not done yet." I tell him off for interrupting me yet again. "But in spite of that, I feel like I deserve a second chance. I know you like me, or you wouldn't have brought me here."

"That's the problem Anastasia, I like you. I can't like you. You are too young for me... I bet you are still in high school."

"Well yeah but I will be done in a month."

That makes him pace the room. Then his hand makes his way to his hair, which I have noticed he does when stress. "This can't happen. I won't change my mind. You can stay tonight, but tomorrow you need to go back to the city." he angrily says.

I gaze at him angry, who does he think he is? He doesn't get to play with my feelings. Ever since we met he has changed his mind about me every five minutes. However, this endless cycle ends today.

Without thinking it through I storm closer to him and stare into his eyes. We both stay quiet for a minute, staring at each other until the tension builds and I can't hold myself back. I do the last thing I should do and crush my lips into his. I kiss him with a deep anger and I'm glad when he doesn't push me away, instead he pulls me in deeper as we kiss.

Christian moves his hand down my waist and pulls me in closer to his body,never breaking our kiss. I let the feeling of his hand and lips take over me. How can he say he wants me to stay away when his body says different?

My hands move up to his chest and I begin to unbutton his shirt. I take my sweet time until I get to the last one.

"We can't..." He breaks our kiss and pulls my hand up to his lips, kissing it gently he lets it go. "We can't do this."

I take a deep breath trying to gather my thoughts. "But we both want to."

"I know, but that doesn't mean we can." He shyly smiles at me.

"Then this is it? We forget about our feelings?" I ask hoping he won't finish what we could have. Christian looks at me and I can tell he doesn't want that either.

"How about we take it slow?" I can see that he really means that.

"Slow?" I ask confused.

"Yes, we can be friends for now." He adds.

I think about it for a minute. Perhaps this could work. I still need to get the money for school and this might be the way. "I would be okay with that." I tell him smiling.

"I would really like that too." He admits. "But before that can happen, I need you to be completely honest with me. There can't be any more lies." He looks very serious as he says this. "There is one thing I can't deal with and that is lying."

I nod my head. "No more lies, I promise."

"Good, there is nothing more that I hate then someone who lies and uses people."

I gaze at him worried, does he know about my plan?

"Anastasia, promise me right now that you won't lie to me ever again."

I stay quiet for a minute, "I promise."

Christian smiles happy. "Good," he runs a hand through my hair.

"So what now?" I ask curious.

"I have something I want you to see."

"Oh?"

"You will need a sweater," With that he makes his way to his closet and retrieves a black hoodie and a blanket. "Put this on and follow me."

I nod my head and put on the sweater. "So where are we going?"

"You will have to wait and see." he smirks.

I follow him out the house and towards the driveway. We follow the road towards a field. I take Christian's hand as we walk through the darkness. Only the moon serves us as a means of light.

"We are almost there." He tells me.

We walk for a couple of more minutes until we are in the middle of the huge field. Christian places the blanket down and he settles down. "Sit." He touches the empty side next to him.

I hesitate for a minute but soon find myself sitting. "So why are we here."

Christian points to the sky. "You can't really see the stars in the city, but since there is nothing around here they show up beautifully."

I lay back and gaze at the beautiful shiny stars. I stay quiet for a while taking in the beauty of it. I can't believe how much the night has turned around since Christian told me that I had to leave. I'm thankful that he changed his mind.

"Do you come here often?" I ask hoping to know more about his life.

"Yes, I like to be here." He answers me.

"Can I ask you something?" I say quietly hoping I won't upset him.

"sure." He answers hesitantly.

"Why do you like being alone so much?" I finally ask him one of the questions that has been bothering me.

Christian stays quiet for a minute, "I don't trust people."

"You don't trust people?" I ask as trying to make sense of this.

"Yes." He answers short.

"Did someone do something to you?" I ask even though I already know the answer.

"Yes." He sits up and I know he is uncomfortable with this conversation.

I sit up too, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." I apologize.

"I rather not talk about it anymore." He whispers, and I know I need to drop it for now.

"then we don't have to." I smile at him, "Can we stay out here a little longer?" I ask.

"We can stay as long as you want." He finally smiles at me and I move closer to him enjoying the beautiful night.

 **A/n: please comment**


	21. Chapter Twenty: Sanctuary

**CHAPTER TWENTY:**

As we stare at the beautiful stars my phone buzzes and that grabs Christian's attention, "We should get inside it is getting cold." Christian stands up and holds out his hand to help me up.

I shyly smile as I stand next to him, it has been an amazing night and for the first time I feel like things might actually work out between us.

Even though he likes to hide it, I know he is a very romantic guy. I have never had anyone do something like this for me. The last guy I liked tried to rape me, so this is very sweet.

"How about some hot apple cider?" He asks as we walk inside the house.

I nod my head, "I just need to use the ladies' room first." I smile and head up the stairs and to the bathroom. I grab my cell phone from the back pocket of my jeans and check for any messages. I'm surprised when I don't see any text from Paisley. Then I see a voicemail. I immediately listen to it.

"Good afternoon Miss Campbell, I'm calling from the Harvard financial office. We got your acceptance to the program, but we haven't received the payment for the down payment to save your spot. If we do not receive it in the next 10 days, we'll take it as you are no longer interested in attended Harvard University. We hope that isn't the case and we hear from you soon. Thank you and take care."

I hang up the phone and I'm freaking out. I'm about to lose my spot to the school of my dreams. I walk back and forth and realize that I have the money from the paintings maybe it is enough to save my spot.

I quickly sneak out of the bathroom and head to the room where I stayed. I left my purse there and I need to see how much money I have. Grabbing my purse, I immediately dump everything out on the bed and grab the envelop Nick gave me. I count and count until I am satisfied.

I relax when I see I have enough for the down payment, but I still need to figure out how I'm going to pay the rest. I know I don't have very much time, but now that things are working out with Christian I might be able to speed things up and get what I'm looking for.

I put my money away and inhale and exhale. Christian doesn't even image what is about to come his way.

* * *

"It smells delicious." I tell Christian as I walk into the kitchen. He smiles and finishes pouring apple cider into the cups. He looks so handsome in the low-lit room and I can't stop staring at him.

Christian hands me my cup, "Be careful it is hot."

"Thank you." I shyly smile and follow him to the living room where he has started a fire.

"You have a beautiful home."

"Thank you, this is my safe heaven." He tells me, and I can tell he really means that.

"Do you come here often?" I ask wanting to learn more about him.

"Yes. This is where I get most of my work done." He tells me between sips of his drink.

"You get to work from home?" I ask curious.

"I only work from home." He sounds a little uncomfortable with this conversation.

"Why is that?"

"I just do." He answers me with irritation in his voice.

"But why?" I ask again.

"Just drop it Anastasia I don't want to talk about it." He murmurs.

"Why don't you like talking about your life?" I ask a bit irritated. I have been trying to get to know him but he is making it difficult.

"There isn't much to know about me."

"I bet the difference. You seem so interestingly mysterious."

"Trust me I'm not."

"Fine prove me wrong."

He stays quiet gazing at me, telling me to drop this conversation with his eyes. "You don't want to know about me."

"I do actually. Why are you so afraid to open up to me?"

He stands up and begins to walk away, "Because you are too innocent to hear my life story." With that he walks out of the room leaving me confused, but not for long. I stand up and follow him.

"That's where you are wrong." I shout, "I'm not some innocent girl."

"You saying that doesn't make you not innocent." he doesn't turn around to look at me when he says that.

"STOP." I yell, "Look at me when you are speaking to me." I'm angry and tired of his games.

He stands still and soon he is facing me, "So not only are you an innocent little girl, you are a bratty one, who can't take a no." he yells at me with anger in his eyes. I back away scare at the look on his face. I have pushed him too far. His face rapidly changes when he notices my fear. He tries to come close to me, but I back away again.

He runs his hand through his hair "I will have someone take you back to the city tomorrow. Don't worry I'm not going to come near you. I'm sorry if I scared you." With that he storms out of the room and I'm finally believing he is too damage for me.

 **A/n: Hello everyone, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please comment.**


	22. Chapter Twenty-One: Into the blue

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:**

"Are you ready?" Christian's assistant Simon asks me as I remain standing outside of Christian's cottage.

I ignore him as I watch the light brown curtains of Christian's room move and I know he is watching me, in spite of this I don't go back inside. After last night I can't help feeling irritated. I should of had known he was too damaged for me. If only I had listened to him when he told me to stay away. Why do I attract trouble guys? First Henry and now Christian.

"Anastasia?" Simon calls to me again.

"Yes, I'm coming." I glare at the window where Christian was standing one last time and walk away.

Without another thought I get into the car with a broken heart. How can I be so hurt? I barely know this man. I shake my head and attempt to get Christian out of my mind, at least for right now.

"Where would you like me to take you?" Simon inquires, and I stay quiet for a minute thinking where to go from here. Perhaps I could go back to Paisley's?

"Can you drop me off at my friend Paisley's house?" I ask him.

He nods his head, "Of course."

"Thank you." I smile politely and then lay my head against the window.

"Anastasia, I know this is not my place, but don't give up on him."

I stare at him thinking of what he just said. "It is hard not too when he won't let me in."

He doesn't turn to look at me. He continues to look ahead to the road. "He has been through a lot."

"I keep hearing that, but he won't open up to me about it." I state irritated.

"I shouldn't be talking to you about this." He slows down the car and pulls to the side of the road. "But you are the first woman he has brought around for a long time. I don't know much either, but my girlfriend grew up in this town and went to the same high school as Christian."

"And?" I want him to hurry and tell me what he knows.

Simon looks out the windows as if making sure no one hears him. "there was a school tradition where a junior got invited to one of the cool kids private parties. Everyone wanted to be picked because it meant they would become the most popular Junior in school. Christian didn't care much about that, what he cared about was Ruby a senior who he fall in love with. Yet, Ruby had a jerk boyfriend who could see that Christian wanted her and he didn't like that. I don't really know a lot aside from what my girlfriend told me, but something went wrong at the party."

"What went wrong at the party?" I jump off my seat needing to know more.

"I honestly don't know exactly what happened, but it has to do with his scars." He adds.

"please I know you know more." I plead for him to help me understand Christian better.

"I swear that's all I know. I shouldn't even be talking about this with you. I don't want to lose my job." He panics.

"You are not going to lose your job." I touch his hand. "Can I use your phone?" I ask as mine is out of battery.

Simon nods his head and hands it to me and I dial Paisley. I know I need to give Christian space and I need to think about everything that happened today. I also need to think about what Simon told me. After everything Christian has gone through I can't continue with my plan. I'm going to have to find the money for Harvard somewhere else.

* * *

I knock on Paisley's house door and wait patiently for her to open up but begin to get frustrated when she doesn't open up, "Paisley?" I'm glad when she finally opens the door and I see her. I smile as she is the first familiar face I have seen in two days.

"Anastasia where have you been?" she rushes to me and hugs me. "I have been so worried."

"I'm fine." I pull away and shyly smile.

"Come inside." We walk inside and head up to her room. "Where were you?"

I flop on her bed, "I was with Christian."

"What, you stayed with him?" She looks shocked.

"Yes. It's a long story." I admit.

"Start from the beginning." She tells me sitting next to me and I begin to tell her everything that happened.

* * *

"Good morning are you ready to go back to school?" Happy Paisley asks and I hate that she is this happy in the morning.

"No I don't want to see Henry."

"He has been saying nasty things about you." Paisley lets me know what I already knew would happen.

"I'm not surprised." I murmur.

"Well I still think you should press charges for what he tried to do to you." Angry she tells me.

I get off the bed and begin to look for my clothes in my beg. "I just need to finish high school and move on from what happened."

"I don't understand why you are letting him get away with it?"

"I'm over it and I will soon be gone and will never see him again." I tell her irritated and over this conversation. "I just want the next few weeks to go by fast so I can graduate and turn eighteen."

"That's right your birthday is coming up!" Paisley gets all excited. "We are celebrating big!" She adds.

"I don't know if I even want to do something."

"ANASTASIA… No, you are not going to sit at home and do nothing. We are going out and enjoying the night."

"I don't have anything to celebrate. I'm going to become an adult as I'm homeless with no money for school."

"Stop being so negative. You know you can stay here as long as you need to."

"Thanks, but I'm sure your parents are going to feel different about that." I laugh knowing my time here is limited.

"I don't care what my parents want. You are like the sister I never had, and you are staying here." She firmly tells me.

I smile, "I'm so glad I have you through all of this."

"And I'm always going to be here for you." She smiles back at me. "Now go get dress if not we are going to be late for school."

I stick my tongue out, "Is not like I even want to be there."

"Well too bad, you are stuck going until graduation."

I grab my clothes and head to the bathroom as I know she is right. In one month, I will be done with this chapter of my life.

 **A/n: please comment:)**


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two: Malibu

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: CHRISTIAN'S P.O.V**

Angry, I wake up to the memories of last night. I shouldn't have said what I said to Anastasia and now I can't take it back. I stay quiet as I hear movement outside of my room and I know it must be her.

I get off my bed and head to the window. I look out with guilt. Why did I bring Anastasia here? I attempt to hide behind the curtains as to keep myself hidden from her view. I should stop looking at her... I should stop the desire I feel. But I can't, I need her. I want her. Somehow, she speaks to my soul like no one else has. I barely know her and all I can do is think about her. I barely know her and all I crave is her presence. I punch at the wall with desperation. I need to forget her and never think about her... I fight the urge not to change my mind and run to her.

I decide to take advantage of this moment and stare at her for the last time. I admire Anastasia as she walks towards Simon's car.

Her hair is a lovely whisky, the color of fallen leaves browned and sleek with the first rain of autumn. I watch as it moves with the wind and pray for her to turn around and give me a glance of her beautiful face for the last time. I want to be able to remember it for years to come every time I close my eyes.

I smile when she turns around giving me one last look of her beautiful face.

Her emotions are not easily hidden on her innocent face. Her pain is evident in the crease of her lovely brow and the down-curve of her full peach lips. I fight my body from moving and running out of the house and taking her in my arms.

I continue to look at her and my eyes catch her eyes, her beautiful hazel eyes show her soul. Dark and dangerous just like mine. I hide behind the curtains not wanting her to know I am watching her. Yet, I'm too late and I know she has seen me.

I reach for my phone in my pocket and dial Simon. "Get her out of her." That's all I say before I hang up. I can't keep being tempted by her presence.

I regret the moment I listen to my friend Thomas. I should have never joined that website: cryptic messages. I did it out of loneliness. Boredom. I had decided to delete it the exact moment I joined it. Yet, a picture stopped me. Anastasia's picture.

It wasn't how revealing the picture was that caught my eye. It was the pain behind her eyes that sparked interest. She acted all confident, but all I could see was how damage she is. There is a lot about her that I don't know and I know I will never get the chance to do so. She is far too young for me and after what happened with the last person I fell in love with, I'm not willing to risk it.

I take a last glimpse outside and walk away from the window feeling a pain I can't explain.

* * *

I grab my cell phone and check for any missed calls one more time, but there is none. Simon was supposed to call as soon as he was done dropping off Anastasia. It has been a few hours and I'm pacing back and forth like a cage lion. I need to know she is safe and more importantly I need to know where he dropped her.

I dial again, and it rings and rings, until his voice finally comes on. "Why haven't you answer my calls... you were supposed to call the minute you dropped her off."

"I'm sorry, she was still in the car when you called. I just dropped her off." he tells me and I'm not as mad any more.

"Where did you drop her off?" I ask needing to know.

"I dropped her at her friend's house. I will send you the address in a text."

"Alright. Thank you, Simon."

"Do you need anything else Christian?" Simon asks.

"Yes, can you arrange a car for me. I'm coming back to the city."

"Very well, I will have one there for you first thing tomorrow morning." he answers me

"Good. I will call you once I'm in my apartment. There is few things we need to arrange for the meeting with my father." I advise him. He knows how frustrating it is when it comes to my father.

"I will see you tomorrow." he says, and I can hear the worry in his voice. My father is not a very friendly man.

I hang up the phone and I immediately receive Simon's message with Anastasia's address. I gaze at the wall and wonder what she is doing right now.

 **A/n: please comment.**


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three: I bring me

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:**

As we approach the school I gaze out anxious. I'm restless to confront everybody after what occurred at Henry's gathering. Despite the fact that he should be the one stressed to see me after what he did to me. He is fortunate he isn't in jail after he tried to rape me.

"I can't do this... just let me out right here and I will figure out where to go." I admitted too scared.

"Relax, it will be alright." Paisley tells me as she can tell I'm freaking out. "You need to stay strong and remember we only have a few weeks left."

I nod my head, "You are right." I tell Paisley as she parks the car.

"Plus, if Henry tries to do anything I will kick his ass." Paisley jokes and we both laugh. She is great at distracting me from my problems.

"Alright, are you ready?" She asks with compassion in her eyes.

"As ready as I will ever be." I admit. We get out of the car and face my biggest nightmare.

I take a deep breath before I take the first step inside of the school. I am glad Paisley is beside me or I would turn around and leave.

"Oh no, I forgot my English book." Paisley says, "I'm going to go get it. I will be right back."

"No wait don't leave me." Scared I tell her.

"I will be two seconds Anastasia, I will meet you at your locker." She reassures me.

I nod my head, "Don't take too long please."

"I won't." She smiles and runs back out towards the parking lot.

I begin to walk towards my locker. I feel like I'm in a horror movie and the bad guy is hiding waiting to scare me any minute. I jump when I hear the girl next to me drop her books very loudly. But relax when I arrive at my locker, knowing I have made it here and all I need to do now is grab my books and head to class. I am thankful that Henry doesn't have any of my classes or today would be even worst.

I hold my breath when I feel someone next to me, but I suspect it might just be Paisley. However, my face goes pale when it isn't.

"Well look who decided to show her face!" Henry yells standing beside my locker. I ignore him hoping he will get bored and move on. "Bitch are you deaf?"

He moves closer to me, "I'm going to make your life hell."

I continue to ignore him not once looking at him. I open my locker and grab what I need never looking back hoping Henry will get the hint and leave me alone.

"Hello, is there anyone in there." He laughs tapping on my head with a finger.

I have had enough, "No. I'm not deaf, leave me the hell alone Henry." I open my locker and he continue to stand near me. I'm shacking but I don't want him to notice my discomfort, so I hold back my fear.

"You should have never had came back. You are going to regret what you did to me slut."

"Drop it Henry, if anyone can make your life hell is me. All I have to do is press charges for attempt rape."

He stays quiet for a minute and then he laughs, "B*tch, you have nothing on me and if you are smart you will keep to yourself about what happened." With that he closes my locker and looks into my eyes attempting to intimidate me. He stands like that for a while and I'm glad when he finally walks away leaving me breathing hard.

"Are you okay?" Paisley rushes to me and hugs me. I finally let the tears out.

"I will be okay, he is just trying to scare me." I try to reassure myself.

"Are you still sure you don't want to call the cops?" She asks.

"I told you I'm not going to do that." I clear my tears.

"Fine, but Henry is not one to drop stuff like this." She acts like I'm not aware of that.

"Well I hope you are wrong about that and he leaves me alone."

"I hope I am wrong too." She whispers.

When I have finally calmed down we head to English class and I wish for the day to be over soon.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four:Little red dress

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR:**

Every part of my body tenses immensely as my foot takes the first step out of the classroom. I inhale sharply, two more weeks... two more weeks, I repeat to myself in my head. Nothing in my life has brought as much pain as the last week has.

Drifting through the hallway, I tune out everyone. My life has gone to complete shit. Multiple thoughts run through my dark mind. I need a sign... I need help. My gaze comes up for the first time since I left the classroom and see I am close to my locker. I fight the urge to break down right here and crawl into a ball.

"Anastasia," I jump when I hear my name being called and turn around with fear. My heart stops beating fast when I see it is just Paisley.

"You scared me." I tell Paisley looking around to make sure Henry is nowhere near me. I'm angry at myself for letting a man scare me to the point I'm hiding around the school.

I'm glad it is time to go home. I can't get out of here fast enough, even though I don't have a place to even call that and I'm starting to feel unwelcome at Paisley's house.

"Sorry, are you ready to go?" She asks me, and I nod my head. "Meet me at the car." she adds.

I turn back to my locker and retrieve my math and English books. When I have everything I need, I close the locker and walk towards the exit door.

As I walk out of those doors I begin to feel more like myself. At least until I see Henry with his friends standing by his car. This would happen to me with my horrible luck.

I stand for a bit trying to build courage, Paisley's car is in that direction and I have no other choice. I need to walk by them. I beg my legs to move, yet they are refusing to do so.

Inhaling and exhaling I hold my head high as I walk by him after all I didn't do anything wrong. He is the one who should be trying to avoid me. As I walk by I hear them talk about me. However, I don't look back. I continue to walk not letting them get to me.

"SLUT... ANASTASIA IS A SLUT." I hear Henry scream and I feel my blood boil. Still, I continue to walk until I arrive at the car. I get in and visibly relax.

"Are you alright?" Paisley asks.

"Yes, I just need to get out of here."

Paisley inserts the key and we are soon pulling out of the parking lot.

* * *

Paisley and I stare ahead to the steps of her house. There is a white box with a massive black bow neatly placed at the top of the brown steps.

"What is that?" I ask Paisley, but she doesn't answer me, instead she turns off the car and rushes out of it. I follow her to intrigued about the package.

Paisley grabs it and brings it inside the house. She places it on the cherry wood table and we stare at it together. I reach for the little envelope taped on top of the box and open it.

Life should not only be lived, It should be celebrated! Happy Birthday Anastasia.

I smile like a crazy person. I put the card down and open the box. My heart beats fast when I see the beautiful red lace dress. It has an open back and it looks like it hits just above the knee.

Underneath the dress there is a red envelope. I open it in the hopes I will find out who send this. I'm confused when I see an invitation. It is to the release book party of Gothika 2 from one of my favorite writers. Two V.I.P tickets fall out of it and Paisley and I jump like crazy. I'm going to meet my favorite writer. Who could of had done this? They even got the red dress Sofia wears for the Gala Gabriel invites her to in the book.

The tickets are dated for tomorrow which is technically my birthday. I'm excited. I didn't think I would be doing anything for my birthday.

"Who send this to you?" Paisley asks the question I am asking myself.

I continue to look around the box but there is no name... who could have done this? My parents wouldn't be able to afford something like this... There is only one person who could do this. Christian.

"Well who ever send me this is amazing!" I smile, "Are you down to party tomorrow?" I ask her holding the tickets out for her to see.

"Hell yes!" she giggles taking one of the tickets. "Can you believe we are going to meet Elizabeth Johnson? The amazing writer of Gothika."

We both giggle and the thought that Christian could of had done this gives me butterflies.

 **A/n: please comment:)**


	26. Chapter Twenty-Five:Dangerously

**A/N: Hello! I have fixed the chapters so hopefully everything is good now. I hope to the people who just started to read this story that you will take the time to check it out again as a lot of the chapters were missing and you might not understand what's going on now. I'm sorry and I'll make sure I double check from now on when I update. Anyways, I hope you all have an awesome day and enjoy this chapter. Also,** **Italic means it's a dream.**

 **CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE:**

I lay in bed feeling restless. It has been a few days since I have spoken to Christian and I can't deny I miss him. I decide to reach for my cell phone and re-read his messages. I smile as I look back at the things he said to me and stop at the message where he told me he was a monster. I hate that he thinks that. I wish things could be different with him. However, they are not.

Tomorrow is my eighteen birthday and I don't even know where my life is going. I have no money for school, no home to call my own. Perhaps it is time I get a job- after all if I save some money I might be able to attend community college this year.

Putting my cell phone down on the bedside table, I turn off the light and get comfy enough to pass out. I need to rest for the wild day I will have tomorrow. A girl only turns eighteen once. With that in my mind, I close my eyes and let sleep take me.

 _My eyes flick open rapidly as my heart beats to the beat of the clock hanging on the wall. I slowly attempt to get up with no success. The darkness of the room frightens me. I gaze around wondering where the hell I am, with no vain. I am standing in the middle of an empty room with dirty whitish walls. I scream. I cry in pain, but no one helps me._

 _Until I hear two-mans voices._

 _"The slut is awake." I hear their voices, but I can't see anyone. I build up courage and stand up. I need to get out of here. I move towards the brown door and slowly open it. I look side by side in hopes no one is out in the hallway waiting for me. When I'm confident enough about it I make my way out._

 _I run as fast as my legs will let me and soon I come to a stop at a big exit door. I push the double doors open and I smile when I see outside, until I hear the voices again._

 _"Get her... get her now." I hear coming from the bushes surrounding the building._

 _I turn back around and attempt to open the doors again, but they are locked. I close my hands into fist and hit the class part of the doors, but they don't open. Pain stops me from continuing to hit the door and I bring my hands up to my face, so I can see the damage. Blood covers my hands, but that isn't the worst part. My eyes move away from my hands and look at the window in the door and scream with horror._

 _"You are dead bitch." Henry mutters with a wicked smile on his face._

"Anastasia are you alright?" Paisley asks as I push the blankets off my sweaty body.

I don't answer her, I get up and grab my towel, I need a shower and a minute to forget about that awful nightmare I just had.

"Fine, don't answer me. Happy birthday by the way." Paisley tells me, and I finally realize she is holding a cute pink cupcake in her hand and a candle is light up.

"Sorry, thank you." I smile letting the nightmare disappear "I can't believe I'm finally 18." I add. I am legally an adult now, let the fun begin.

"I know, I can't wait to celebrate tonight." She giggles like a crazy girl, "We are going to have so much fun. I still can't believe we are going to meet Elizabeth Johnson."

I nod my head knowing she is right. "I still want to know who send me that box."

"Does it really matter?" Paisley asks me.

"Yes... No." I giggle. "Who ever send it to me is awesome though... I'm still hoping it was Christian." I admit.

"Yeah... now hurry up and blow this candle or we are going to be late for school missy." She sticks her tongue out and I quickly make my wish and blow the candle.

* * *

When I'm finally ready I head down to the kitchen and I'm surprise to see Hannah, Paisley's mother. She is barely ever home at this time of the day as her job is very demanding.

"Happy birthday Anastasia," Hannah says smiling at me.

"Thank you." I shyly answer, I have always been shy around Paisleys parents and today is not different.

"So, what are you girls up to tonight?" She asks looking at me and Paisley.

"You know the usual, dinner and stuff." Paisley answers her mom and I nod my head. If only she knew we are hitting a book release party tonight.

"Now that you mention dinner you should really go see your parents Anastasia. Your mother would love to spend your birthday together."

"I would rather not." I shortly answer.

"I think it is time you fix things with your family." She adds.

"I don't think there is a way we can ever fix things." I admit wishing she would drop it.

"I don't want to sound rude or make you feel unwelcome, but I think it is time you move back home."

"Mom!" Paisley yells at her mother.

"I'm sorry Paisley, but she needs to fix this with her parents and move back home."

"No mom, she doesn't have to do that." Paisley raises her voice and I can see she is getting angry.

"It's okay Paisley I know I can't stay here forever, don't worry, I will be out of here by the end of the weekend." with that I head up to Paisley's room and grab my school stuff. I knew I couldn't stay here forever, now I need to find somewhere to live.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Six:If it makes you happy

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX:**

When I arrive at school Miss Flin the school guidance counselor stops me before I can get to my locker. Miss Flin is a good-looking woman- a tall, good-looking woman. She wears her short, brown, perfectly styled hair like a very sophisticated woman. She's dressed in a gray pale dress. Her clothes look expensive- too expensive for a high school guidance counselor.

"Anastasia please come into my office." She says.

I want to say no but I do what she says not wanting to get into trouble.

"Please have a seat." She points towards the black cheap chair in front of her desk. She looks very serious and I know she is going to be grilling me about my missing school days.

"I don't have a lot of time before class starts." I say not taking a seat. I don't want to have to deal with her now after the morning I have been having with Paisley's mom asking me to go back home.

"It will only take five minutes." She insists, and I know she isn't going to let me go.

I do the last thing I want to be doing and sit down. "So, what is this about?"

"Anastasia, I have spoken to your parents about your missing school days and they have explained to me that you left home?" She asks as if she didn't know already the answer.

"I know I shouldn't have missed school and I'm trying to catch up now." I let her know in hopes she will let me go now.

"Anastasia I'm glad to hear you are back at school and catching up. Mostly because this is your final year and if you want to graduate you can't fail any class."

"I understand and trust me, I want to graduate and leave this place, so I will do everything I can to do so." I admit.

"Good, now to the other issue. I really think you should go home and work things out with your parents." She crosses her arms and looks at me.

I nod my head wanting this to be over. I will say anything at this point to get her to let me go. Even if I don't mean it.

"Great, I'm so happy to see that you have thought this through and know this is the best for you." She smiles at me and I hold back my eye roll.

"Yes, I have definitely thought about everything and I'm ready to get back to my life." I tell her like a good girl, "So I better get to class now."

"Yes, of course Anastasia. It was nice talking to you. Remember if you need anything my door is always open."

I smile politely and head out of her office wanting to scream my lungs out.

* * *

When I arrive to class my teacher Mrs. James gives me a dirty look as I'm late. I try to ignore her and take my seat.

"Today we will be starting the final project." Mrs. James tells us as she hands out an instruction page. "This will be a group project, between two people."

I turn around as she says that and tell Paisley she is my partner. She nods her head in agreement, but Mrs. James soon crushes our bubble.

"I will randomly pick groups so stop looking at your friends."

We all 'boo' and pout annoyed. This should be a project you can do with your friend as it is the last one and who knows you might never see them again after they go off to college. But I presume Mrs. James is doing it on purpose, she is a witch. I will not miss her once I graduate.

"Be quiet everyone." The teacher yells to get our attention. "I will be posting the list at the end of the class and you have one week to finish this assignment. It is twenty percent of your final grade. Each group will get a world problem and you will teach it to the class."

I look at Paisley and I can see she is feeling like I am. Why the hell is this teacher giving us a project with the end of the school year coming? I shake my head annoyed hoping I don't get stuck with someone I don't like.

"Now let's get started on what you will need to do." the teacher says, and I want the class to be over already.

An hour later we are finally done. I grab my books and head towards the line that is now formed at the front of the classroom. I wait for my turn to see who my partner will be. When the way has finally cleared I look for my name and pray I have a good partner. I read the list twice before I find my name. I move my finger to the name beside mine and my heart almost comes out of my chest as I read the name.

 _Joseph_

Hell no, I'm stuck with Joseph... Henry's best friend. I already know he is going to make this very hard for me after all I did kick his best friend on the balls.

* * *

Three awful hours later we are finally sitting in one of the cafeteria tables. Paisley is sitting in front of me eating cheese fries.

"So, have you thought about tonight?"

"What about it?" I ask confused.

"Well how are you doing your hair?" she gazes at me like I should know this already.

"I was thinking since I have the red dress that Sofia wears in the chapter where Gabriel takes her to a Gala that I can curl my hair and make it wavy. I want to look like Sofia for sure." I tell Paisley and we both giggle with excitement.

"You're going to look great." She says and I'm wanting the night to come already.


	28. Chapter Twenty-Seven: Fallin

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN:**

I stared at myself in the heart shape mirror and smiled. My hair had been curled by Paisley and it was down in a lose curl. The burgundy red dress that was send to me looks beautiful on me, it is lacy and very sexy, and it fits my body like a glove. I'd decided to pair it with black wedges and my diamond heart chain which was given to me by my grandfather. I miss him so much today, I know if he was still alive that he would be helping me now. Nevertheless, I'm thankful to have this to remember him and it makes the outfit come together.

"Are you almost ready?" Paisley inquires as she grabs her shoes and handbag from her closet. She is wearing a white silky dress that has a neck opening far too revealing.

"Give me two more minutes." I tell her as I'm just finishing getting ready.

"Alright but hurry, we need to leave soon if we are going to make it." She tells me walking towards the doorway.

I admire myself for one more minute and fix my hair for the last time. I quickly grab my phone and find Christian's number. I want to text him and tell him I miss talking to him. Yet, I don't he told me to stay away and that's what I'm going to do. I put the phone back in my purse and take a deep breath. I can't believe I'm about to meet my favorite author.

I giggle excited for the first time in a while. I wonder who had send me the box with the tickets and dress for tonight? Deep inside I hope it was Christian. But what if it wasn't him and this is a set up? I seek to get that out of my mind. Tonight, is my night. No Christian drama, no Henry drama and especially no parents' drama.

I Apply more red lipstick and put it in my purse. Taking one last look I head out of the room.

When I walk downstairs Paisley is waiting in the living room. Her purple hair is up into a classy ponytail and her makeup looks amazing. "Are you ready to party?" She asks me the moment she sees me.

"Hell yes!" I shout, and I know tonight is going to be a good night.

* * *

The moment we arrive in front of the address printed on the invitation my heart beats fast. This can't be a coincidence. I stare at the tall beige building that is the Ace Hotel. I can't stop thinking about Christian and the nickname he used on his Cryptic messages profile.

"Are you sure we have the correct address?" Paisley asks me as we get out of the taxi. We are both looking at it in shocked. "Wait didn't Christian called himself Ace?"

I nod my head. If I had any hesitation of this being done by him - it is gone now. "Yes, I'm sure of it. I have double checked the address." I grab the envelope out of my handbag again and check one more time. "Yes, this is the address." I tell her feeling my body shake with anxiety and excitement to see Christian. "You think Christian invited us?"

"I really think he did." Paisley smiles at me.

"Maybe I shouldn't go in." I tell her too nervous.

"Anastasia, we can't leave without meeting the wonderful writer of Gothika." Paisley pouts and pleas for me to not walk away from this.

I know she is right, this is a once in a life time experience. "Fine, let's go in before I change my mind.

I stare at the black doors of the Ace hotel and decide to walk in. As we walk inside the hotel I hope that I'll be able to see Christian before he sees me. I also wonder if he will in fact show up as this is too public for him. When we arrive inside my eyes take in the beautiful hotel the theme is dark colors-red, black. Something inside me really digs this place. It isn't overly classy, and it feels young. Paisley leads the way and we walk towards the party room where the party is being held.

Before we can walk through the doors we are stopped by two man with a clipboard in their hands.

Intimidated, I stand by one of them, "Hi, we are here for the book release party." I whisper. However, he hardly even looks at me.

"Name?"

"Anastasia Steele." I say, hoping he isn't going to make matters difficult.

"Show him the invite." Paisley murmurs.

But soon his attitude is changing "Welcome Miss Steele, we have been expecting you, please go in." he signals for the other man and the doors open.

What does he mean they have been expecting me? I'm confused and a bit frightened. Not knowing what to do, I take Paisley's hand and we walk in.

It is beautiful, I can hear the music coming from inside and it makes me uneasy. I'm so glad Paisley is here with me.

As we walk inside a red and black theme surrounds every area. There are white cylinders in the room which give it an edgy look. I gaze at the big A letter in the wall which is placed in the middle of the room and I smile thinking about the name Ace. There are big red comfy couches placed on the left side of the room and black tables on the left.

Then I see the poster beside a table which has books placed neatly on it. I smile and stare at it. It is amazing. It is Sofia from Gothika wearing the exact dress I am wearing.

"This is amazing," I tell Paisley and she agrees.

"I hope we can get a signed copy of the book." She says, and I agree with her.

As we walk around the room a server walks by us and Paisley reaches in for two flutes of bubbly. "Happy birthday." We cheer and joke. "Hey, we should find out if Christian did invite you."

"Yes, but how are we going to manage that?"

"I have an idea." She alleges, I follow her until we are around a group of people. Paisley and I stand by the circle and we listen for a bit.

"I can't believe how much Mr. Grey spend on this party." the one blonde tells the brunette.

Paisley looks at me and mutters, "Mr. Grey?"

"That's Christian's last name." I whisper to her.

"I know this book means a lot to him, but this is too much no?" they both say judgmentally.

"You know I did hear he is trying to take over his father's company in London." The blonde says.

"I'm surprise he is, he never really shows his face." The other woman says to the blonde. "I feel bad for him." She adds, and all I want to do is yell at her for judging Christian.

"Those awful scars-" The blond adds, and I had enough I walk closer to them and I begin to say something, but I'm stopped by a tap on the shoulder. Slowly turning around a smiling Simon looks at me.

"I'm going to go find a server, I need another drink." Paisley shakes her empty flute. With that she leaves me alone with Simon.

"Hi, Anastasia. "

"Simon."

"Are you alright?" he asks, and I don't know if I should lie or admit that I was about yell at these women.

"I just need some fresh air." I go for the lie.

"Great me too! I'll come out with you." he smiles.

Great, now I have to talk to him.

"I'm so glad you got my package." he tells me as we walk down to the path and towards the trees. "The dress looks beautiful on you."

"You send the package?" I ask confused.

"Yes, I'm glad you came."

"Why did you send me the package?" I ask wanting to know.

"Christian had arranged this for you but told me to cancel it. I didn't listen to him because you are the only one who can stop him from leaving." he looks sad as he says that.

"What are you talking about?"

"He is moving to London,"

"What? does he know I'm here?" I inquire.

"No." he admits and now I feel more stupid.

"I need to get out of here." I rush pass him, but he follows me.

"Don't leave like this Anastasia. At least talk to him. I know you two belong together."

I turn around and face Simon, "No Simon you don't know that. Christian asked me to stay out of his life and I am doing that. You have no right to intervene and it sure is not in your job description." I hiss and that seems to hurt him.

"Sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing." he runs a hand through his hair.

"Well you didn't." I yell irritated.

"Well I can't change what I did now. I'm sorry again." with that Simon begins to walk back inside the hotel, but soon stops and turns, "I hope you change your mind because you two are meant to be. You do know he did all of this for you because he knew how much you like this author. Why do you think he did it on the day of your birthday?" when he is done telling me he disappears into the hotel and I'm left with a decision to make.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Eight: Before you leave

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: CHRISTIAN'S P.O.V**

Anxiety consumes my body as I watch out the window of my room and see all the people arriving for the Gothika release party. I know I need to go downstairs and mingle with the guest as I'm the publisher, but I hate having to be around people. The way they stare at me and pity me because of my scars overwhelms me with anger. My eyes continue to gaze out the window until I see the last person I thought I would see tonight.

Anastasia.

"SIMON!" I shout for him as loud as I can and waited. He had lots of explaining to do.

He rushed into my room with a pale face. I should fire him for what he has done. "Did you send Anastasia the package?" I ask furious.

"The package?" He asks like he doesn't know what I am talking about.

"Yes, the package... the one I asked you not to send anymore." I yell again. He stays quiet, and I want to scream at him more, but I don't. "You need to get her out of here now."

"How am I going to do that?" He asks confused.

"I don't know, you need to figure that out."

"I guess ill figure something." He tells me, and I can't stop staring at Anastasia. She is staring at the hotel with awe. I know she is thinking about the nickname I used on the website we met. "I'm sorry Christian, I will fix this." Simon tells me and begins to walk towards the door, but I stop him.

"Wait, don't tell her anything." I tell him wanting to see her for one last time. I will be moving to London soon and I will never see her again. "Make sure she gets everything she wants and ill be downstairs in a bit." I add, and he nods his head and walks out. I need to prepare myself to see the woman who has hunted my dreams.

~•~•~

When I arrive at the party I make sure to stand at the corner of the room behind one of the red booths, so no one can see me until I'm ready. My eyes wonder in search for Anastasia until they find her. I can't take my eyes off her. She'd become some kind of twisted obsession for me. I had fought it but found myself unable to resist her powerful lure. I was not fighting it any longer. The fact that she was here, and of age meant something to me. I sipped on my glass of scotch and watched as she giggles with her friend- who I had never met before.

I watched as Anastasia's gaze swept the room, her brow furrowed in concentration as if she searched for someone. A server stopped and offered her a flute of champagne, and she took one of the elegant, long-stemmed glasses but she didn't put it to her mouth. I was glad. I want her completely clear for when I approach her.

The burgundy red dress Simon had sent her drew attention to her long smooth legs, and I damn sure didn't want anyone else looking. Oh boy where man looking. She had drawn the attention of others. They stared—like I was. Like a hungry lion waiting for its next pray. She is wearing a cute diamond heart shape chain and diamond studs adorned her ears. Seeing her here is one more step in the inevitable direction of her being mine. She didn't know it yet, but I had waited long enough. I endured enough time feeling like the worst criminal for lusting after her. When she'd turned eighteen, it had marked a huge difference in the way I viewed her, but I am twenty-three and I know I'm still five years too old for her.

I drain my drink and place it on the tray of a by passing waiter and retrieve a new fresh drink. I need alcohol courage if I'm going to make it tonight.

~•~•~

 **Anastasia's P.O.V:**

I stand outside the Ace hotel and attempt to decide my next move. I can text Paisley and leave right now and never see Christian again or I can go back inside and find him. My heart is telling me to do so, but my brain is saying no. He is too damaged for me. Irritated I pace back and forth trying to decide.

Screw it... I rush into the hotel with my heart beating fast. If I don't take the chance I might regret it.

When I arrive back at the party a server offers me a flute of champagne and I gladly take it. Yet, before I can drink it Paisley catches up to me.

"Where did you go?" She asks.

"I went outside for some fresh air." I tell her not wanting to get into the whole Christian situation right now.

"I have been waiting for you, so we can meet Elizabeth Johnson." She tells me pointing towards the table that is set up with her books and poster. Elizabeth is standing near it laughing with a couple of people and I smile totally ready to meet her and ask her all the questions I have about her book.

I bring my flute to my mouth and drink it to the last drop. I turn and look at Paisley and she smiles back at me. "Ready?" I ask her.

"Hell yes!" She giggles, and we make our way to Elizabeth.

I take a long deep breath as we approach her. I'm feeling nervous and I need to get ready to ask her all my questions. A few seconds later my feet come to a halt and my gaze raises; which makes my smile disappear immediately.

Christian

I turn to my left and see a surprised Paisley which confirms that I'm not imagining things and it is Christian who is standing in front of me.

"Anastasia?" Christian says, and my eyes never leave him. He is wearing a black suit which takes my breath away. He is as handsome as they come.

"Christian." I whisper his name. Christian's gaze skims over me and it is so hot that I almost expect my clothes to start catching fire. But no, this doesn't feel right this is the man who said he didn't even want to be friends with me.

Christian takes his gaze away from me for a second, "You'll have to excuse me for a second." He tells the people he was just talking to and grabs my arm leading me a few feet away from them.

"What are you doing here Anastasia?" He asks and I'm not sure I should tell him Simon had invited me.

I avoid his question and ask my own, "I heard your moving to London." I try to keep the sadness in as I say it. "I will miss you." I'm not sure if I say it to fill the silence of me ignoring his other question or because I mean it.

"Don't." He lifts his eyes to meet mine and shakes his head. "You shouldn't think about me at all... You shouldn't be here."

I back away and fold my arms to cover my chest, "That's the last thing you want to say to me?" I know he can see the anger in my eyes.

"What do you want me to say?" Taking a step forward he reaches for me but drops his hand before making contact.

I can see so much in his eyes-- heartache, affection, attraction.

"I want you to be honest with yourself and tell me that you will miss me too."

He stays quiet and I have had enough. I ascend towards the doors that will lead me to the lobby. When I reach the door, I focus on putting one foot in front of the other and moving in the direction of the main entrance. I'm ready to leave this place.

"Wait." the sound of Christian's voice is like a strong string around my heart, tugging me backward.

I turn and see pain in his face. I walk back the few steps back and I'm face to face with him again. He slides his hand up my arm. It's not the first time he has touched me, but it sure feels different. It feels gentler and caring.

He is still for a moment, his warm fingers unmoving while my heart pounds so hard I'm sure he can hear it over the music playing around us. He takes me by the hand and leads me to the stairwell of the hotel. When the doors to the stairwell close he pushes me against the wall. His eyes drop to my mouth, and his lips part. I'm afraid to breathe. Afraid to blink and miss something. I don't want to ruin this moment or ever forget it.

"You want me to be honest?"

I nod my head feeling overwhelmed by him.

"Of course I want you... I want you so badly I'm going crazy. You are like a drug that I need to stay away from, but that I can't stop thinking about and craving."

His broad chest rises on a long inhale, and his eyes stay glued to my lips. With every second that passes, the pulling around my heart draws tighter.

"I want to take your sexy dress off and admire every inch of you." he whispers into my ear like if the words are to personal for anyone else to hear. "You look so beautiful."

Mustering all of my courage, I lift my chin and tilt my face ever so slightly towards his. He squeezes his eyes shut, and I think he lowers his head, but the movement is so slight that I can't be sure. When he exhales, his breath brushes across my lips. It's the sweetest thing I've ever felt. The moment I'm convinced he's going to kiss me is the moment he backs away. "I won't kiss you here, not like this."

I want to lift my hand to my mouth, to run my fingertips across my lips and sooth the pain of his rejection. I keep my chin up, refusing to let him see what he just did to me. How he is making me feel.

"Come with me." He holds his hand out for me and I look at it for a minute. Scared, I take the devil's hand and follow him out the stairwell.

"I can't leave, I came here with my friend." I tell him as we lead us out of the stairwell and to the lobby.

"I will make sure she gets home safe." he tells me, but I feel bad. I need to see her and tell her what's going on. Plus, I came to meet Elizabeth Johnson. Yet, this might be the last time I see Christian and I really want to go with him.

"Can I tell her I'm leaving with You?" I ask.

"Of course. I have some stuff I need to take care of before we leave so how about you meet me outside when you are ready." he kisses my hand so gently.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask really wanting to know. He is so bipolar. He is nice then mean and then nice again.

"It's called manners," he answers, and we are back to rude.

Can he stop jumping back and forth either he wants me, or he doesn't.

"Fine. I will be out in a minute." I tell him and make my way to find Paisley.

I walk around until I see her standing by the bar. She is flirting with the bartender and I'm not surprised.

"Paisley."

"Anastasia... the birthday girl." she hugs me, and I can tell she is tipsy. I can't leave her here like this.

"Come on, I'm taking you home." I take her hand, but she lets go off my hand.

"No, I'm not ready to go yet." she turns back around and begins to once again flirt with the guy.

I roll my eyes annoyed. I can't leave her like this and Christian is waiting for me. I grab her by the arm and pull her close to me. "Christian is waiting for me... Simon, Christian's assistant is going to take you home when you are ready please behave."

She smiles at me, "Ok, I need details, but I will wait until tomorrow. I'm fine I promise. Have fun."

Giving her a hug, I make my way out of the house. I know Paisley is going to have a good time she seems to always find a guy everywhere we go.

Getting that out of my mind I look around wondering where Christian is until I see him come out of a range rover. He comes around and opens the passenger door for me.

I swallow hard and climb into the car. He closes the door behind me, and I buckle my seatbelt as he comes around the front to his side. He cuts a glance at me from the corner of his eyes, as he slides his key into the ignition. The truck comes to life with a rattling growl, and I wonder what the night will bring.

Soon he pulls out onto the road and is heading out of the parking lot without either one of us uttering another word. His silence only adds to my irritation. If he doesn't even have anything to say to me on a short drive, then why are we even in the car together?

I turn my gaze to the window on my side and look out as Christian turns the music on and Malibu by Miley Cyrus comes on and my heart melts. I love this song. However soon I am angry again. Why the hell did he ask me to come with him if he wasn't even going to say anything. I don't even know where we are going. I decide not to overreact and wait and see where the night takes us.

~•~•~

As we pull up to the house, I'm so preoccupied with my anger that I barely register the enormity of the unique black home, he pulls the key from the ignition and takes a deep breath before facing me. "So, you are mad about what happened at the cottage?"

I blink at him, "Are you serious?"

"I meant it when I said you are a brat." His gaze stays on me, but it is brief, nothing like earlier. "I said it and now things are weirder around us."

"Of course, things are weird, but not just because you said that."

He frowns.

"Because you want more than I can offer you." he admits.

I gaped at him. Surely, he can't get ruder now. "I told you that I don't want your pity friendship, and this was what I was talking about. I don't want to be included out of some sense of duty because you feel bad about what happened between us."

"Just because I can't give you what you want doesn't mean I don't feel something for you."

I turn away, it is a beautiful night, and the moon is full and beautiful.

"What is it that you really want?" Christian asks me.

"I want for you to stop holding back and show me your true feelings."

Christian looks at me and arches a brow. "You really want that?"

I nod my head.

"Fine, then come with me." Christian kills the engine and comes around. He opens the door for me and holds out his hand for me to take. "Stop looking like your about to follow the devil."

I take a deep breath and place my hand on his and hope for the best.

 **A/n: please comment**


	30. Chapter Twenty-Nine:Adore you

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE:**

I take Christian's hand and follow him to the door of his house. I'm in awe with this house and I take it all in as he opens the door and lets me walk in first. The theme is black and white with a splash of grays. Christian leads me down the steps that lead to the living room and I am welcome by a big L shape couch which is a dark grey. There is a glass table in the middle under a cute gray carpet.

Then my eyes see my lion's head painting which truly fits this theme. It is dark. Black and white and it makes me smile at the thought that he loved it enough to put it up. As I look at it, Christian heads to the fire place which is placed right across the couch and I'm glad when he turns it on as the night has gotten cold.

I walk towards the big windows that showcase his backyard which is as impressive as the inside.

"Would you like a drink?" Christian asks, and I give him a warm smile in agreement. I don't want to move from where I am right now. I can see the beautiful starts and it makes me think about the first time we spend seeing them.

"What would you like to drink, I have white wine?"

"Anything is fine." I state, and he leaves me for a few minutes. I stay gazing around this picturesque place until I see a black rustic oak log porch swing and I decide to sit on it. I slowly open the door which leads to the backyard and I walk out, hoping he won't be upset by me doing so.

When he comes back I am sitting, and I can see Christian is surprised at my choice of seating place.

"We can go sit inside." he tells me, but I shake my head.

"It is beautiful out here." I tell him swinging back and forth.

Christian hands me my glass of wine and heads back into the house. He soon returns with a blanket. "in case you get cold." he hands it to me and I take it, by accident our fingers touch, and it sends a shiver up my spine.

What the hell is going on with me? I can't be falling for this man. I shake it off for right now.

"Sit down." I move a bit to make room for him. He observes me for a minute and then sits down next to me.

"Is this your house?" I ask very fascinated.

"Yes," he answers very reserved.

"What about the cottage?" I ask needing to know if he has money.

"Yes, that one is mine too." he sounds proud when he says that.

"Oh." I take a sip of my wine and ask him the question I have been wondering, "So why did you bring me here?"

"I brought you here because I wanted the quietness it provides. I really hate parties."

"Then why were you there?" I ask curious.

"Because that is my job. Elizabeth Johnson is one of my authors." He admits.

"Oh, she is?" I ask curious.

"Yes, she is one of my biggest authors and I had to make sure she was happy before I left." He tells me and I'm glad he is opening up to me even if its just about his job.

"So, you are moving to London?" I ask him, and I can't hide the sadness in my voice.

"Yes." he answers, and not once does he make eye contact with me. "How do you know about that?"

"Simon, he told me." I tell him, and I can see he is angry.

"He shouldn't have."

"Please don't fire him. He only wanted us to be able to say goodbye."

"that wasn't his place." he hisses.

"I know it wasn't, but he cares about you." I tell him, and I wish I had never told him about Simon telling me.

"I need a refill," Christian stands up and I stand up wrap the blanket around me and follow him.

"Why does it bother you that people care about you?" I ask, but he doesn't turn around he continues to walk to the house.

"Drop it Anastasia." he yells.

"No. I'm not dropping it." I shout right back.

Christian throws his glass against the side of the house and it smashes into pieces. The noise makes me jump with fear.

He turns around and marches to me. "You need to stop."

"NO." I stand my ground. I need to know why he is like this... I want to know why he is such a jerk.

His faces move close to mine and I can see every detail of his scars. My heart breaks at the pain in his eyes. "I'm not going to stop until you tell me your story." shaking I say.

Christian places his hand on my waist and pulls me in, "I bet I can get you to shut up."

"No, you can't." I make it clear.

"You want to see?" with that he kisses me with such passion, need and raw anger that I release the blanket off my hold and warp my arms around him and let the feeling of his lips take me away.

He pulls away breathing hard. "I need you in my bed right now." he whispers to me.

The tension clasp on me at Christian's bold statement.

"Then take me to your bed." I answer heavy breathing, my heart skipping at the scorching look he ranked me with.

Oh boy... he is gorgeous. Impossibly sexy. Standing there in only a white long-sleeve dressed shirt with the top button undone. His black dressy pants a reminder that we were at a party.

I admire every inch of him. The scars on his face don't take any of his good looks away. He is also leaner than I remember. There isn't an ounce of fat on him, every muscle is clearly, deliciously defined. He is driving me crazy.

I never thought I could ever like a man the way I like him. This soon also, how can I feel something for someone so rude?

He finally speaks. "What did you say?"

I wonder if he knows the impact his low, sexy-voice has on women. "I want you to take me to your bed... but there is something you should know. I have never been with a man."

"What?" He retreated. Shoving his hands through his short copper brown hair, he turned his back at me, "You shouldn't be here then." He sounds confused. "This is not the way you want your first time."

"That's not for you to decide. I'm ready to hand you my body."

"I can barely contain myself back...stop saying things like that." Christian admits. "Nothing has to happen tonight Anastasia."

"But-" I move close to him and touch his back.

He turns around and is once again facing me. "We don't have to go all the way until you are ready." Christian brings his hand up to my neck and I held my breath.

Wrapping my arms around him I bring my mouth to his ear and without really thinking it I say, "Take me to your room."

He doesn't fight me. He takes my hand and we go inside the house. My heart is pounding hard and uncontrollable. I ignore my surroundings and focus on what is about to happen.

Christian soon is opening a door and it is dark. He opens the curtains which bring enough light for me to see him. "Can you get the light?"

"I rather it stays this way." I can't ignore the sadness in his voice.

"Ok." I don't say anything else about the situation. I pull him close to me and kiss him hard and fast. Until we are out of breath.

I back away from his hold and I let my dress slithered down my body. Christian stares at me as I undressed, letting my dress fall to the ground I stand wearing my matching red panty and bra set.

Sucking in air like he'd just run for miles, he devoured me. "If this doesn't make you change your mind then I can get dress and leave."

"You're killing me here, Anastasia." He says.

"Well, it's only fair." My arms lowered to my sides. "I'm dying for you."

Christian strode forward in a controlled rush; his focus was me and his goal was to get me in his bed. As he zeroed in, I tremble, but my gaze didn't waver. When he caught me by the waist in his hands and lifted me, I gasped but didn't fight it.

Instead my arms wrapped around his neck and I buried my face in his throat. He was damp, but I didn't care. I nuzzled against him, my tongue darting out and licking.

Christian laid me in the bed and kissed my lips, then he moves down to my breast and my stomach. He kisses every inch of me until he gets to my panties. I stay still as he begins to pull on them as to get them out of the way, but I freak.

I Push on his chest and sit up, "We shouldn't be doing this." I tell him. I can't do this with a man I'm only talking to for his money. I immediately get off the bed.

"Anastasia, wait."

"No, this is a big mistake. It should of never have happened." I paused, glancing over my shoulder to look at him. Christian stood there, tension radiating off his big body in obvious waves, The expression on his face full of frustration. The unmistakable bulge of his erection showing in his boxers, and I wish for the moment of weakness to go away. All I want is to get back in that bed and beg him to make love to me.

But that will only make things more complicated. He is about to leave for London with no return date. I can't lose my virginity to someone I might never see again.

God, I'm so stupid. What did I almost do?

Turning around I ran away from him. I hurried down the hall and escape into the bathroom, slamming the door and turning the lock with an audible click.

He is banging at the door in minutes, "Anastasia open the door."

I cry. I can't believe how far I have gone. "I'm sorry I just need a minute."

"Please come out so we can talk." He sounds seriously worried.

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and take a look in the mirror. When I look a bit better I open the door and a worried Christian takes me into his arms.

"I'm sorry Anastasia." He kisses my head, "I didn't mean to freak you out." He rubs my back with his hand.

I don't say anything. I can't tell him the real reason I am crying. I can't tell him that I'm using him.

"Come back to bed." He whispers into my ear. "I only want to hold you, nothing more I promise."

I agree and follow him back into the room. He heads to the closet and soon comes back with a t-shirt. He hands it to me and I put it on.

I climb into the bed and soon he follows. He is only wearing his boxers, but it doesn't bother me. He pulls the blanket up to cover us and I turn around letting him cuddle me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"You don't have to be sorry Anastasia." He tells me, and I really appreciate how cool he is being with me. "You need to get some sleep, tomorrow we will talk." he kisses the back of my head and I move closer to him letting the warmth of his body relax me to the point sleep takes over me.


	31. Chapter Thirty: Tell me you love me

**CHAPTER THIRTY:**

I gazed around as the sunlight floods through the bedroom window and glanced down to see that I'm still wearing Christian's t-shirt. I feel so weird and wonderful. I have finally gotten some decent sleep. Maybe it was because Christian slept beside me and no nightmares had tormented me.

"Christian?" I call out while stretching my arms and looking around the room. I wonder where he went?

I swing my legs over the side, stepping down onto the carpet and my bare feet feel the soft rug. This whole room is certainly cozy. Last night I didn't really get a chance to look at it. The room continues with the theme of black, white and gray colors—and it totally goes with Christian's dark and mysterious vibe.

The bed is comfy, and a big black duvet is place on top. There is a big black and grey New York painting above it. I love how many paintings he has.

Walking around I open the closet door and my heart breaks as I see a suitcase in there and nothing more. The memory of him moving comes back to my mind and I wish he would change his mind about moving to London. I want to ask him when is his last day here. I make a mental note to ask Christian about it and close the door.

I head to the bathroom and take care of business. When I'm done I think about what I should do, I don't want to wander around, and I don't want to stay here until Christian comes back. I decide to go downstairs.

Tip-toeing I head out of the room and down the stairs, tilting my head to listen I hear nothing. I walk through the hall and peek out into the living room. But I find it empty. My stomach growls, and the gurgling noise startle me.

I head for the kitchen and come to a halt when I hear male voices coming from the other room. Careful I run into a closet full of jackets and I cracked the door open slightly.

"You need to be in that plane today." A man seethed with a growl.

I try to get closer to see his face better, but I can't. All I can see is that he is the same height as Christian and they have the same hair color.

"You don't have to tell me what I have to do." Christian responds.

The man pulled in a breath. "Don't make me regret my decision."

"You won't. I would rather you leave now, I have a guest." Christian tells him, and the man stays quiet.

Then he laughs, "You have a guest?"

"Is that really hard to believe?" Christian sounds hurt.

"Don't get all defensive. I just have never met any of your lady friends." The older man says. "But, I will leave now." He begins to walk towards the door but stops. "Make that plane in time Christian... I mean it."

With that he walks out of the room and I see anger in Christian's face. He picks up a few bags and is walking towards me.

Christian swung the door open and put away his coat.

I beamed at him while my insides flutter as if butterflies occupied my stomach, another new feeling I never experienced before. Christian has made me feel things I never thought I would in such a short time. I got out embarrassed and trying to come up with a reason to why I was in there. But he doesn't ask.

He closed the door behind me while holding a couple of grocery bags in his arms. Is that where he was, he went to the grocery store?

"Finally awake?" his greeting was flat and emotionless while he walked past me and disappeared into the kitchen. "Want some coffee, maybe breakfast?" he called back.

I felt a severe let down at his unresponsive reaction to me. My heartbeat pounded in my chest and my breath had caught in my throat when I first saw him and when he spoke. He, on the other hand, acted like he always did, detached and distant.

Silently, I followed him into the kitchen to sit at the breakfast bar and decided to mimic his casual approach.

"What have you got there?" I peered at the grocery bags on the counter.

"The whole store, I think. Would you like some pancakes?'

"Yeah, I'm starving." I attempted to keep my answers at a normal tone.

"It will take me a few minutes." He pulls items from the bags.

I set my chin in my hands while I watch him move around the kitchen and I find myself fantasizing about his mouth, hard body and his hot hands on my breast.

Last night things go steamy until I freaked out. I wish I had let him have his way with me. My head swings up as I picture him reaching for me and throwing me against the counter. I giggle at the naughty thoughts.

He turns his head around. "What was that?"

"It was a giggle." A guilty shame of my thoughts crashed over me. "I was just thinking about something."

Christian blinked at me. "What were you thinking about?"

I turn red as a tomato. I quickly come up with something, "Just something my friend Paisley said." I lie.

He poured the bather into the skillet. "Do you want something with the pancakes?"

"Yeah, bacon." I say feeling extremely hungry.

"Coming right up."

"Thanks." I come around to the kitchen side and reach for the coffee pot. I pour more into my cup and add sugar and cream. Christian stares at me while I sip on it.

"What?" I look at him wondering why he is looking at me like that.

He smirks, "You look good with my shirt on."

I look down at myself and see what he is talking about. I'm wearing only his shirt the one that he gave me last night. How did I forget to change before I left the room?

My cheeks turn red... as red as my panties, "Oops I forgot to change."

He laughs. "I don't mind it." He tells me.

I smile at him and go back to the bar stool I was sitting on. "So, who was that man you were arguing with?"

"My father, why did you hide?"

I look down at my coffee, "I wasn't sure you wanted anyone to know I was here."

"I don't mind people knowing you are here... But, it's better this way anyways." he admits.

I nod my head, but I can't stop the hurt showing on my face.

* * *

"Are you ready?" Christian asks me as I grab my purse. I can't help but feel like I'm doing the walk of shame. I'm wearing the red dress from last night and my hair is up into a ponytail as it resembles a bird's nest.

"Yes, I'm ready." I walk behind him towards the front door. When we are outside he opens the car door for me and I like the gentleman side of him.

I stay quiet as he drives not knowing what to say. I know once I get out of this car, I won't see him again. He is leaving for London today and I feel upset, but I can't let him see that.

I need to get over the feelings I am feeling. He is not the man for me, plus with the big secret I'm holding back we would never be able to be. I need to just worry about the money I need.

When we pull into my old house I remember I forgot to tell him I'm not staying here anymore. I actually have no place to go as I can't go back to Paisley's. When I don't see my parents' cars I decide that maybe I can grab more clothes before I go and find a place to stay tonight.

"Are you alright?" Christian asks me, and I nod my head. "I've been worried about you." His brow rose at me.

"What do you mean?"

"I need you to be honest with me."

I stay quiet not knowing what he is talking about.

"You haven't been staying here have you?" he asks me and I don't know what I should say.

"Umm... no." I go for the truth.

"What's going on Anastasia?"

"It's a long story." I add.

"I have time." Christian grew still as he listened. "Tell me everything."

"I got into a huge fight with my parents." Tears flowed down my cheeks. "You see I got into Harvard university and I can't go."

"What do you mean?"

"It has been my dream since I was a little girl to attend Harvard University and my grandpa knew this, so he saved money for me to go to university. When he died I found out that he left me all his money in his will, but my parents spend it."

He reaches for my hand for support, but he doesn't interrupt me.

"I can't go to university now and I got into a fight about it with them. They told me to get over it or move out, so I left. I was staying at my friends house, but her parents don't want me to stay there anymore."

"Oh Anastasia." He reaches over his seat and hugs me.

"So, I pretty much have no future."

"I'm sure there is other options." He tells me.

"What do I do, what can I do?"

Christian looks at me and then at the house. Without saying anything he pulls the car out of the parking lot.

"I think you need a vacation." He tells me as he speeds out of the street.

"A vacation?"

I gaped at him, "You serious."

"Yes, I'm serious."

"I can't go anywhere right now. I'm about to graduate." I murmur.

"right... I forgot you're in high school." He says, and I can hear the annoyance in his voice. "When do you graduate?"

"In three weeks."

He stays quiet for a bit. I start to get worried when he pulls into the Holiday inn hotel. "I need to head to London tonight. I will get you a room and you will stay here as long as you need."

"No, you don't have to do that."

"Anastasia is not negotiable. You can't be homeless."

"but"

"but nothing. I will stay in contact with you."

"oh." I sound happy when he says that.

That seems to make him happy too. "I will come back as soon as I can." the words sound like a promise.

I remained mute while I let the unexpected idea sink in.

"Come, let's get you settled in." He smiles as he opens his door and hands his car keys to the valet boy. I take a deep breath and follow him.

* * *

"You don't have to worry about anything other than taking care of yourself." Christian says as I walk around the hotel room.

I have never stayed at a hotel before and this is going to be awesome. No curfew or nagging parents.

I walk to the bathroom and my jaw hits the floor when I see the sweet bathtub. It resembles a hot tub and the mirrors are huge too. Getting ready in the morning will be awesome.

"Anastasia are you listening to me?"

"Yes, not to worry about anything and to take care of myself." I smile. "So when are you coming back?"

"I'm not sure." He answers and that makes my heart sink.

"oh."

Christian walks to me and looks at me. "I will be back soon, I promise." his hand moves to my cheek and he caresses it.

"I will miss you." I tell him, and he looks shocked at my words.

"You will?"

"Yes," my eyes look into his and I lean in for a kiss. He doesn't back away. He kisses me back. It is steamy to the point if we don't stop now I will have him in the bed on top of me.

"I better get going." He pulls away with heavy breathing. I'm truly sad to hear him say that.

I nod my head and he kiss me one last time. "Goodbye Anastasia."

I watch as he walks out of the room with my heart in his hand. "Goodbye Christian"

 **A/N: please comment. It means so much to me to know how many people are actually reading my story.**


	32. Chapter Thirty-One: Love is like oxygen

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE:**

My heart breaks as the door closes behind him and I'm left alone in this room. I thought that in the wake of everything that happened last night, that we could have something real. I know I started this so I could get money for school, but things have changed. I have genuinely developed feelings for him. He is different, dark and very interesting. I want to see him everyday and know what makes him happy and sad.

I sit down on the bed and stare at the door. I will miss him even though he is difficult. I reach for my purse so that I can get my cell phone and call Paisley. I need to tell her what happened, and I need to ask her to bring my belongings.

I quickly dial Paisleys number and wait as it rings.

"Anastasia," She sounds alarmed.

"Guess where I am?" I tell her wanting her to guess.

"I have been so worried, I haven't heard from you since last night."

"I'm sorry, so much has happened." I tell her wishing she was here, so I could tell her every single detail.

"Well, where are you?" She asks curious now.

"I'm at the Holiday Inn in Times Square."

"What?"

"Yes... Christian got me a room. I need you to bring my clothes and come here so I can tell you what happened."

"Alright, I'm on my way." She tells me, and I can hear the curiosity.

"Great, I'm in room 412, I will leave the door unlocked for you."

With that we hang up and my heart sinks again as I remember Christian is gone and I might never see him again.

~•~•~

"Anastasia?" Paisley asks as she walks into the room. She looks as tired as I am. Her purple hair is up into a messy bun and she is wearing a pair of jean overalls. I guess she had a long night too. Without saying a word, I come out of the bathroom and don't stop until I am hugging her.

"What's wrong?" She asks, as she hugs me back.

"Christian left." I bawled.

"What?" She coaxed.

"He left for London and I'm not sure if I will ever see him again." I clean my tears as I say that. I have been crying since Christian walked out of the door.

I know he said he would come back, but what if he changes his mind. What if he realizes I'm not worth his time?

Paisley takes my hand and we walk to the small living room area this hotel room has. "Tell me everything."

I nod my head, "I think we need tea for this." I tell her as I reach for the phone. I call room service and place our order.

"So, what happened after the two of you left the party?"

"Oh, Paisley so much happened. He brought me to his house and we stayed there. After talking for a while things turn... a little physical." I shyly tell her.

"What... he hit you?" She barks standing up angry.

"Not that kind of physical... we fooled around."

"Oh..." She finally sits back down, "So did you do it?"

"No, of course not. But, I can't deny I wanted to."

"He's pretty hot even with the scars on his face." Paisley admits.

"He makes me feel like I have never felt before. I don't even care about the money for Harvard anymore. All I want is for him to be with me." I tell her between tears.

"Aww Anastasia don't cry things will work out." She rubs my back trying to comfort me.

"I hope so." I tell her cleaning my tears.

A knock at the door gets our attention and I get up and open it. I'm glad Paisley is here with me now and we can talk about everything that happened last night.

"Miss Steele where will you like your food?"

"Please leave it in the table in the living room." I tell him, and he places the plates and teas on the coffee table. When the server has left, I close the door and head back to the living room where Paisley is.

"So, tell me more." She sounds like she enjoys my drama.

"His father is a bit of a jerk." I remember how he laughed at the fact that I was in the house.

"You met him?" She asks curious.

"No, but I saw him for a brief moment."

"Oh?"

"It's a very long story." I muted.

"So how did you end up here?" She changes the conversation.

"He took me to my parents house and I had to tell him about my parents spending my money."

She looks shocked at my revelation, "O-M-G, what did he say?"

"He brought me here." I shrug my shoulders.

"Does he know you want him to pay for school?" She takes a sip of her tea.

"Of course not," I roll my eyes, "I can't tell him that."

"So, what's your plan now then?"

"I'm not sure, but at least I have a place to stay until I figure it out." I tell her.

"That was really nice of him to get you this room." She says, and I don't know if it's my imagination or Paisley sounds jealous.

I try to ignore it and nod my head. I reach for my tea and drink some of it. "He is so confusing. He can be really sweet, but then turns around and acts like a jerk."

"He sounds like every boy in our school." she laughs, "You should take it slow with him though." she adds, and I know she is right.

"You're right." I say as I finish my tea knowing she is totally right.

~•~•~

Monday morning, I wake up annoyed. I had agreed to meet with Joseph before school started at the library to work on our English project today. Yet, I'm regretting it now. After all he is Henry's best friend. I know already without a doubt he is going to try to make my life a nightmare.

However, I have no choice, I need to graduate, and this is a requirement. I decide I will need an extra long hot shower before I must deal with him.

I slowly get off the comfy bed and head to the bathroom. Letting the water warm, I reach for my cell phone and I beam with happiness when I see a message from Christian.

Christian: Good morning, I hope you slept well. I can't stop thinking about you.

I quickly start typing my response. I know it is the middle of the afternoon in London, so I can't say good morning.

 **Me** : I slept awful... I missed you. I can't stop thinking about you too. I wish I could see you now.

I put my phone down and head into the shower. I let the warmth of the water take away all my stress and help me be able to deal with today. I remind myself that I will be done school in two weeks and I will never have to see Henry and anyone that I don't like ever again.

~•~•~

"Joseph... You need to be on time if we want to get this done this week." Irritated I say. I have been sitting in the school library for over an hour. However, he doesn't care. He is chewing his gum very loudly.

He throws his bag down on the floor and finally sits down.

He runs a hand throw his hair which pushes the loose blonde curls out of his forehead and his baby blue eyes look at me with judgment. "If you're going to bitch at me, I won't show up next time." He hisses, "How about you spare us both the trouble and you do the work by yourself."

I take a deep breath and attempt to calm down before I kill him. Perhaps his idea is not a bad one. I would much rather do this alone.

"Either we do it that way or you deal with me for the next week." He moves closer to me and whispers, "I promise I will make your life a living hell."

I move my chair and put some much-needed distance. "Fine, but you better learn the material before we present it."

He looks at me smiling and without another word he stands up and I know he thinks he just got away with this, but I have different plans.

"Great, let me know when it is done." With that he walks away feeling like he is the one who won, but that's about to change real soon.

I let out a little evil laugh as he heads out of the library and know I will get my revenge. Before I can start working on my awesome plan my phone buzzes. I quickly retrieve it from my pocket and smile like a fool.

 **Christian** : I miss you, I can't stop thinking about you sleeping beside me.

I love that he feels the same way about me. I miss him so much and I hardly can wait to see him again. I begin to write my respond and my smile doesn't vanish.

 **Me** : I wish I could lay beside you now, I can't stop thinking about you.

 **Christian** : I'm going crazy being this far from you.

His message comes in as soon as I have sent mine.

 **Me** : Come back right now please, I need you.

I sent it, I know he can't, but he should know how much I wish he was here. I put my phone down and decide to work on my school project, perhaps that will keep my mind occupied and away from missing him.

~•~•~

When I get back to the hotel after school I feel anxious. Christian still hasn't message me back and I have given up hope that he will return to me. Why did I think that by sending him a message like that it would make him want to run back to me? I roll my eyes annoyed at myself. When did I catch feelings for this man? Why did I allowed myself to do so?

I attempt to get it out of my head for right now as I need to figure out how I'm going to go about getting Joseph in trouble. He is not going to get away with bullying me into doing his work for him. A few different scenarios run through my mind. I could just go ahead and speak to the teacher about it-that be the easiest way. Another way could be is that I send him the wrong information to memorize and embarrass him in front of the whole class.

I decide to continue to think about it and by seven o'clock I have had enough. I haven't heard from Christian since I send him the message asking him to come back. I can't hold the disappointment back, I need to do something before I go crazy.

Putting away my books, I reach for my phone and text Paisley hoping she wants to do something tonight. I get excited when she immediately answers me and tells me that she will collect me in ten minutes.

I get off my bed and change quickly, putting on my dark blue ripped jeans and black hoodie I grab my shoes and head out of the hotel room hoping for my night to get better and for my heart to stop hurting for a man who wasn't mine to begin with.


	33. Chapter Thirty-Two: Will you still love

**A/n: You are all so awesome that I decided to update again today! Enjoy.**

 **CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO:**

"But the night just got started!" Paisley looks at me like I'm crazy.

"It's almost midnight, and I'm tired." Ivy one of our friend says as she is pulling her black hair up into a ponytail. Paisley had invited her to join our pity party.

"Plus, we have to get up early tomorrow for school," I add. It is just the three of us under the school bleachers, passing around a bottle of tequila. We are all having boy troubles, so we decided this was a good idea at the time.

"Ten more minutes," Paisley says, and we hesitantly agree.

I keep looking at my phone wondering if Christian will message me back as I wait for the bottle to come back around. After I take another sip I offer it to Ivy.

She lifts her head and shakes it. "No thanks, I'm done for the night."

Paisley pouts, "So you're seriously going to go home right now?"

I hold a yawn back, "I'm going too." I stand up, "Are you coming Paisley?"

"Nah. I will just chill here for a little more." She sounds salty.

"Are you sure?" The both of us ask her even though we know she is hoping we will change our minds at the thought of her staying here alone.

She nods and pulls her phone out and begins to text. Typical of Paisley, if she doesn't get away with what she wants she ignores you.

I roll my eyes, can she be more childish, "Fine, then. Goodnight, Paisley."

"Yeah good night." She mumbles.

The three of us say goodbye and swap hugs. After making her promise to stay safe, Ivy and I leave.

As we make our way home a phone begins ringing, my heart jumps up into my throat. I reach into my purse, shortly realizing that it is not my phone that rang. Ivy answers her phone and smiles.

"James," Her boyfriends name leaves her mouth and at least one of us is going to end up the night in a happy note.

I wave at her telling her that my way back to the hotel is to the left and we both say goodbye. I continue my way back to the hotel in silence. I wonder why Christian didn't answer me. I check the time and it must be just after six am in London. He is probably sleeping right now, and I need to stop thinking the worst about him not answering my text.

When I get to the hotel I'm glad. The lobby is quiet, and I immediately make my way to the elevator, I press the button and wait. I'm so tired and I can't wait to change and get in to my bed.

After pressing the 4th floor button I lean against the wall waiting for it to arrive at my destination. It moves, and the elevator music relaxes me. Soon the elevator opens, and an odd feeling overwhelms me. Something is wrong, the door to my hotel room is hung cracked open. I walk slow wondering why anyone would want to steal from me? there is nothing of value in my hotel room, nothing to draw thieves.

"Hello," I call out, but no one answers.

However soon, a yellow lab runs towards me, rubbing himself furiously against my legs. I reach down to pet it confused as to why a dog would be in my room. Is it bring your dog to work day and the thief decided to bring its dog?

"Sure, the dog gets all the love." I look up immediately recognizing the voice. I walk in and shut the front door to find Christian. He is smiling at me. A very handsome white toothed smile.

"Christian." I say surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"You asked me to come back."

"You came back for me?" I must look shocked because he closes the space between us. "is this why you didn't text me back?"

"I couldn't text in the plane." He shyly answers me.

My heart is beating so hard, I'm afraid it will come out. No one has ever done something this sweet for me. Without Hesitation, I move closer to him and press my lips to his gently. Just barely touching, but it is like a streak of lighting. It is so hot my body is reacting to the point I need a cold shower. I can see he is holding himself back from pushing me against the wall and kissing me senseless. I place my hand up on his chest and move it up to his neck. Then I put my mouth carefully to his again. This time I remain there as I explore his mouth with my tongue. I stir restlessly against him as I press closer.

His hands finally come up and he pulls me closer to the point that I don't think we could ever be closer. We stay like this for a while, enjoying each other. When we finally decide to come up for air, we are both smiling like crazy.

"I wasn't expecting that." He mutters.

"Well I wasn't expecting you to be here either."

"I'm definitely glad I came back." He touches my cheek and caresses it.

"Are you staying for good?" I ask hoping he will say yes.

"Unfortunately, no." He looks sad about that, "But I'm here until Sunday."

"Oh." I look down hoping he won't catch my disappointment.

"Hey, don't be sad." He touches my chin and brings my gaze up. "How about we make the best of the next few days?"

"I would like that." I admit.

"I hope you don't mind rocky being here, I felt bad leaving him at my house. Since I just got him back from Simon." He says, and I smile.

"I love that you brought him here. Of course it doesn't bother me."

Christian lowers his head and kisses my lips until the dog is jumping all over us. We both laugh and pet him.

"I guess Rocky likes being here too." Christian says and we both smile wanting the next few days to go slow.


	34. Chapter Thirty-three: A flash back

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE:**

My heart melts the moment I arrive at the hotel and see Christian. I smirk taking in the amount of Chinese food he has order. He has placed it on the carpet which resembles a picnic. Rocky is peacefully sleeping by the entrance door and the TV is on, playing a rerun of dirty dancing with the volume low. I feel like everything is alright with the world right now.

I throw my bag down on the floor and sit down. I'm starving so this is great. "Can you pass the chicken balls?" I ask, and Christian hands me the white box full of fried yummy food.

However, I quickly put it down and grab the tv remote, my favorite song of dirty dancing is playing, and I bring the volume up. "I love this song." I giggle as I tell Christian who looks amused. Before I know what is happening he is standing.

Christian comes around and places a hand out. He doesn't ask me to dance, but he waits for me to take his hand. My fingers eased into his hand and with one move I'm up on my feet, and soon I am in his arms, we press close against each other on the carpet floor which isn't really meant for dancing. But that doesn't stop us, and we are soon moving to the music.

The lyrics really hit me hard.

 _Tonight, you're mine completely_

 _You give your love so sweetly_

 _Tonight, the light of love is in your eyes_

 _But will you still love me tomorrow?_

 _Is this a lasting treasure or just a moment's pleasure?_

 _can I believe the magic of your sighs_

 _Will you still love me tomorrow?_

Christian kisses my lips so gentle that it makes me melt into his arms. My heart is beating so fast that I'm afraid is going to come out.

His lips move to my ear and he nibbles on it a little, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" He asks the one question I have been hoping he would ask.

I move away from his hold and look at his face, "Really?"

He nods his head, "I'm really into you Anastasia." He tells me waiting for my answer.

"Yes, I would really love that." I throw myself at him and hug him so tight, I'm never letting him go. This changes everything.

As we hug, I think about everything that happened for us to get here and I hope he will never find out the one thing I know could end this; that I wanted him for his money.

~•~•~

I stretch and smile. I feel like I'm in cloud nine. I rub my cheek against the thick, muscular chest of Christian. My boyfriend. He has been my boyfriend for seven hours now.

Excited I run my fingers through his chest touching the soft skin. I picture the life we can have, and I rather like the thought of us being together. He is snoring a little. Definitely in a not annoying way or is it that I have my relationship goggles on? Whatever it is I have slept better with him in the bed than when he wasn't here.

I bury my face at the nape of his neck and I kiss it, my lips linger in a gentle caress. He doesn't stir. I move my head a little to see his face, then back to his neck, and I gently ran my teeth on his neck nibbling on it and waiting for some kind of reaction.

However, nothing happens. I decide to let him sleep, He was up until late with work and even later talking to me. I listen to his deep, even breathing for a while, and smile at how cute he looks all sprawled in the bed.

Getting dress, I decide to take the dog for a walk before I head to the library to work own my project. I grab my iPod and earplugs and put the leash on Rocky he shakes around a little overly excited. I bet he doesn't get to go out as often as he should, but I know when Christian takes him to the cottage he lets him go wild.

Quietly we head out of the hotel room and down to the lobby. When we are finally outside I take a moment to inhale the fresh morning air. Last night was the best night ever and I'm going to have this silly smile all day.

"Alright Rocky what way should we go?" am I really asking this to a dog? I shake my head and head to the right.

~•~•~

Rocky stops just outside a store. I pull his leash a little, but he doesn't budge. I attempt again to get him to keep moving but he doesn't. That makes me look up at the name of the store as I'm wondering what has rocky so interested.

Love Paws. The name is cute.

I stare at the little pet shop with curiosity. It is cute, pink and very girly. "Is this what has your attention?" I rub rocky in the head. He barks, and I laugh.

"Are you coming in?" A tall woman says, she is a redhead. Her hair reminds me of the burnt orange sunset over the ocean, it is warm, and it tumbles over her shoulders like rusty water. She is wearing a cute pink shirt with animal prints. Her eyes are a light shade of brown and she is smiling at me.

"Oh no, I can't leave him out here." I tell her, looking down at Rocky.

She laughs, "Don't be silly, he is my favorite kind of customer." She pets Rocky in the head. She opens the door wide and we follow her inside.

Rocky seems to love it. He sniffs around the story in a search for something.

"My name is Ruby, "She tells me, "Can your dog have a treat?"

"I'm Anastasia and this is Rocky. I'm sure he would love a treat." I smile at Ruby, she is nice.

"Great, I make them myself, so they are super healthy for him." She lets me know and she gives Rocky a cute heart shape treat, and I watch as he devours it.

"So when is Rocky's birthday?" She asks curious.

"I'm actually not sure, he belongs to my boyfriend." I can't help but smile when I say that. Christian is my boyfriend now and I can't believe it.

"Oh. Well that's alright. We will say it is today." With that she hands me a little blue beg and I wonder what it is. "It's a birthday gift bag. It has samples of different treats I bake and a toy. It also has my business card in case you need anything."

I take the bag and thank her, "Well it was nice meeting you. We better get going, come one Rocky."

Ruby pets Rocky one last time before we walk out of the pet store and we head back to the hotel before Christian wonders where we are.

~•~•~

"You have a girlfriend?"

I stop just outside the hotel door when I hear the words loud and clear coming from the room. I open the door slightly and I put the hotel card key on my back pocket and stand quiet. Who is Christian talking to?

"Now I understand why you came back from London so soon. You found an eighteen-year-old to finish you off. When am I going to get lucky enough to find one for myself?" The awful man laughs, and I feel like my heart is beating fast with anger, until I hear Christian's voice.

"Stop saying shit like that. Anastasia is not like that and now that you have the papers I suggest you leave before she comes back. I will see you later to go through the documents."

The man laughs, and I already hate him, "don't get angry, I was just kidding... but when your done with her send her my way."

I exhaled for what feels like the first time in the last ten minutes. "Who the hell is that?" I whisper to myself and Rocky looks at me weird. I'm glad he isn't being noisy, or we would get caught hearing.

"fuck off Sean, just get what you came for and leave." Christian firmly tells him irritated.

"Fine. But don't forget about the meeting tomorrow."

"I won't."

The room goes quiet and I move away from the door and walk back to the elevator to make it seem like I'm just arriving.

The hotel room door opens, and my eyes take in the awful man. He is tall and slim, with bright blue eyes and a full blonde beard, his hair is shaved on each side but at the top there is a man bun and it matches the color of his beard.

"Rocky!" he calls out and now I'm going to have to be friendly. Rocky growls at him as if he can tell he isn't to be trusted and backs away when he tries to touch him. That makes the rude guy laugh. "You must be Anastasia." He smiles like a creep.

"Yes, I'm Anastasia." I answer a bit irritated. Who the hell does this man think he is?

"Sean Grey...It's a pleasure to meet you." His eyes don't move away from me.

I move to walk by him smiling politely. However, he stands there in between the door not letting us in.

"Well I better get inside Christian is waiting." I say, but that doesn't make him move. He continues to look at me and it is making me very uncomfortable.

"Excuse me, please." I politely say but he still doesn't move and I'm about to push him out of the way.

However, I'm glad when the door opens behind him and Christian is standing there. "Sean move out of the way."

Sean laughs and moves to the side. Once he has moved I sneak in with Rocky and finally breathe again.

Christian closes the door behind us and comes near me. "I'm sorry about that."

I take off Rocky's leash and he goes running to his water bowl. "Who was that?" I ask as I put the bag Ruby gave me and the leash down on the coffee table.

"My brother." He whispers as if he is ashamed to say that.

"Oh." I say not having anything nice to say.

"You can say it Anastasia he's an asshole."

"He creeped me out." I admit.

"I could tell, I'm sorry." He takes me into his arms and kisses my head.

I melt into his embrace and let the weird vibes go away.

"So where did you two go?" he asks.

"We didn't want to wake you up, so we went for a walk and stopped at the cutest store." I tell him remembering.

He smiles, "Oh what store?"

"Love Paws." I untangle myself from him and go for the beg. "They sell animal stuff and the lady who works there gave Rocky a couple of treats to try out. She makes them herself." I let him know hoping he won't be mad at me for letting the dog try them.

"Oh?" he sounds curious.

"Rocky saw the store before I did and wouldn't move. The lady came out and invited us in, she sells cool stuff." I hand him the bag and he looks at it.

The bag soon falls to the floor and I look at Christian, he is pale as a ghost. I'm confused until I see him holding the business card. "Ruby Walker." The name leaves his mouth and I'm wondering what the hell is going on.

Christian grabs my arm, "You can't go back there ever again." He sounds angry and serious.

"Why not?" I move from his hold and look at him.

"You just can't...promise me you won't." He pleas.

"No. You need to tell me why I shouldn't go back there." I'm worried now, what the hell is going on.

"Anastasia, I need to get in the shower and deal with work stuff right now, but tonight we will talk about this." He touches my face gently, "But before I go I need you to promise me you won't go back there."

I want to say no. I want him to tell me now what's going on. "Christian-"

"Please." He pleas to me and I can see the fear and anger in his face.

"Fine, but I want to know everything tonight." I demand.

He nods his head and kisses me. "Thank you, Anastasia." with that he heads to the bathroom and I hear the shower go on. I pick up the blue bag Ruby gave me and the business card. I wonder what Christian is going to tell me? Not wanting to over think things,l I put it down and get myself ready to start my day.


	35. Chapter Thirty-Four: Love Paws

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR:**

Christian: Anastasia, I'm sorry, but I need to head back to London something has come up.

I reread the text message and irritated throw my phone on the bed. Of course, he decided to go back when he is about to open up to me. Why is it so hard for him to tell me the truth? I walk into the bathroom and take a deep breath as I gaze at myself in the mirror. I need to know why he freaked when he saw the business card with Ruby's name.

Without thinking it twice, I grab my phone, purse and jacket. If he won't tell me what's going on, I will find out by myself. Closing the door behind me, I head to the elevator and begin to text him back.

Me: You would rather leave then tell me what's going on?

I'm done with the mystery. It used to be one of the things that attracted me to Christian the most, but not anymore. My heart is vulnerable now and I'm not about to get hurt.

When the elevator arrives on the first floor, I head to the front doors of the hotel and walk out. I walk a block until I come in front of Love Paws and stand still for a minute. Am I really about to do this? Is this the right thing to do? What if I don't like what he is hiding? I wonder if this has to do with his scars?

Yet, soon the decision is made for me. Ruby comes out of the store and our eyes meet. "Anastasia, right?" She smiles at me and I don't know if I should still be friendly with her. What if she did something to Christian and that's why he hates her.

"Yes," I answer her a bit scared of what I'm about to do.

"Where is Rocky?"

"My boyfriend has him right now."

"Well I'm just closing for lunch, but if you really need something I don't mind reopening the store." She smiles, and it irritates me. She needs to stop being so friendly.

"Actually, I want to talk to you about something." I finally spit it out.

"Oh?" She looks confused.

"I want to know why my boyfriend freaked out when he saw your name on the business card you gave me?"

She looks at me speechless, like she doesn't understand what I'm asking.

"I'm not sure what you are trying to ask me, but if you would like to join me at Mario's Cafe across the street we can talk." She suggested, and I agree. We cross the street and head into the little cafe. There is barely any customers and it is family oriented. The red colors makes it feel warm. We take a table by the window and settle down.

"Mario, two coffees please." Ruby tells the man behind the counter and he smiles politely at her.

"So, what do you mean your boyfriend freaked out when he saw my business card?" She asks as Mario places two cups of steamy coffee in front of us.

"That's what I want you to tell me, I don't understand why he freaked out."

"What's your boyfriends name?" She asks sipping her coffee.

"Christian Grey."

That makes Ruby spit her coffee. She quickly recovers and grabs napkins and cleans her mouth. "Christian Grey is your boyfriend?"

"Yes,"

She looks pale like she has just seen a ghost. She immediately stands up and grabs her things. "I can't talk to you about him, I'm sorry." with that she walks out of the cafe.

I quickly stand up and follow her out, "Wait." I shout, but she doesn't. I don't stop, I follow her to her store, she needs to tell me what the hell is going on. "Please I just need to know what happened."

That makes Ruby turn around and look at me, her eyes are red and puffy, "I'm sorry Anastasia, but I can't." She turns back around and heads inside Love Paws leaving more confused. What is she hiding?

Angrier than I have ever been I reach for my phone inside my purse and being to text Christian.

Me: If you can't be honest there is no point of us being together.

I sent it hoping for him to realize if he doesn't open up then he will lose me. My phone buzzes immediately and I quickly look at it.

Christian: Don't end things with me please, I'm still in the city. I'm coming to you now. Let's talk.

I walk back fast to the hotel wanting to be there when he shows up. I'm finally going to get the answers that I deserve.

~•~•~

The door opens and a sad looking Christian walks in. We both don't say anything, we just look at each other. He walks towards me and pulls me into a hug.

"Please don't break up with me." He whispers into my ear. "I'm sorry, I panicked."

I pull away and look at him, "I know but you don't have to."

"I know, and I want to open up to you, but you have to understand that is hard for me."

My eyes take in his face expression and I can see he really means that. "I will wait until your ready." the words leave my mouth and I wish I hadn't said them.

"I want to tell you now." He whispers.

I take his hand and squeeze it. "Then I'm ready to listen." Christian leads the way to the bed and I prepare myself for what he is about to tell me.

Christian stares at me for a few minutes before he takes a long deep breath and begins to speak.

"Due to my dad's company we used to move a lot. So, when I was in high school, my parents would move me around schools often. I never stayed in the same school for more than a year." He tells me, and I know this is taking a lot from him to open up. "It was my senior year and we had just moved to Chicago. I didn't have friends and it was hard for me to make friends. The guys at school didn't really like me, I'm not sure why." He mutters.

I take his hand, "You don't have to tell me if you are not ready for it." I truthfully tell him as I can see the pain in his eyes. This is not worth it if it will destroy him to remember. I can live with not knowing.

He shakes his head, "I need to tell you... I have never told anyone, aside from my family no one knows." he admits.

I stay quiet and hold his hand tight. "okay, I'm listening."

"There was a girl in my class who was always nice to me, she would often smile at me and sat with me at lunch when she could. We would do homework and hang out together after school," he pauses, " I fall in love with her." He swallows hard. "However, she had a boyfriend... an asshole one name Harrison."

"Oh?" I whisper.

"He didn't like that she would spend time with me, and she loved him too much to upset him, so she stopped hanging around me." He says that very sad. "That hurt me a lot as we were best friends and it was disappointing when we became strangers."

"Was that Ruby?" I ask needing to know how she plays in this story.

"Please let me finish." he doesn't answer my question.

I nod my head.

"Even though she stopped talking to me he wasn't happy. He hated me so much he would do anything he could to ruin my days at school. He would make her do the most repulsing, embarrassing stuff in front of me, so I would get angry and see how much control he had on her." He is angry now and I'm glad he is opening up to me. "the day before our graduation she came crying to my house after Harrison had hit her. She was ready to leave him, and I was going to help her confront him and finish her relationship with him. We made a plan and she was supposed to do it the day of our graduation. We agreed we would meet in front of the school and that we would do this together. Yet, she never showed up. I waited until I couldn't anymore. I was supposed to give my Valedictorian speech and I couldn't be late. When I walked back to where the ceremony was being held I saw her with him and she couldn't even look at me in the eyes. Of course, he laughed at me and I knew she had taken him back. I attempted to get it out of my head and focus on graduating and leaving that awful school, but I never expected what was about to happen."

I stay still worried about what he is about to tell me.

"When I stepped up to make my speech all I could see was Harrison and his friends laughing. I wasn't sure why they were, and I tried not to put too much of my attention to them. However as soon as I was half way through my speech I heard a loud noise, and everything went blurry, smoke surrounded me. People were screaming, and I felt disoriented. I tried to move away from the stadium, but I felt down. I had blood all over me and I blacked out. I guess it was supposed to be a prank because Harrison found out about me helping his girlfriend. I was supposed to get paint on me, from a paint bomb. But it was defected, and it exploded sending parts of it into my face."

Oh god, that explains his scars. "Oh Christian." I wrap my arms around him and we stay quiet for a while. "I'm so sorry this happen to you."

"Ruby came to see me at the hospital after it happened, she apologized. However, when I asked her if she had dump him. She hadn't. She knew he had planned to do that, and she didn't tell me. She ruined my life and stayed by the man who destroyed my face. I told her to never talk to me again and that she deserves everything he did to her. She left that day and I never heard from her again."

Tears leave my eyes with anger. I want to scream at Ruby to shake her until she realize what she has done to this wonderful man. My body is shaking with anger for him and I can see he notices it.

"It's alright. It's in the past." he hugs me, but I know it's not. I know it still hurts him. I can see it on his face.

My hands move to Christian's cheeks and I bring his gaze up to meet mine. I look at him and run my finger through his scar. He stays still as I do so, and I can feel the fear in his body. I bring my lips close to his and I kiss him gently. I need him to see that his scars don't make the man he is. He is an amazing, handsome, caring man. Who didn't deserve what happened to him.

"You are very Handsome." I kiss him again and again. His hands move to the nape of my back and we are soon breathing hard. Yet, Christian soon pulls away from me.

"Let's get out of the city for the night?" he asks.

I nod my head needing to be out of here and far from anywhere where we can run into Ruby. "I think that's a great idea. Where do you want to go?"

"My cottage." he tells me.

"Great, give me two minutes to throw some stuff into a bag."

He nods his head and I hurry to put a overnight bag together.

~•~•~

I sit enjoying the heated seat on the luxurious car as we sailed through traffic. It is a little After seven pm and after what he had revealed to me we both needed to get away and enjoy the fresh air.

I still can't believe what Ruby did. I try to keep the tears in, blinking furiously to keep them in. It is hard to accept that at only seventeen years old Christian had to go through that. He had his heartbroken and face scar for life.

I reach for his hand and hold it which makes him smile at me. I know there is a lot we both need to figure out but for right now I'm happy to be headed to the cottage with the man I love.

 **A/N: Hello! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please comment:)**


	36. Chapter Thirty-Five:Chicago

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE:**

I inhale the wonderful summer crisp cool air as I pull my sweater tighter and stand staring up at the sky. The stars are beautiful tonight and I'm glad to be here right now. Christian is inside working, and I don't mind having alone time right now. After everything he told me, I need a minute to think about it.

As I begin to think again about what Christian told me anger overwhelms me. How can someone do such awful things? How could Ruby not see how amazing Christian is? My hands close into tight fist and I fight the urge to hit something. Yet I need to remember that it is in the past and I need to let the anger go. After all I can't really do anything about it. Still, I hope I never see Ruby again, because if I do she will have to hear everything I'm thinking, and it won't be nice.

"Are you coming in?" Christian brings me out of my thoughts. I turn around and smile at him. He is looking so handsome, he is wearing a blue pair of jeans with a grey cashmere sweater.

"I will be right in." I gaze at him one more time and take all of him in.

He smiles and heads back inside leaving me to look at the stars for a couple of minutes more. I gaze up to the sky again and realize that I am ready. I'm ready to let Christian love me. I'm also ready to love him and now that I know his secret we can both move forward with our relationship. Without thinking any more about it, I head to the door.

When I'm inside I rush to Christian and wrap my arms around his neck. My lips make their way to his and I passionately kiss him. We stay like this for a while, until Christian pulls away breathing heavy.

"What was that about?" He sounds shocked at my sudden show of affection.

"I'm ready." I smile shyly.

"You're ready?" He asks confused not knowing what I'm talking about.

"I'm ready to be yours." I whisper shy to even hear myself say it.

"Oh?" He smiles, "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Are you going to make me ask you?" I smirk.

"Maybe?" He is being flirty now.

"Fine," I get closer to him and bring my mouth to his ear, "Take me up to your bed and make love to me."

Christian doesn't answer me instead he takes me into his arms and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around him and kiss his neck. I nibble and kiss him all over as he makes his way to the room.

When we are in the room, Christian puts me down on my feet. He stares at me and I start to feel nervous; after all it is my first time letting a man see me naked.

"Are you sure?" he asks me the question I'm also wondering.

"Yes, I'm ready." I mutter shaking with excitement

"I will be gentle." he kisses my lips. He touches my arm and moves down to my waist. Without a warning he slowly pulls my shirt off and it lands on the floor.

"Kiss me" I whisper, and he does. Softly at first but harder when my mouth opens. His hand digs into my hair and a slow moan leaves my mouth at the feeling of his fingers massaging my scalp.

His kisses are driving me insane and the way his hands are all over me is making me anxious for what is about to come. His swollen member is poking demanding to be release and I'm ready to let it out.

Christian 's mouth moves from mine to nibble at my chin and then my throat, making me moan loudly.

"Touch me down there." the words slip out of my mouth with need for him.

Christian groans and one hand moves between my legs rubbing my swollen clit through the thin material of my black leggings.

We are soon moving again, and I fall down onto the bed with him on top of me. His kisses are fire, deliciously burning everywhere he touches. They are driving me crazy.

Christian slips out of his jeans and is soon only wearing his boxers. I touch his sexy chest with an intense craving. I want all of him now. I can't wait anymore... I won't.

I pull at the elastic of his boxers and free him. He is fully naked now and all mine. I inhale sharp worried that it won't fit me. It is big. Too big for me.

"I will be gentle." he kisses me as he says that. "Just take a deep breath and relax."

I nod my head and let the moment take over me. He pulls down my leggings and I'm soon fully exposed. Christian moans as he sees me fully naked and I know he likes what he sees.

"Christian ." I whisper as he positions his man hood at the opening. I take a deep breath and he slowly enters me. I cry out at the odd pain. It stings a bit, but I push through it. Until he is fully in and I let a loud moan.

"I'm going to go slow." he whispers into my ear and I nod my head.

I hold on to him and loose myself to the feeling of him. My eyes catch his and I can't hold it in anymore.

"I love you Christian . I have loved you since the first time I met you." Tears invade my eyes at the intense feeling on my chest.

Christian groans and picks up his speed until he is pushing hard and fast. "Oh Anastasia." he moans as his body shakes with pure pleasure. "I love you too my sweet Heartly."

~•~•~

Christian kisses my cheek as I cuddle closer to himIt is nine in the morning and all I want to do is stay in his warm arms all morning. "Good morning," I whisper, and my belly is full of butterflies he makes me feel so alive and taken cared of. I'm nervous to turn around and face him after what I told him last night how I'm in love with him. I know it is too soon, but I can't stop how I feel. It was going to come out soon whether I wanted it or not.

"Good morning beautiful." He whispers right back and pulls me closer to him, cuddling me which makes my heart skip a beat. He has changed from the grumpy, quiet man to a happy loving one.

"I feel different today." I mutter, and I can feel my cheeks turning red at the thought of what happened last night. I'm really hoping he feels the same way after all I did give him my virginity.

"I do too." He admits and pulls me closer and kisses my neck gently. Hearing him say that makes me extremely happy. "There is something I want to talk to you about." He sounds serious and I prepare myself to hear what he is about to say. "I hope it won't upset you."

"Oh?" I say feeling nervous. I turn around and face him, "I'm listening."

"I want you to tell me more about what happen with your parents." He tells me and that makes me anxious.

"I don't really want to talk about that." the last thing I want is to remember what my parents did. How because of them I won't be attending Harvard.

"I think we should, I want to help you." he adds, and I don't know how to feel about that.

I look at him confused, "You want to help me?"

"Yes, I want to help you." He tells me again.

I sit up, "Why?'

Christian also sits up, "Because I love and care about you and I don't want you to be fighting with your parents."

I get off the bed and grab his t-shirt off the floor It covers me enough to feel comfortable. I don't think it is his business and I'm getting irritated. This is a touchy subject for me and the thought of him ever finding out about why I join the website scares me to the point I want this conversation to be over.

"Anastasia please don't get upset." Christian gets off the bed and follows me. "I don't want it to ruin the wonderful night we had."

I smile when he brings up the night we had. "Then drop it, I don't want to talk about my parents right now... or ever." I tell him not caring that it makes me sound like a brat.

"Fine, then we won't." he grabs me by the arm and pulls me close to him and his lips come close to my ear, "By the way bratty Anastasia turns me on."

I let out a soft giggle and he picks me up into his arms. "I think round two is in the cards." with that he takes me back into the bed and I let the conversation disappear from my mind.


	37. Chapter Thirty-Six:I will always love u

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX:**

I wake up in the middle of the night too warm. Christian's head is on my shoulder and he's breathing softly on my neck while he sleeps. We were up until just two hours ago getting to know each others' bodies. His leg is entwined with mine, his hand is placed behind his pillow. My eyes flicker open and close and I remove the blankets from my overheated body. Hazily my mind wanders through the events of yesterday evening. I lost my virginity—boy, did I lose it alright. I'm amazed at how much I truly enjoyed it. I smile as I remember how gentle Christian was with me. He was sweet, real sweet, and unexpected. I take a moment to think how I'm feeling about this. I can't deny I feel different.

"What's wrong?" Sleepy eyes search mine.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." I run my fingers through his hair.

"How can I go back to sleep when you look this lovely." He says, kissing my lips, and my body lights up.

"I don't think I can go again." I shyly say.

"Did I hurt you?" He asks, and I'm embarrassed to admit I'm a bit sore.

"I'm just sore." I whisper.

Christian kisses my forehead and pulls away from me. He stands up and walks out of the room and a few minutes I hear water running from the bathroom. He comes back into the room with a glass of water and two pills, "Take this they will help with the pain." He hands me the Advil's and I gladly take them. "Come with me." He puts his hand out for me to take and I do so. He walks me to the bathroom and I'm welcome by the wonderful smell of watermelon. The bathtub is full of steamy water and bubbles.

"You did this for me?" I ask looking at him in awe.

"Yes, I want to take care of you." He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it.

I let go off his hand and wrap my arms around his neck. "You're going to spoil me." He shyly looks down at the floor, "Thank you for taking care of me."

"I like taking care of you." He finally looks at me again and smiles at me.

"You're making me feel loved." I kiss his neck.

"That's because you are," he murmurs, and my heart melts. He can be so sweet and gentle. "Now get in the bathtub before I take you back to the bed."

I smile like a fool and before I get into the bathtub, I get an idea. "Join me?" I reach for his hand and I'm over the moon when he does.

"Ahh this is heaven." I tell him as soon as my aching body hits the warmness.

"I hope I wasn't too rough with you." Christian say's and I lean my back to his chest.

"You weren't. It was amazing for me." I admit feeling shy.

"It was amazing for me too." He whispers into my ear and I feel a shiver leave my body.

Smiling I close my eyes and let the warm water and Christian relax me. "Can we stay here for ever?"

"Unfortunately, no. We need to head back in the morning." He says, and I can hear the disappointment in his voice. "-I need to catch a flight back to London tomorrow, but I'll come back as soon as I can." He adds and my heart sinks. I can't be without him now after what has happened between us. Not wanting to cry I put that thought out of my mind and enjoy the reminding of the night with the man I love.

~•~•~

"Will I see you soon again?" I ask Christian as he pulls into the Holiday inn hotel where I have been staying. I can't hold back the sadness in my voice. He must go back to London tonight and I need to get ready to present my final project and write final exams this week.

"Yes, I promise." he kisses my lips and I can feel that he feels the same way. He doesn't want to be apart from me. "I will miss you madly, but we can text and Skype as much as possible and I will be back in time for your graduation."

I nod my head knowing that we will both be extremely busy, and the time will go by fast, but I still can't stop but hate that we must be apart. "I will miss you too." I kiss him again and again. Until we are pulling apart breathing heavy.

"We better stop before I drag you up to the hotel room and make love to you." he says, and I can feel the power that I hold on him. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. It scares me to know I have his heart on my hands.

"I wouldn't mind that." I whisper. After all the sex we had this weekend you would think I would need a break, but that's not the case. I love every time he touches me, and I feel so close to him right now.

"I can't be late for my flight." he tells me, and I nod my head holding my tears back.

"Will you message me when you arrive in London?" I need to know that he has arrived safe. I wish I could go with him.

"Of course," he kisses my forehead, "Take care of yourself Anastasia."

I shyly smile, "I will." he kisses my hand and I reach for the door handle with the other. I open the door and step out. I wave at him and begin to close the door, but he stops me.

"I love you Anastasia." as the words leave his mouth I rush back into the car and kiss him hard.

"I love you too Christian."

~•~•~

I walk into the hotel feeling sad. I know he will be back soon, but I miss him already. I have never felt this way before. This is a new feeling for me and I'm confused about it.

My phone buzzes as I enter the elevator. I reach into my purse and pull it out only to realize I have ten messages and three missed calls. I check who they are from and see that most of them are from Paisley and a few from my parents. What do they want now? After all they kicked me out.

I open Paisleys messages:

Yo Anastasia.

Where are you?

Answer your phone.

Are you alive?

Your parents are worried and looking for you.

Helloooo

I call her number wanting to know what is going on and I'm glad she answers on the second ring.

"Anastasia where the hell have you been?" She shouts at me and I'm about to hang up if she doesn't stop.

"Christian took me to his cottage there is barely any phone reception there. I missed your calls and text. What is going on?"

"Well I'm glad you're alright. But your parents are seriously worried about you. They want to go to the police. They called my parents freaking out. They want me to tell them where you have been staying." She tells me, and I feel bad for putting her in this position. "You need to figure out something to tell them today, they aren't buying my excuses anymore." She adds.

"Thanks for having my back, I will take care of it." I tell her and hang up. I need to call my parents and calm them. I'm eighteen so even if they call the cops they can't make me go home, but I do feel bad that they are worried even though they are the ones who kicked me out.

I rush to my room and throw my purse on the floor. I walk back and forth contemplating my options. I could tell them the truth about Christian helping me. However, I'm not sure they will react well to that.

I grab my phone and before I can think more about it I dial their number.

"Oh God Anastasia we were so worried about you." my mother cries.

"I know I'm sorry I hadn't called, I'm fine thought."

"Where are you? Your father and I are sorry for everything. Please let us come pick you up. You need to come home."

"No, I'm not ready to come home. I just wanted you to know that I'm alright and not to worry about me. I will see you at the graduation and we can talk more than."

"Anastasia please-"

I stop her before she can say anything else, "Sorry mom but I have to go. I will call soon again I promise." with that I hang up and I hope this worked and I have a bit more time before I have to tell them about Christian.


	38. Chapter Thirty-Seven:

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN:**

I stir, opening my eyes to a bright morning. I'm warm and comfortable under clean, crisp sheets, I take a moment to orient myself and am overwhelmed by a sense of déjà vu. Of course, I'm back at the Holiday Inn hotel.

"Shit! I'm late for school." I scream rushing off the bed and getting my things together. I have my project presentation today and I can't miss it.

I quickly grab the first thing I can find and put it on. Then I pull my hair into a ponytail and grab my backpack. I rush out of the room and out the four seasons hotel like my life depends on it. I'm glad when I find a taxi just outside and I climb in not having time to walk to school today. I pray there is no traffic today and I'm glad when I make it quickly to school. I run to the school and down the hallway and I'm thankful when Mrs. Johnson doesn't tell me off for being late.

I take my seat and take a deep breath. I'm nervous for my presentation and I hope I won't get in too much trouble.

~•~•~

My heart beats fast as Mrs. James checks her sheet and looks at me. "Anastasia and Joseph, you two are next."

We both stand up. Joseph walks to the front of the class room all confident thinking all he has to do is read the papers I gave him. Of course, he had not read them because if he had he would have known what I had written down.

I smile wickedly as the PowerPoint starts to play. "You are ugly," I read the first words of the PowerPoint.

"You should kill yourself." Joseph reads his lines, "You should of have never been born."

"You are fat and worthless," I dramatically read.

"This is a few of the words that are spread around the hallways of high schools." We both read together.

I continue to read the facts and statistics of bullying in schools all around America.

"With a show of hands how many of you have been screamed at or have been told any unkind words?"

Most of the girls in the class put their hands up and soon I am also putting my hand up, "I have been screamed at, bullied and repeatedly tormented." I admit. "Ladies we need to stand up and not let them get away with it any longer." I climb into the chair next to me, "Now with a show of hands how many of you have been bullied by this boy... How many of you have been called names by Joseph?"

He goes pale.

"He attempted to bully me into doing this project for him." I look at him as I say it.

"Anastasia, get off the chair!" the teacher screams.

"Joseph and his friends think they own the school Mrs. James."

"I don't know what's going on, but you are not making a mockery of my classroom." She is angry... really angry. "You two to the office now."

"What?" Joseph says, "I'm the victim."

"To the office now." she points to the door and I grab my things and walk out of the room. Joseph follows me irritated and I know he isn't going to handle this well.

"You are dead Anastasia." He whispers as he pushes by me.

~•~•~

The first thing I do when I get back to the hotel is check my phone. There is two new messages. I take a deep breath and before I even look at them, I already know who they are from... my mother.

My stomach twists at the sound of her voice, and its all I can do not to hang up. I want to smack myself, of course she found out about what happened at school.

Ugh. I flop down on the bed and close my eyes. This is all a mess. I should have never done what I did. Yet, Joseph had it coming and after all I didn't really get in much trouble. I have to write Mrs. Johnson a letter apologizing but that's it. I think the principal went easy on me since its almost graduation.

A knock on the door snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Anastasia?" Paisley shouts. "I know you are in there, the guy at the front office saw you come in."

I haul myself off the bed and attempt not to make noise, so she thinks the guy made a mistake and I'm not actually here. I need some time alone, I'm not in the mood to be around anyone right now.

"Anastasia." She shouts again

"I'm coming relax." I roll my eyes and get off the bed. I walk to the door and open it, a smiling Paisley strolls inside wearing black leggings and Ugg boots which I know it means shopping time. However, I am in no mood for it.

"I'm not going shopping." I make it clear right away.

"Heartly come on!" she pouts. "We need to buy our graduation dresses." she adds, and I know she is right.

"Fine, only because graduation is in two days and we still haven't found dresses."

"Well I think we will find them today, a friend told me about a great store and I have a good feeling." She smiles.

"Great," I grab my purse and sweater, "Lead the way."

~•~•~

 **CHRISTIAN'S P.O.V**

I cover my head with the hoodie of my sweater before I exit my car. This is the address the business card Anastasia had showed had printed on it. Taking a mouthful of air, I walk towards the very pink little shop. I need to see her. I need to confront her. I glide through the people and I'm determined to get some answers today.

Yet, I come to a stop in front of the store when I see Ruby through the window. She is as beautiful as I remember. Her wavy hair is down, and it is a warm red color she hasn't changed much. She is smiling and showing something to the woman beside her. They are standing by the counter having a good time.

I attempt to build up courage to walk in however my eyes soon catch the reflection of the glass window and I see the scars on my face. I bring my hand up to my face and run my fingers through the scars. This is why I avoid mirrors. I hate the way I look and wonder every day what Anastasia sees. The fear of confronting her soon turns into anger and it overwhelms me. I enter the store with one goal in mind; telling Ruby to disappear.

"Good morning, can I help you?" the tall blond woman asks me as I look around for Ruby. Where the hell did she go? She was just here a minute a go.

"I'm looking for Ruby." I shortly say, looking around the store.

"Oh. I'm sorry you just missed her." the woman can't keep her eyes off my face, is like she has never seen someone so ugly.

I bring my gaze down, so she can't see them anymore and I don't say anything else to her. I walk out the door irritated. She was just in there. Would she hide from me? I wouldn't be surprised after the last time we saw each other.

As I stand just outside the store I take a last look around in hope of seeing her. Yet, I don't. Perhaps that's for the best.

 **A/N:comments please:)**


	39. Chapter Thirty-Eight:

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT:**

The Fashion Outlet is overly crowded and loud. The smell of fried foods catches my attention and my stomach grumbles with hunger. Perhaps coming here wasn't all that bad of an idea. I know I need to find a dress for prom but I'm not even certain that I'll be attending it.

"What color are you thinking?" Paisley questions me.

"I haven't really thought about it." I confess.

"Well do you want to match with Christian?" she enquired.

"I was thinking maybe a navy blue for the color of my dress, then he could wear a blue tie… what do you think?"

Paisley beams, "That's a great idea. You two will look great." she stays quiet for a minute and then looks at me, "I'm thinking silver for my dress."

"Silver? That will look nice with your hair...We better get looking then."

We both smirk when we see Burberry and Paisley pulls me towards it. We roam the store in search for the perfect dresses for what seems an eternity and I'm ready to give up, until my eyes catch the perfect dress.

The gold mermaid style dress is beautiful. It is floor length and satin lace, sleeveless with gold beading. I look at it with awe and I know this is the one for me. I giggle excited for Christian to see me wearing it.

"Oh wow Anastasia!" Paisley comes from behind me as I'm staring at the dress. "If you don't take it I will." she sounds serious.

"Yes, this is the one." I grab it from where is hanging before she decides to take it for herself. "Did you find one?" I attempt to change the conversation.

"Yes." she answers looking at her dress then at mine, "but I think I'll keep looking."

* * *

When I arrive back at the hotel I hang my beautiful dress in the closet. I can't help but feel excited for prom now. I wonder what Christian will think when he sees me wearing it.

I take a seat on the bed and dream of how amazing the night will be. Feeling tired I decide a hot bath would be amazing and before I know it, I'm getting undress and getting a bubble bath ready.

I relax the moment my body hits the warm water and I close my eyes. Tomorrow is my last exam and I'll be officially done high school. I'm excited to leave all the bad memories behind and start new ones.

I take a long needed breath and lower myself deeper into the tub. Yet, I'm soon brought back when my cell phone rings and I do whatever it takes not to murder myself as I surge out of the bath and to the room where I left my phone—to answer it before whoever is calling me hangs up. I grin like a schoolgirl when I see Christian's name flashing on the screen.

"I almost killed myself trying to get the phone." I lightly laugh and I'm glad no one is here, or they would of had seen me running like an insane person with a soapy naked body.

"Huh?" Christian says having no clue about what I'm talking about.

"I was taking a bath before you called, and I left the phone in the nightstand." I laugh feeling silly. "I had to rush out of the bathroom to answer."

"Oh." he murmurs, and I wonder what's up with him. He sounds like he doesn't even want to be on the phone.

"Is everything alright?" I ask worried about how quiet he is being.

"Yes, sorry work is kicking my ass today." he says, but I'm not believing that's the problem.

"Oh," I'm the one being quiet now.

"I'm sorry, how about we start this conversation again?" he says, and I grin trusting we can return to the adorable stage we were in before he left to London.

"I would like that." I concede.

"How was your day?" he asks sounding more alert.

"Busy... annoying." I tell him remembering what happened today.

"Oh, what happened?"

"You know high school drama." I keep my answer short not wanting him to know what I did to Joseph.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, but I can feel that he really doesn't want to.

"No not really... it doesn't matter anymore. "I answer wanting to change the conversation, "So you're coming back Thursday right for my graduation?" I add.

He stays quiet for a minute, "Anastasia... I'm not sure that's a good idea."

My heart breaks a little as the words leave his mouth, I stay quiet not knowing what to say.

"Your parents will be there, and they don't know about me. Plus, you know I don't do public stuff." he tells me, and I don't say anything back so he adds, "You know I don't have good memories when it comes to graduations."

"Yeah... okay." I whisper, I don't want him to hear the hurt on my voice.

"I'm sorry, I-"

I stop him before he can say more, "Don't worry about it, anyways I better get going I have studying to do." I don't wait for him to respond and hang up. Why is it every time I get my hopes up he crashes them? I put my phone down and go under the water and let the irritation consume me.

 **A/N: please comment. I want to know what you think so far of this story. Also, I have a Twitter account now and would love if you all can follow me**

 **Twitter username: lollitagirl27**


	40. Chapter Thirty-Nine:

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE:**

"Maybe he is cheating?" Paisley says as we sit down in one of the cafeteria tables. I take a bite of one of my fries and think about what she just said.

"You think?" I answer her wondering if Christian would do something like that, after all he did tell me he loves me. Yet after last night I am not sure. "Then why is he still putting me up at the hotel? If that's all he wanted he would of had of told me to leave."

"Maybe he doesn't want to be rude, but you did give it up to him and maybe that's all he wanted from you." she shrugs her shoulders. I attempt to push down the hurtful statement she just made. She has been acting strange lately and I'm not sure what's up with her.

"You think that's all he wanted from me?" I ask her wanting to know how she truly feels.

"I'm not sure, but he has been avoiding you and doesn't even want to come to your graduation now. I doubt he will come to prom either." she sneers, "so what are you even going to do now? I have a date and you're not going to be my third wheeled. Maybe nerdy Huston will go with you if you ask him nicely?"

I have had enough, "What the hell has gotten into you today? You are acting like a complete bitch." I grab my tray of food and stand up, "When you are ready to be my friend again call me." with that I walk away irritated as hell.

After throwing the remaining of my food I place the tray on top of the garbage bin, and roll my eyes when I see Henry coming towards me. If he is looking for a fight he is about to get one. I am definitely ready to put him in his place right now.

"Well...well...look who it is." he smirks.

"I'm not in the mood Henry." I try to push pass him, but he grabs my arm and stops me. Who the hell does he think he is?

"Where do you think your going sweetheart?"

"You have five seconds to let go off my arm before I break your hand." I angrily scream at him.

He laughs and lets me go, his eyes never leave from mine. "I heard what you did to Joseph and you can't keep getting away with this kind of behavior sweetheart."

"More like you and your friends can't keep getting away with bullying girls." I hiss.

He moves closer to me, but I don't back away. I need to show him that I am not scared of him.

"You are messing with the wrong person... I'm sure you don't want people to know that you're a big gold digger whore." He smiles as the words leave his mouth.

"What the hell are you even talking about?"

"Next time make sure you tell your little secrets to someone who doesn't like to gossip." he winks at me and goes to kiss my cheek, but I move.

What the hell is he talking about? I want to go after him and ask him about it, but I can't if not I will be late for my Math final exam.

But before I walk away, I look back at where he is and watch as he tells his friends something I can't hear, and they all laugh at me. I flip them off and walk away attempting to get it out of my head for right now and focus on finishing high school.

~•~•~

I furiously throw my backpack and Jean jacket on the floor and let out a loud huff with annoyance. I'm in a horrible mood after what just went down with Paisley and Henry. I take a mouthful of air and attempt to remember tomorrow is my last day of high school and I'll never have to deal with that kind of drama again.

As I walk towards the bed I stop at the sight of a beautiful bouquet of red roses placed on top of the coffee table. I immediately head towards them and grab the little white envelope that is sticking out. I take a deep breath and open it.

 _Happy last day of high school! I love you._ \--Christian

I can't help but smile at the sweet gesture. Christian can be so sweet at times. I place the card beside the flowers and look for my phone, I should call him to thank him. Yet, a knock at the door stops my search. I get excited thinking maybe it is Christian. I run to the door and immediately open the door. However my smile disappears when I see my parents at the door. How the hell did they find out where I have been staying?

"Ana," my mom grabs me and hugs me, "I'm so glad you are safe." she kisses me and I feel bad for making them worried.

"What are you doing here?" I ask confused.

"We followed you as you were leaving school... So this is where you have been staying?" My father asks with an angry tone to his voice. "How can a young lady with no job afford this place?"

An older lady walks out of her hotel room and gives us dirty looks. "How about you two come in?"

They do and I close the door behind them.

"Answer me young lady." My father demands.

I swallow hard, "hhmm... I sold some of my paintings." I tell him which is not a lie.

"Stop lying Ana." he shouts at me.

"Stop, it doesn't matter right now." My mother yells at him, "All we want is for you to come home Ana." the way her eyes are looking at me tells me she misses me.

"Mom, I can't come home." I tell her truthfully. I'm still upset about what they did to me.

"NO THAT'S NOT ALL THAT WE WANT, she needs to tell us what the hell she is into. There is no way you can afford this place Ana." My father pushes.

"I told you, I sold some paintings." I stay firm with my answer.

"Stop lying we know you have been staying here with a man... Damn it Ana we raise you better than this."

"What are you talking about?" I'm getting angry at his accusations now.

"We didn't raise you to be a whore." He shouts with so much anger.

"Stop." my mother holds on to the wall and holds onto her chest.

"Mom are you alright?" I grab her arm and panic at how weak she looks. How did I not notice that she has lost weight and seems smaller and weak?

"Of course she is not alright." my father hisses.

"Stop David." my mother says with a very weak voice.

"No is time your bratty daughter knows the truth." he shouts again.

"What are you talking about?" I'm getting irritated with all the lies.

"No, not like this." my mother pleas but my father isn't stopping.

"You're mother was diagnosed with lupus and it is affecting her heart. She needs a transplant badly." he tells me, "You have made the last month worst for her." he adds making me feel horrible but I presume that was his intention.

"Mom," I pull her into my arms, "Is it true?" I whisper and all she can do is nod her head.

Tears leave my eyes with anger and disbelieve. I can't believe everything I have put her through.

"I didn't want you to ever have to find out sweetheart." she tells me and I'm angry she didn't tell me sooner.

I pull away from her, "How long have you known?" I ask needing to know the true.

"Seven months." she whispers.

Oh god, they knew for a while and kept it from me. "Is this why the money's gone?"

"We were in debt with medical bills, they were about to take the house from us. I'm so sorry Ana." She sincerely tells me.

"Why didn't you just tell me the true?" crying I ask, "I would of had understood instead of feeling like you didn't care about me."

"We didn't want you to worry about it." My father is more calm now, "We didn't want you to go through this pain."

"So what now?" I ask hoping they have an answer where my mother doesn't die.

"We wait for a donor to safe your mothers life, but the list is long."

I can't hold back anymore,I break down and fall to the floor. Deep loud angry, sad screams leave my mouth. My mother comes to me and holds me tight and soon my father is following her. The three of us cry and hug each other hoping for this to be a horrible nightmare only.

~•~•~

"Do you have everything?' My father asks and I nod my head. I grab my jacket and purse and he takes my suitcase. I will miss this place and the happy times me and Christian had. However, my family needs me right now.

"I will be right out." I tell him and he nods his head leaving me alone.

I walk to the table and I pull out one of the red roses that Christian send me and also grab the card that came with them. I smell the beautiful red rose and without another glance I walk towards the door and out the hotel room.

I reach for my phone as I walk to the elevator and type him a quick message:

Thank you for the beautiful flowers.

I wish you were here right now, I need you more than ever. -Ana

Putting it away, I look at my mother and take her weak hand into mine and look into her eyes, "We are going to get through this together." I squeeze it knowing we are about to have the fight of our lives.

 **A/N: Hello my dear readers! sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll update soon again. Also, I'm looking for a Beta reader to help me edit my stories. If you are interested please pm me so we can talk about it. Thank you in advance:)**

 **Add me on Twitter : lollitagirl27**


	41. Chapter Forty:

**CHAPTER FORTY:**

The moment I wake up, I feel out of place. I'm laying on my bed in my parents house. It is strange not being in the hotel room that Christian got for me. I'm missing the comfy king size bed and fluffy pillows. However, with my mother being sick I need to be here with my family right now.

The sudden thought of my mom's sickness makes my anxiety take over me. I can't lose her… I won't. I'm furious that they only told me last night. Still I need to be here for her and get over my anger and resentment. Feeling depressed, I quickly grab my phone in hopes to find a message from Christian. But I'm disappointed when I don't.

Overwhelmed with everything that is going in my life, I get out of the bed and head downstairs. I'm happy when I see my mother sitting at the table drinking orange juice.

"Good morning sweetheart." she smiles at me and I begin to worry at how pale she looks.

"Good morning, how are you feeling this morning?" I ask really concerned.

"I'm fine Ana, you don't have to worry so much about me." she tells me, but how can she expect me not to worry when she looks so fragile. She could die because of this horrible sickness if we don't get her a transplant. But I don't say that to her. I need to do whatever she says so I nod.

"Would you like some breakfast?" she asks and I shake my head. The last thing I want to do is eat.

"I need to get ready for graduation. I'm supposed to be there an hour earlier to practice." I tell her and steal a sip of her orange juice.

"At least have a piece of fruit." she insist.

I don't want to upset her so I grab an apple from the fruit bowl. "Well I'm going to try to look somewhat decent." Even though that's impossible since I look like a complete mess; with my racoon eyes and bird nest of hair.

My mother stands up and comes to me, "You're beautiful no matter what you wear. I'm so proud of you sweetie for graduating and I'm sorry if I ruined your day." She looks so sad as she says this.

I fake a smile, "It's not ruined." I kiss her cheek and head up to my room with tears on my eyes. This might be the last big moment in my life that she will be around to celebrate with me so I need to enjoy it as much possible.

~•~•~

"Ana." I hear my name being called as I walk out of my father's car. I turn around and see Paisley walking towards me.

"Hey, so I'm sorry about yesterday." She says but it doesn't sound sincere. "Can we pretend like it didn't happen?" She adds.

I stare at her for a minute until I see my father has drove away. I don't want him hearing what I have to say to her.

"No we can't pretend like it didn't happen… what has gotten into you Paisley?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." she murmurs.

"Yes you do. I know you told my parents about Christian."

"No I didn't." she tells me, but I don't believe her. "I haven't even spoken to your parents since you moved out."

"Don't lie… I just can't understand why you are acting this way, you are supposed to be my best friend."

"Well not everything revolves around you Ana." she sneers. "You can believe me if you want. It doesn't matter either way."

"I have way too much going on to have to deal with this right now." I tell her and begin to walk away.

"Yeah walk away Heartly, that's the only thing you are good at." She murmurs under her breath but loud enough for me to hear.

"What did you just say?" I turn around angry.

"Nothing. We are going to be late for rehearsal." She tells me and I know there is more to this. I let it go for now, but I will find out what the hell is her problem.

I roll my eyes and head to the back of the school where they have placed the stage and pray for the day to go by fast.

"Good morning everyone." the principal says, "We are going to begin in five minutes."

Gazing around my eyes come to a stop in complete shock. The last thing I needed was happening in front of me. My heart breaks at seeing Paisley laughing with Henry and his friends. I want to cry at the betrayal but I toughen up and swallow down the feelings. She is not going to see me hurt. Her eyes eventually meet mine and she smirks at me. I can feel the tears so I look down forcing them to stay in my eyes. After what Henry did to me I'm shocked that someone who used to say she was my best friend is being all friendly with him.

"Alright we need you all to line up by the table so we can start handing out the gowns." One of the teacher shouts as everyone is being loud. I take a long deep breath and I walk to the table wanting to just forget about today and leave. I have never felt so weak.

I make sure I'm not next to Paisley or Henry as I wait for my turn. I want tonight to go fast. I don't even want to go to prom anymore. I want to be anywhere but here. I grab my cell phone and disappointed put it back in my purse. Why is Christian ignoring me? Perhaps Paisley is right and all he wanted was my body. I try not to cry at the cruel reality of how badly my life has turned.

I decide to just do and follow everything I'm told to do and push down my feelings and hope for things to work out for me.

An hour later we are taking our places. I wave at my parents from my seat. I love seeing my mother happy, she is already taking pictures of me and the ceremony hasn't even started yet.

I'm sitting two spots away from Paisley and I can feel her staring at me. I don't understand what is going on with her? I miss my best friend. But I have a feeling nothing will ever be the same again.

I attempt to get that out of my mind as the principal takes the stage and the ceremony begins. It is time to close this part of my life and I'm totally ready. I finally smile for the first time, knowing I'm about to get my diploma and leave this horrible place.


	42. Chapter Forty-One:

**CHAPTER FORTY-ONE:**

"Congratulations sweet girl," My mother wraps her arms around me and kisses me on the head. My father is beside us looking at us as happy as ever. I'm glad he hasn't asked me about Christian since we left the hotel last night, but I know it's just a matter of time until I must explain who he is; even though I barely even know who he is myself.

"Come on you two, I know a wonderful restaurant to celebrate at." My father takes my mother's hand and we begin to walk to the car.

As we are walking through the parking lot, I see Paisley getting into Henry's car. She is smiling and laughing, but there is something odd about it. It isn't her usual smile or laughter, I would know I have known her for a very long time. There is something she is hiding, and it must be big. I wonder what Henry has on her to make her be around him? Or did she change over night and became this awful person? I try to get it out of my mind for right now and enjoy that I have just graduated high school.

"Anastasia come on sweetheart," My mother calls out to me as she is getting into the car.

I smile and rush to the car and get in it. "So where are we going?"

"You will have to wait and see." My father smiles at me and I love how happy he is right now.

Ten minutes later we arrive at my favorite Mexican restaurant− La Cantina de mama. I immediately get excited as we haven't been here in years. We used to come here every Sunday when I was younger and spend quality family time. It makes me sad to realize that we haven't been close for a long time now. Yet, I'm willing to change that now. I want us to go back to how we were and be happy for my mother.

"I bet I can guess what you're going to order Anastasia." My father says as he parks the car.

"Carnitas," We both say at the same time and giggle. Carnitas are my favorite type of meat and they have the best tacos here.

"I'm thinking tacos dorados." My mother says in her finest Mexican accent.

The three of us laugh and get out of the car and make our way towards the restaurant. When we are inside the restaurant we pick a table,and wait for our waiter. I gaze around the restaurant and I'm surprise nothing has changed. The walls are well decorated with Mexican decorations and colors of the flag. They are also playing traditional music and I can't wait to eat.

"Welcome to La Cantina de Mama, what can I get you all to drink?" the pretty young waiter asks us and we all order Agua de Horchata−which is a tasty Mexican traditional drink.

When the waiter has left my mother looks at me, "So what's the plan for Prom tonight?"

"Actually, I'm thinking of skipping it." I murmur and know she won't like that.

"Anastasia, you can't miss your prom, you will regret it if you do." She tries to make me change my mind.

"Well, I don't have a date and I have a lot going on." I tell her like she doesn't know already.

My mother looks at me like my problems are minimal, "When I graduated from high school, I didn't have a date for prom. I went with a group of girls and it was the best decision I made. We had a blast. You should go with Paisley and your friends, sweetheart."

"I will think about it mom." I tell her hoping she will move on from this conversation.

"It would really mean a lot to me to see you all dressed up for prom." She squeezes my hand and I wish she hadn't just put so much pressure on me.

I fake a smile and I'm glad when the waiter arrives putting this conversation to rest, at least for right now.

* * *

My phone rings and my heart beats fast hoping it is Christian. I quickly grab it from my night stand and my smile disappears when it isn't him. It is an unknown number, so I let it go to voicemail. I haven't heard from him in a couple of days and I'm starting to worry. If he didn't want to talk to me anymore he could have straight up said it to me, I would have had understood.

I look at the time and know I need to get ready soon if I'm going to go to prom. I roll my eyes annoyed. If it wasn't for what my mother said I wouldn't be going to it. After everything that has been going on at school the last thing I want to do is spend more time there. However, I need to do this for my mother.

I grab the pillow next to me and bring it to my face. I let a loud, angry scream. I hate that I have no other choice. Building enough courage, I throw the pillow back to where it was and stand up. I better get ready before I change my mind.

* * *

"You look so beautiful and grown up," My mother smiles as she gazes at me from the door frame. "I'm so thankful to be able to be here today." she adds, and I can see tears forming in her eyes.

I smile back at her as I stare at myself in the mirror. The gold mermaid style dress is beautiful. It is floor length and satin lace, sleeveless with gold beading. It is elegant and sexy.

"You're missing something thought." She tells me and finally walks inside my room. She stops behind me and places a beautiful heart diamond necklace around my neck. I touch it as she puts it on me and I feel overwhelmed.

"I love it, thank you."

"Please don't cry, your makeup looks really good." We both laugh as she says that.

She backs away and stares at me some more. My hair is curled to perfection and my makeup has never looked so good before. I don't recognize myself, but the fact my mother is happy that is all that matters.

As I'm finishing getting ready I hear the bell ring and I wonder who is here? But my question is soon answer when I hear the voice. My heart beats fast and I rush out the room and down the stairs. I stand still when my feet hit the last step and I see him.

Christian is standing at the door with a sexy black suit on. He is all dressed up and his hair is looking rather sexy. He looks so different from his usual black hoodie. I look at his hand and he is holding a beautiful lily corsage.

"Who are you?" My father asks. He is staring at Christian and I know Christian must be feeling really uncomfortable. He hates when people look at him because of his scars. My mother looks shocked and I can see she is wondering what happened to his face. I'm glad she hasn't asked him.

I finally take the last step and walk towards Christian, "My date." I smile at him and my heart skips a beat at having him in front of me.

My father looks a bit angry, but my mother touches his hand in a way to tell him to let it go for right now. I know we will be having a long talk when I get back.

Christian shyly brings his gaze up and faces him, "Christian Beckett, it's a pleasure to meet you sir." He reaches for my father's hand and waits for him to shake it. I begin to get nervous when I don't think he will. However, my father surprises me and takes his hand.

"Nice to meet you too." He doesn't sound very truthful, but I don't question it.

"We should get going Anastasia." Christian says, and it sounds like a plea. I can feel how uncomfortable he feels. He doesn't like being around other people and I know this is a big deal for him.

I nod my head, "I just need to grab my shoes and purse." As I go up the stairs I try not to think too much into it, but the fact that he showed up for prom makes me believe he truly loves me.

When I arrive at my room I grab what I need quickly not wanting to give Christian a chance to change his mind and leave. When I have everything, I rush downstairs and to the door, but I am stopped before I can grab Christian's hand and rush him out the door.

"Wait a minute, I need a picture." My mother says, and I can't say no.

"Of course." I grab Christian's arm and we get close enough. I know he is uncomfortable because his gaze doesn't come up.

"Christian look at the Camera." My mother demands.

I want to yell at her, she needs to see how uncomfortable he is. Yet, I don't. Instead I look at Christian and whisper, "Just look at me baby." He takes a minute, but his eyes come up and they stare at me. My mother takes a few and seems to be pleased enough to finally let us go.

"Alright, I will see you guys later." I shout as I'm heading out the door.

"Have fun!" My mother shouts back.

I look at Christian and I know he knows he needs to explain why he has been ignoring me for days.

"I know you are probably wondering a lot, and I want to tell you what has been going on. However, I don't think tonight is the night for that. I want you to have the best prom night." He takes my hand and kisses it, "Just know that I missed you like crazy and I'm glad I'm here with you now. You look so beautiful."

I want to argue and get him to tell me what the hell had him so occupied that he couldn't answer my phone calls or messages. Yet, I know he is right. I could use a night without thinking about my problems. "Alright, but we are talking about everything tomorrow."

He nods his head, "I promise we will." he leans in and plants a sweet kiss on my lips.


	43. Chapter Forty-Two:

**CHAPTER FORTY-TWO:**

My favorite song is playing the moment we walk into the casino royal theme prom. The school gym has been done up with red, black and white colors. The tables are cover with black tablecloths and red roses are used as centerpieces.

At the front of the gym side by side on the stage there is two big Ace cards that I presumed are made of cardboard. The DJ is set up on the stage and blue lights are surrounding his equipment.

Christian takes my hand and it makes me smile for the first time in a while. After learning my mother is sick life has gotten more complicated and the thought of having a night without having to worry makes me happy. I'm truly thankful he is here tonight as I never in a million years had I imagine he would be here with me. After all he doesn't have great memories from his graduation.

Holding his hand tighter I turn to face him and smile. "Can we take a picture?" I point to the line that leads to the photographer who is taking pictures. "I know it seems cheesy, but I wouldn't mind having something to remember tonight."

Christian stays quiet and I can tell being here is already making him anxious. I can't push too much, or I will lose him.

"We don't have to," I quickly add and begin to walk again, but he stops me. He doesn't say anything and instead moves us towards the line. We wait quietly until it's our turn.

"Alright you two, give me big smiles." the photographer shouts at us. "If you don't bring your gaze up the picture won't turn out." he tells Christian and I quickly turn to see if he's alright and I can see this is overwhelming him.

I turn him to face me and wrap my arms around his neck. "Don't worry about anyone else but me." I tell him, and he nods his head.  
"Take the pictures this way please." I tell the photographer and I'm glad when he goes along with it.

Once the photographer has taken the pictures we walk through the gym in search of our table and I'm surprise when Christian grabs me by the waist and brings his mouth to my ear.  
"Would you like to dance?" Christian asks, but I shake my head. No one is in the dance floor and I don't want to be the first one.

"Maybe later." I tell him, and I can see he is feeling nervous too. It must be hard for him to be here, I know he hates people looking at him. But the gym is dark, and I know he appreciates that, "How about we find our seats." I look at my tickets and see that our table number is nineteen.

Christian follows me, and we are soon sitting at our table. I'm anxious as I know Paisley should be arriving soon too and things are weird between us. I hope she will let it go tonight and not start drama.

"Would you like a drink?" Christian asks, and I nod my head. He stands up and kisses my forehead before he walks away.

The gym is beginning to get full and I'm actually excited for the party to really start. I smile and look up when I feel someone touch my shoulder and expect Christian to be standing beside me, but to my surprise it isn't. I immediately get Joseph's hand off my shoulder and turn back around hoping he will go away. Yet, he doesn't instead he sits beside me.

"Whatsup gold digger?"

"Joseph can you just leave me alone for once." I plead, but that only makes him laugh.

"So, is that the man you're taking money from? "He asks moving his gaze to Christian who is at the fruit punch station.

"Fuck off." I hiss.

"Maybe I will just ask him." He stands up and begins to walk towards Christian. That makes me panic. I stand up and follow him. He reaches Christian and leans in to say something to him. My heart is beating so fast. Christian looks at me confused, but he doesn't look mad.

Once Joseph is done saying whatever he was saying to Christian, he comes towards me and wraps his arm around me. His lips make it to my ear, "Meet Henry in the roof in five minutes or we will tell your boyfriend that you're using him to pay for Harvard. Don't bother asking who told me because we both know you know the answer already." He smiles as he lets go off me and walks away.

I can't believe Paisley told him. She was like a sister to me. I'm feeling so hurt and devastated. But, I can't show my pain as Christian is looking at me.

He walks next to me smiling and hands me my drink, "Is that your friend?" he asks.

"What did he say to you?" I ask instead of answering his question.

"He told me to be good to you, because you are a very special girl."

I relax a little. However, I need to go deal with this right now.

"Excuse me for a minute." I tell Christian and hand him my drink. I'm about to deal with Henry for the last time.

* * *

"Why do you love stars so much?" a deep, familiar voice says.

I turn around and see Christian standing behind me. "What are you doing here?" I ask him confused.

"What do you mean? Your friend told me you asked him to tell me to meet you here."

"My friend?" I begin to panic. What the hell are they planning? My hands are shaking, "Joseph?" I ask even though I know the answer already.

He nods his head and I stare at him feeling like this is a nightmare and he is the only thing that is keeping me from losing my mind. He is looking so handsome. The night has been hard, and it has only been an hour since we arrived. Yet, I'm already ready to leave and put this experience behind me. I can now at least say I had the prom experience and it wasn't the best.

"Would it be okay if we leave?" I ask him ready to leave this place for good.

"Anastasia we just got here, is everything alright?" He looks at me and I know he can tell I'm upset.

"I just don't want to be here anymore."

Christian stops me before I begin to walk to the door that leads to the stairs.

"Thank you for letting me join you tonight." He tells me, and I know this means a lot to him." I know I have been distant, but I want to show you how much you really mean to me."

I nod my head. I don't want to sound rude and rush him, but we need to get out of here. Christian doesn't move is like he is waiting for me to say something in return, so I do. "I'm glad you decided to surprise me tonight." I tell him, and he smiles at me as he is happy to hear that.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to your graduation." He admits. I love that he has been opening up to the idea of being more in public now. When we first met he wouldn't even let me see him and now he is here with me at a public place. I never imagine this would be the outcome after the first time we met.

"I need to tell you something." He mutters and stands closer to me. He looks at my eyes as he speaks, "I found this at the hotel." He pulls out a piece of paper out of his pocket and I look confused at it. "I went looking for you there, but you weren't there anymore. I know we have a lot to talk about, but I really want to give you my graduation present." With that he hands me a piece of paper and I unfold it.

I begin to read it and I'm shocked when I realize it is the Harvard University paper. The one with my final reminder to pay for school before they give my spot to someone else.

"You can just throw it out." I bluntly say. It is too late; the due date was yesterday, and I still don't have the money. I hate that he is bringing it up now when the thought of it makes my bad mood worst. "I rather not talk about it." I truthfully tell him, but that doesn't stop him.

"Listen to me Anastasia." He takes the paper from me.

"No, I don't want to, can we just leave now?" I raise my voice annoyed.

I begin to walk back inside, but Christian stops me yet again by grabbing my arm, "Anastasia I paid for your first semester."

That stops me, and I turn around shocked, "You did what?"

Christian pulls me close to him and places his hand on my back and caresses it, "I paid for you to attend school in September."

"Christian no, you shouldn't have." I pull away not knowing what else to say. I feel horrible about this. If he ever finds out this was the exact reason why I started talking to him it will destroy him. He already has problems and knowing that I used him it would break him.

"I want you to follow your dreams." He tells me, and I feel my heart beating fast. I want us to talk about this more, but I want to get the hell out of here right now.

"Can we talk about this more somewhere else?" I ask urgently.

"Why are you so upset about it?"

"I'm not, I just want to leave." I say angry.

"What's wrong Anastasia?" He isn't walking. He is looking at me waiting for an explanation.

"Damn it Christian, I can't accept it." I say the words I never thought I would ever say. "I'm sorry-" I whisper and begin to walk away feeling so stupid. I need to get the hell out of here. Henry is up to something and I don't want to stay to find out what it is.

"Anastasia wait." He shouts, but I don't stop. I head to the stairs, but I'm too late. Henry is in front of me smirking. I freak out and turn around rushing to Christian knowing I'm about to lose him.


	44. Chapter Forty-Three:

**CHAPTER FORTY-THREE:**

The moment I see Henry panic overwhelms me, and I rush to Christian. His eyes catch mine and I know he knows something is really wrong. I wrap my arms around him and cry knowing I have made the biggest mistake in my life.

"Christian please listen to me." I whisper into his ear and I know he must be confused. "I can explain everything-" I add, and I know things are about to change between us.

"What are you talking about?" He holds on to me and I know he can feel my anxiousness. I don't let go of him because this might be the last time I have him in my arms. I kiss his lips and when I'm ready to face Henry I let go off Christian.

"Don't do this Henry." I plea to him but I know there is no point. He is here for revenge and nothing is going to stop him.

"Fuck you Anastasia you deserve this." Joseph screams at me and that makes Henry laugh. He is acting all tough now because his friends are with him.

Henry gets closer to me and immediately Christian pulls me closer to him.

"Wait a minute," Henry points at Christian, "Are you the fucker who broke into my party and knocked me out." Henry is really angry now.

Christian doesn't answer him.

"Well... look who's finally going to get what they deserve." Henry is acting all though because his friends are behind him.

"Henry don't." I yell at Henry and move from Christian's protection. This is my problem and I need to be the one to fix it.

"What the hell do you want?" Christian looks at me and then at Henry.

"Shut up before I scar that ugly face of yours more." Henry screams at Christian and I'm ready to kick him in the balls again.

Christian grabs my arm and pulls me behind him again. "I will like to see you try." He yells at Henry.

That makes Henry laugh, "You know you're defending this dumb bitch when you shouldn't... maybe it's time you find out who this gold digger really is."

Christian is the one laughing now. "Come on Anastasia let's get out of here." He takes my hand and we begin to walk but Henry isn't having it. He blocks our way making it impossible for us to walk through.

"Where you think your going?" Henry shouts, "Let me tell you a story I heard about this little whore."

Christian has had enough he grabs Henry by the neck and pushes him to the side, "You will never disrespect Anastasia in your fucking life again." He shouts at him and I can see how angry he really is. I have never seen him that way before.

Henry immediately gets up and comes face to face with Christian. "You fucking deserve this ugly gold digger and I hope she takes everything you have for being a stupid disfigured ugly fucker."

Christian's hand holds me tighter and with the other one he pushes Henry out of the way. I follow him to the door and down the stairs. He rushes us out of the gym and we are soon outside walking to his car.

He opens the door for me without saying anything to me. When I'm sitting down he closes the door behind me and comes around. Two minutes later we are pulling away and I can feel the elephant in the car.

"Where are we going?" I ask needing to know.

Christian doesn't answer me, he looks straight ahead to the road never even giving me a glance.

"Christian?"

Without a warning He pulls the car to the side of the road. "GET OUT." He yells at me.

I stay sitting in shocked. But soon he is coming around and opening my door.

"I need you to tell me the truth Anastasia." He looks confused and hurt.

My heart begins to beat fast, and I can feel the tears coming. I know I need to be honest with him. "I made a mistake." I whisper.

"SPEAK LOUDER." He is close to my face now.

"It wasn't supposed to turn this way." I say hoping this will make it sound better. I need to be honest, so I get out of the car and stand in front of him.

"What did that asshole mean when he called you a gold digger?" he tries to calm down.

"Please don't make me say it." I cry.

"You were using me?"

"It wasn't supposed to be you." I add.

"What does that supposed to mean?" he runs his hand through his hair irritated.

I place my hand on his cheek, "I didn't know I was going to fall in love with you."

"What were you after?" he asks the question that I know will destroy us even more.

"Harvard." the word leaves my mouth. "I needed the money for school."

"I knew this was too good to be true." The words leave his mouth and I can feel my heart breaking.

"I'm sorry. Please let me explain everything."

"No." He shouts, "get in the car I'm driving you home."

"No." I'm the one shouting now, "I need you to listen to me please."

He shakes his head, "I can't Anastasia I need to not be in front of you right now."

He backs away from me but I'm not taking a no. I move close to him and try to touch him, but he moves as if my touch is burning him.

"Please Anastasia just get in the car." He pleads for me to listen.

I look into his eyes and see how truly hurt he is and know I need to give him some time or I'm going to lose him completely.

I don't fight him anymore and nod my head. Without another word I get in the car and pray that I won't lose him.

Christian drives in silence and when we arrive at my house I expect for him to change his mind, but he doesn't. I look at him, but he doesn't look at me. I realize that this is the last time I will ever see him again.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to him, "I don't want to lose you and I never took money from you."

"Well I guess you got what you wanted anyways, I did pay for your school." He angrily answers me, "I hope you really enjoy it."

"Please don't end this Christian, I love you so much. I made a huge mistake."

"I need you to get out of my car now Anastasia." He says.

"No, I'm not going anywhere until you listen to me and let me explain how things happened."

"I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU RIGHT NOW." He shouts at me. "GET OUT."

Crying I open the car door and get out. The moment I close the door he storms down the road and out of sight. I scream in pain knowing the man I love is gone forever.

 **A/N: Please comment**


	45. Chapter Forty-Four:

**CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR:**

"CHRISTIAN." I shout with everything in me after him, but I know he is gone. The man that I love is gone. I cry with pain. How could I have been so stupid? I walk towards my house and soon I come to a stop. I can't just let him leave and not fix things. For all I know he will get on a plane and leave for London tonight.

I pull out my phone and do the only thing I can do right now. "Hi Simon-"

"Anastasia?" he sounds half a sleep, "What's going on?"

"I need you to make me a favor." I say to him and I hope he says yes.

"Oh?" he sounds confused.

"I need you to tell me where Christian is staying please." I really hope he doesn't know we got into a fight and that he will tell me where Christian is staying.

"What do you mean, he said he was staying with you at the Holiday inn?" Simon is now alarmed.

I hang up without explaining anything to him. I immediately regret being so rude. I debate going inside my house and changing but I don't want to answer the questions I know my parents will have for me.

Without hesitation I begin to walk towards the hotel knowing it is going to take me at least thirty minutes to get there, but that will give me time to think about what I'm about to say to him. All I can do is hope he will let me explain and we can fix this.

When I arrive at the hotel I feel uncomfortable as people are staring at me. I bet they are wondering why I'm wearing a formal dress and have mascara smeared under my eyes. I attempt to ignore everyone and walk towards the elevator; I really hope Christian is here and that I didn't just walk here for no reason.

My heart begins to beat fast as the elevator takes me to my destination. When I arrive at my floor I walk out slowly hoping things work out for me. Perhaps I should have had listen to Christian and just left things alone for a little while.

As I arrive in front of the door I feel my hands shaking and I need to take deep breaths. I build up courage and knock on the door. Yet, he doesn't open it. I knock again but again he doesn't open. I reach for the handle and I'm thankful when it's not locked.

"Christian?" I call out to him as I walk in.

My heart breaks the moment I see what's in front of me. There are thousands of roses all over the room. Candles are neatly placed through the room and there is a heart shape made of rose paddles on the bed.

Oh no he did this for me. Tears invade my eyes and I feel like the biggest jerk. I decide to check the bathroom, but he isn't in there either. I hope he is alright.

There is no sight of him anywhere and I'm devastated. I have hurt him, and I will never forgive myself for what happened tonight. I know I need to leave, but before I know it I'm climbing on the bed and closing my eyes.

"How did you get in here?" I hear Christian's voice and my eyes immediately open hoping it was just a dream. That he never found out about the money. It is dark, and I know it must be late.

I'm sad when it wasn't a dream and he is standing in front of me angry.

"Christian." I whisper half a sleep.

"What are you doing here Anastasia?" he asks, and I can feel the distance between us. He looks tired and mentally exhausted. He has his suit jacked in one hand and his white long sleeve dressy shirt is unbuttoned at the top. He looks so sexy.

"We need to talk." I say trying to fix my hair; It probably looks awful right now and he probably thinks I'm the ugliest girl with my messy makeup face.

"No." He firmly answers me.

I get off the bed and walk to him, "Please let me explain everything."

"Anastasia, I need space right now." He can't even look at me right now.

"Christian as soon as I started to have feelings for you I dropped the whole Harvard money thing. I would of have never taken it from you. I'm in love with you and I feel so horrible for lying." I admit and open up to him.

"You need to leave now Anastasia." He angrily yells at me.

"No!" I shout back, "I'm staying here until you listen to me."

His eyes finally meet mine, "Fine then I will leave."

"No, please don't." I throw myself at him and wrap my arms around him. "I'm so sorry, I made a mistake." I cry in his arms and I'm surprised when he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

"I don't want to lose you." I whisper between sobs.

"Shhh... please don't cry." He kisses my neck and I know he cares about me still.

"I don't want you to leave me." I cry again, and my lips move to his neck. I nibble on his neck then chin and finally my lips meet his. He doesn't push me away. He kisses me gently.

His hands are all over me and I'm loving it. "Anastasia, we need to stop." Christian whispers but his body is saying different.

I pull him closer to me and know this is my only chance to show him how much I need him. "Make love to me." The words leave my mouth and a sexy growl leaves his mouth.

"Anastasia, I can't." He whispers to me. "This is too much."

"Please." I don't care to beg, "I need your love... I need to feel you."

His intense eyes look at me, "I can't give you that, I'm too angry."

"I'll take anything you can give me." I sadly say.

"You don't want what I can give you right now." he tells me and that worries me.

However, I have no choice I need him to stay and deal with this, "I'm not afraid."

Christian doesn't say anything but continues to stare at me, until the attraction wins and our lips crash into each other.

His hands move to my head and he gently pushes me against the wall. His hands soon move to the back of my dress and he unzips it. I step out of my dress and reach for his clothes, but he grabs my hands and pulls them up against the wall with one hand. Then with the other he moves to touch my waist. His lips pull away from mine for a moment and he whisper. "I need you now."

Words don't leave my mouth, instead a weak moan does and that's all the permission he needs. He let's go of my arms and with one move he pulls my bra off. I am soon standing in front of him with only panties. He stands back and stares at me. Has he changed his mind? I bite my lip and go to touch him, but he moves back

"No." He tells me, "No touching," he adds irritating me. I attempt again, but he moves one more time

"can you do what you are told?" he tells me with a serious look on his face, "I think it's time to teach you a little lesson."

"Christian no, just give me what I want." I demand I'm way passed games at this point as I feel if he doesn't touch me I will go crazy.

"No." He firmly says, "get on your knees."

I try to look shocked but the fact he is playing hard to get is turning me on. I shake my head, I'm not going to give in. "Christian no, I won't do that, not like this."

Christian reaches for my dress and I get angrier,"You can leave any time you want Anastasia."

Is he really done with me because I won't get on my knees? We stare at each other attempting to win this fight of power.

"I told you. You don't want what I can give you now."

I take a long deep breath and know that after what I did, I deserve this. I take a step forward and get on my knees. That makes Christian smile, like he has won, but I have other plans.

Christian walks to me, "unbuckle my pants."

I bring my hands up and do as I'm told. I look up at him and I'm in awe of him. He is a very handsome man. His gorgeous green eyes look at me.

Christian soon pulls off his pants and my mouth waters at the view in front of me. "taste it." He demands. "Start from the tip and work your way down." he guides me knowing very well this is my first time doing this.

I slowly but eagerly place my hand on it and bring my mouth to the tip. I lick slowly at first feeling intimidated by it. But before I know it I have grown enough courage and I take it to the root. Christian lets out a loud moan and I know he likes it. He soon puts his hand on my head encouraging me to continue doing what I am doing.

Before I realize what is happening I'm being picked up and placed on the bed. He rips my panties off and I know I'm about to get what I have wanted all along.

"This is only for me Anastasia." He whispers into my ear as he puts a condom on, "You belong to me sweetheart." and at the same time he pushes himself inside me, making me moan with pleasure. What does he mean this is only for him?

Christian picks up his pace and his breathing gets heavier. "I'm close."

At that moment I realize what he meant. This wasn't for my pleasure. It was only for his. Was he trying to screw me out of his system?

"Finish me." I plead him and he bites my neck. I breath hard knowing he is close. His eyes meet mine and my heart hurts at the way he is looking at me. I have hurt him deeply. "Please." I beg once more.

His eyes meet mine for an instant once again and he brings his hand down to my clit. He rubs it gently as he picks up his pace. I feel the delicious feeling of my organs begin to take over my body as it burst through me. I bite Christian's neck as I lose myself to the feeling. Soon loud moans leave his mouth as he reached his own orgasm. I kiss his forehead wanting him to forgive me but, I know he won't and at this moment I know nothing is alright between us.

The next morning, I wake up to an empty bed and a note on Christian's pillow. Without looking at it I already know what it means.

Pulling the covers to cover my naked breast, I reach for the note and brace myself for what I'm about to read.

 **Dear Anastasia:**

Last night shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry If I was too rough with you. However, I truly believe I need some time apart from you to think. You knew lying was a big thing for me and I don't know if this can be fixed. Please respect my decision and don't look for me.

 **I will always love you.**

 **Christian Grey**

I let a loud cry out and bury my face on my pillow hoping that one day he will forgive me for my mistake.


	46. Chapter Forty-Five:

**A/N: I want to clarify something about this story. The website Ana went to meet Christian was not a sugar daddy website. It was just a website where one of her friends had ended up finding a man who helped her and that's why she joined because she wanted that. However, Christian wasn't looking for that and he made it clear to her that he didn't do lying. They were in love and she hide it from him so that's why he is upset.**

 **CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE:**

Pulling the blankets up to cover my face I grunt at the annoying doorbell. Why is no one answering the door? Irritated I pushed the blankets off me and stand up. I head out of my room and down the stairs. I have never been as miserable in my life as I am right now. It has been two weeks since I last saw Christian and I don't know if I will ever see him again.

The doorbell rings over and over again, "DAMN IT I'M COMING." I yell but I doubt they can hear me. I'm surprised when I open the door and see a delivery man. He is holding a package and I wonder what it is.

"Miss Steele?" the older man wearing a UPS uniform asks.

"Yes?" I say confused.

"This is for you, can you please sign here." He hands me his device and I sign on it. I close the door as soon as he has handed me the package.

I place the package on the table and stare at it for a while. There is no name or address on it. My curiosity takes over me and I rip it open. My heart beats fast when I see what's in the box. There is a sweater and a white envelope tacked beside the sweater. I grab the grey sweater out of the box and look at it; the Harvard red letters are placed in the middle of the sweater and I wonder what the hell does this mean? I quickly grab the white envelope and see that it has the hotel address on it, I wonder if Christian got them to change my address? I decide to open it and find out what it is.

Dear Student congratulation in joining Harvard, please find attached the orientation package with times and summer BBQ to welcome the new school year. We hope you will be able to attend and meet your fellow peers.

I put it down before I finish reading it. What the hell does this mean? I know Christian said he paid for it, but I had expected after what happen that he would take it back. Irritated, I lift the box up hoping a note or something will fall out of it and I'm glad when it does.

Good luck at Harvard everything that you need is in the box - Simon

I want to throw the box in the garbage and forget about Harvard. Christian made Simon send this to me and that feels like a punch to my stomach. He could of had reached out. I can't even reach out to yell at him for assuming I would still go after everything that happened. I throw the stuff back into the box and head up to my room, where I grab my cell phone off my side bed table. I need to call Simon and get him to give me Christian's number.

I begin to get nervous as the phone rings. "Hello."

"Anastasia?" He answers surprised.

"I received your package today." I tell him.

"Oh, do you have questions about it?" he asks.

"Yes, I need your return address," I angrily say, "I don't want it." I add as if it wasn't clear now it is.

"Anastasia I'm not going to let you return it." He makes it clear.

"Then give me Christian's number so I can speak to him." I hope he will agree. I am desperately needing to hear his voice. I need to fix what I did because I can't be without him.

"Anastasia you know I can't do that." he firmly tells me. I know I shouldn't be putting him in this position but I don't know what else to do at this point. I'm afraid I will never see Christian again if I sit and wait for him to reach out to me.

"Please, I just need to speak to him for a minute." I plea to him, hoping he will feel sorry and want to help me; after all he did help us once before

"I don't know what happened between you two, but you need to respect his decision and wait for him to reach out to you. Obviously he still cares for you as he went out of his way to arrange Harvard for you." Simon advices me.

"I made a huge mistake and I really want to fix it Simon. I won't even tell him you were the one who gave me the number." I tell him in hopes he will agree and let me have the number.

"Anastasia please don't put me in this position."

"I wouldn't be if it wasn't important." I add.

"I can't, but I can let him know you need to speak to him Anastasia."

"No, never mind." I don't want to sound like a needy, annoying girl.

"You need to give him time to work out whatever is bothering him. I wish I could just give you his number but he made it clear that if I did that I would be fired."

I know he is right, yet that doesn't make this any easier. "Fine, thanks for nothing." I hang up and throw my phone on my bed really wishing things could be different.

~•~•~

"Anastasia please come downstairs." My mom's voice brings me out of my funk for a minute and I immediately get off my bed and come down to the living room.

"What's going on?" I ask as I take a seat and wait for them to tell me what's going on.

My father holds my mother's hand and they smile, "We have great news Anastasia."

"We got the call today." My mother whispers between tears.

"Your mother is getting a heart today." they both smile and I soon join them.

"Are you serious?" I ask needing to know this is not a joke.

"We are serious Anastasia." I rush to where they are sitting and wrap my arms around them. My mother is finally getting the heart she needs and for the first time I feel like things will work out for us.

"We better get packing if we want to get this new heart." I say wiping my tears and smiling.

That makes my parents laugh and I'm happy to be here with them. Perhaps for once something will work out in my life.


	47. Chapter Forty-Six:

**CHAPTER FORTY-SIX:**

"Anastasia would you like a tea?" my father asks, and I can tell the waiting is driving him crazy. I nod my head knowing that this will give him something to do.

We have been sitting in the waiting room for two hours and we still haven't heard from the doctor. I know we still have a long wait.

My father squeezes my shoulder and makes his way to the cafeteria. When he is a few feet away I decide to check my phone. Not that anyone speaks to me anymore. My ex-best friend Paisley betrayed me by telling Henry my secrets and the man that I love hates me for lying to him.

Shaking my head with disbelieve at my horrible luck, I flip through my phone. Yet, I come to a halt when I see that I still have Cryptic messages in my apps. I'm surprised as I thought I had deleted it. I decide to go ahead and delete it now but curiosity takes over me and before I know it, I am opening it wanting to check it out one last time.

Without hesitating I check if Christian has deleted his profile but to my surprise it is still up. I quickly scroll to where the profile picture is and see that it is still empty. I move lower to where it shows the last time they had signed in and my heart breaks when I see he logged in an hour ago. He is already looking for a new girl.

I want to yell at him. I want to know if I ever meant anything to him. My eyes begin to feel watery and I know I'm about to cry. However, the anger stops me from doing so, instead I head to the message section and press the send a message option. I begin to write him a message hoping he will see it.

Dear Christian,

My love for you was real. I made an awful mistake before I even knew who you were, and who you would become to me. I wish I could take everything back, but I can't, and I must live with that for the rest of my life.

My mother is in surgery right now fighting to survive and the fact that she could die has taught me to not to live in the past as life is not guaranteed. You have pushed me away without letting me explain everything to you and you will forever have to live with that for the rest of your life.

I'm sorry I wasn't what you needed, and I hope you find someone who makes you happy.

P.s this is the last time I apologize for something that I didn't even end up doing. I also don't want your help with Harvard and good luck looking for someone in this website.

Goodbye Christian, I won't reach out to you again.

* * *

 **Christian's pov**

"Simon," I scream his name in hopes he will hear me right away and not make me get up from my desk. I know I have been making him run around doing everything that needs to be done before the big move. However, it is time we have the talk.

I knew I needed to move to London, but it had been difficult after having Anastasia come into my life. Yet, now I have nothing holding me back. I know I need to start over in London and after flying back and forth I made the decision to move everything there.

I made it very clear to Anastasia that lying was a big deal for me and she still hid stuff from me.

I'm glad when Simon finally shows up. I know I have been hard to deal with since Anastasia and me broke things off. But I really hope he will agree to what I have to ask him.

"Sorry Mr. Grey I was photocopying the papers you asked me to."

"Thank you Simon, please have a seat." I calmly say and he seems confused.

"Alright." he takes a seat and looks nervous.

"for the last four years you have been a great asset to this company. You are efficient and great at your job."

"Omg are you firing me." Simon jumps to conclusion before I can finish my sentence.

"No of course not. I want to know if you would consider relocating to London with me?" I tell him hoping he will agree. "Your pay will go up and relocating money can be something we work out."

Simon smiles not believing what I'm saying, "I would love too, but I'll need to discuss it with my girlfriend before I can give you my answer."

"Yes, I understand take the afternoon off and speak to her. Let me know by tomorrow."

"Thank you Christian." Simon stands up, but stops before he gets to the door, "Before I head out Anastasia contacted me. She got the packaged and wanted to speak to you about it. Of course I didn't give her your new number but I told her I would let you know."

He smiles politely and I know he wants to say more about the subject but I'm thankful when he doesn't. I have been dying to contact her ever since I left her in the hotel room all alone. However, I know I can't. She is too young for me and I need to let her be with someone her age. I need to get her out of my mind and heart.

I'm distracted from my thoughts when my phone pings and I know it must be a work related issue so I ignore it. I run my hands through my hair and yet again remember what happened between Anastasia and me the last time we were together. I can't get the picture of her naked body out of my mind. I'm crazy in love with her and the fact that I can't be with her is driving me insane.

I attempt to get her out of my mind for a bit and grab my cell phone. I'm surprised when I see I have a message notification from Cryptic messages. My heart immediately begins to beat fast knowing what this means. There is only one person who ever message me there. I quickly open the message and begin to read Anastasia's message to me.

I stand up immediately and rush out the room to where Simon is. "Why didn't you tell me Anastasia's mother is sick?" I shout out him and I expect a good explanation.

Simon looks shocked, "I didn't know that."

I look at him not believing him but right now it is not the time to fight with him, "I need you to find what hospital she is in and move my flight to tonight." I demand and Simon nods his head.

Why didn't Anastasia tell me that her mother is sick? I hate that I can't be away from her and even though I'm still angry at her I'm about to get in a car and come to her. My love for her is bigger than my pride. I rush to my office and get my things. I need to go and be with Anastasia right now.


	48. Chapter Forty-Seven:

**CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN:**

"Anastasia... Anastasia." My father shakes me a little and I immediately wake up. I quickly sit up feeling the awful pain in my neck from the position I had fallen asleep in.

"Is she out of surgery?" I ask the question that scares me the most. I need to know that she is alright.

My exhausted father smiles at me and nods his head. I stand up and hug him knowing that we won't lose my mother. I feel so overwhelmed and I let the tears take over.

"Oh sweet girl please don't cry." He hugs me back and I let his love make me feel better, "Your mother is going to be just fine." He kisses my head and for the first time in a while I feel close to him. "The doctor said we can see her in a bit."

"That's great." I say as I clean my tears. The last ten hours were the worst hours of my life. Yet, things can get back to normal now. We can make sure our relationship gets better and I want to find a job so I can attend Harvard next year. The thought of the changes I want to make bring a smile to my face. However it soon turns to disbelieve when I see the man who I thought I had said goodbye to for good.

"Christian?" I call out and watch as he walks towards me. He is wearing black sweatpants and a matching hoodie with white nike shoes. He is as handsome as they come.He looks worried and without caring that my father is by my side he comes to me and takes me into his arms.

My father looks uncomfortable, "I will give you two a minute."

When my father has walked away I pull away from Christian needing to know what he is doing here. "What are you doing here?"

"I got your message." He says it sounding hurt.

"Oh?" I never imagined that all it would take was for me to message him a goodbye letter for him to face me.

"How is your mother?" He asks.

"She is doing fine, she just got out of surgery." I tell him feeling confused as to why he is really here, "How did you find out we were in this hospital?"

"Simon called around hospitals." he admits and the fact he took the time to figure out where I was makes me feel special.

"I thought you didn't want to see me again." I murmur.

Christian looks around the room like he just realize where he really is. I can see him beginning to feel uncomfortable at the people staring at him. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"

I nod my head knowing this could be the only chance I get to fix our relationship. Christian takes my hand and I follow him. We walk for a bit around the hospital until we find an empty room and we walk into it.

Christian stands in front of me and his hand makes its way to my cheek. He caresses it for a while giving me the love I have needed for the last two weeks. "I have missed you so much." his eyes look at mine as he says this and I know he really means it.

"I have missed you so much too." I fight the tears as I remember how miserable I have been without him. "I'm so sorry about everything."

"I know you are." he shyly smiles, "-and I know our relationship is complicated right now, but I needed to be here with you. If you want we can figure out everything once things are better."

I shake my head knowing I have a lot to explain to him, "I know I have a lot to explain and I want to do so." I tell him and begin to prepare myself to tell him how everything really went down.

"My grandfather was my best friend. I would spend a lot of my time with him when I wasn't at school or doing extra activities. He taught me the love of painting, he was a pro at it and in a way I think I got that from him." I say and Christian just listens to me, "My dream from a young age was to attend Harvard University and get a degree in Visual arts. My grandfather knew this and as I was the only grandchild he had saved every penny for me to attend it. When he passed away I learned that he had left me enough for tuition for Harvard-" I take a deep breath thinking about what I'm about to say next, but my mouth doesn't open as noises distract me.

The nosey part of me wants to know what's going on so I decide to investigate. I open the room door and catch people running down the hallway which it is unusual. Without saying anything to Christian I head out the room and my heart begins to beat fast when I see my father running behind the doctors. I don't think it twice and rush behind him; to my mothers room. Yet, we are soon being stopped from entering my mothers room by a nurse.

"What is going on?" I ask my father and he doesn't answer me. All I can see is the fear in his eyes.

I freak out the moment I feel a hand on my shoulder and soon realize it is Christian. I had forgotten he was here. My mind is running with multiple scenarios. I can't help it anymore and I begin to cry, I need to know that my mother is alright.

Christian takes me into his arms and I let the pain and fear take over. "I'm scared." I whisper to him and he kisses my head.

"I know you are." He holds me tight for what seems like a long time and I let him at least until the doctor walks out of the room. I pull away from Christian's hold hoping for good news.

I gaze at the doctor for any clue of what is going on, but I can't read his expresion. "I'm so sorry we did everything we could-"

A loud growl leaves my father's mouth and I rush to him. We both fall to the ground in pain.

"Mrs. Steele was prone to blood clots and we are certain one reached her heart. We won't know for sure until we perform an autopsy." The doctor says but at this moment we can't comprehend what he is saying. I hold my father tight and feel the pain breaking us.

"Once you are ready we have a few forms you need to sign so we can move the body." He tells us and I'm about to get up and scream at him for being so insensitive. However, Christian beats me to it.

"For fuck sake let them grieve." Christian yells at the asshole doctor.

"I'm sorry, take as much time as you need." he says and walks away which I'm thankful for.

"I need to see her." I let go of my father and stand up. I rush to the room and my heart breaks at the sight in front of me. Christian follows me into the room and grabs me by the arm but I yank it off his hold and get on the bed. I wrap my arms around my mother. She looks so pale and at peace. I cry and wish for this to be a dream.

"Anastasia-" Christian calls my name and all I want is for him to leave me alone with my mother.

"Please leave me alone." I tell him, but he doesn't move. "GET THE HELL OUT." I scream as loud as I can and he finally moves. He walks out of the door and closes it; leaving me to say goodbye to my mother.

 **A/N: O-M-G how sad is this chapter? I feel so bad for Anastasia.**


	49. Chapter Forty-Eight:

**CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT:**

 **Christian's P.O.V**

My heart breaks as I watch Anastasia hold her mother's lifeless body. She has been in the room with her for over an hour and the asshole doctor is getting inpatient to move the body. I want to punch him in the face and teach him to be patient.

Anastasia's father has also been standing just outside the room- without even blinking once. I want to help them out more but I don't know how.

"Mr. Steele you should sit down." I say, yet he doesn't even look at me. He is in his own world right now and I can't blame him. If I ever lost Anastasia I would be the same broken man.

Still I place my hand on his shoulder and show him that I'm here even though I don't know how to comfort someone. "I know you don't really know me, but I'm here to help you and Anastasia however you need me to."

He finally looks at me, "Funeral-" he whispers, "We need to arrange the funeral." he says and I nod my head.

"I will take care of it. All you need to worry about is yourself and Anastasia." I tell him.

"Oh God Anastasia where is she?" he asks me.

"She's in the room." I point towards it and his eyes fill with tears again. "You should be with her right now." I add.

He nods his head, "Thank you." he touches my arm and heads inside the room. I watch from the window and see him and Anastasia hug.

I reach for my phone as I watch them cry. I need to take care of all the arrangements to get Anastasia's mom moved. The phone rings couple of times and Simon finally answers.

"Mr. Grey your father is very angry-" I cut him off before he can tell me about how disappointed my father is for missing the meeting.

"Simon listen to me, I need you to make arrangements at the best funeral home for Mrs. Steele. I also need you to do all the paperwork at the hospital." I tell him needing him to take care of this.

"Wait, Anastasia's mother died?" he asks shocked.

"Yes. Please keep me posted once things are arranged." I tell him and hung up.

"Mr. Grey we can't wait any longer. We need to take the body." the red headed nurse asks for the second time.

"Can you give her a bit longer?" I ask her even though I know it's going to be the hardest thing. Anastasia doesn't want to let go and I hate to see her this broken.

"Unfortunately no. We need to get the body-"

"Mrs.Steele you mean." I'm angry at how inhuman they are being. She is still a person not just a body.

"Yes Mrs.Steele needs to be taken to the morgue so we can find out the reason for her passing. We are a teaching hospital and we-"

I cut her off again, "Fine, but it's not going to be easy." I say getting myself ready to head back into the room and get Anastasia to let them take the body.

The nurse opens the door and I follow her in. Anastasia looks at us and I know she knows what's about to happen.

"Is it time?" She looks at me and asks with tears in her eyes.

I nod my head and she hugs her mother tighter. She kisses her and finally stands up, "I love you. I will forever miss you." She whispers to her and finally walks to me. My arms wrap around her and she breaks down.

Mr. Steele sits beside his wife and kisses her forehead. He touches her hair in a very loving way. "I love you my sweet Lucy." with that he kisses her lips and stands up.

The nurse comes forward and pulls the blanket up to cover the body and begins to roll the bed out of the room.

"You two need rest." I tell Anastasia and her dad, "Come on I will take you two home." I take Anastasia's hand and we begin to walk. She doesn't say anything. I know she needs time to work through her feelings.

As we walk I turn around to make sure her dad is following us and I relax when I see him. I'm glad when we are in the parking lot and I see my car. I quickly open it and get Anastasia in. Then open the back for her father.

Once I'm in I go to insert the key to start the engine, but Anastasia stops.

"I can't go home." She tells me and I can see so much pain in her eyes, "I can't see her things right now."

I caress her cheek and nod my head. I think about it for a minute and soon know where I can take them.

~•~•~

Twenty minutes later we are pulling into my house.

"We are here." I tell Anastasia but she is sound asleep and I'm glad. She needs the rest.

Anastasia's dad gets out and I hand him the key to the house. He goes ahead to open the door while I carry Anastasia out of the car. She opens her eyes slightly as I take her into my arms but she is soon sleeping again.

"Who the hell are you?" I hear shouting so I rush to the door and find Elliott only wearing a pair of pajama pants and standing with a baseball bat. Fuck. I totally forgot that he is staying here.

"Elliott put that down." I yell.

"Christian what the hell?" He follows me inside and to the living room where I place Anastasia on the couch.

"Sorry if we scared you, I forgot you were staying here."

"Who are this people?" he looks at Anastasia's dad and seems confused.

"My girlfriend and her father." I tell him, then turn to Mr. Steele, "You can go lay down in the guestroom. It is up the stairs and the second door to the left."

Mr. Steele doesn't hesitate he goes to the stairs and up to the room.

"Christian what the hell is going on?" Elliott asks again.

"My girlfriends mother just died and they don't want to be in their house-- which has all her memories. I couldn't take them to a hotel because they shouldn't have to be in a hotel after what just happened to them. I know I told you that you could have this house, but we won't be here for long I promise."

Elliott runs a hand through his hair, "Shit, that's intense. Don't worry about it of course they can stay here."

"Thank you."

"Is this why you missed the meeting today?" he asks.

"Yes, I didn't know you were coming down for it." I say feeling confused.

"Everyone was there aside from you." he tells me and I wonder what the hell is going on. Still I can't worry about that right now. I have to make sure Anastasia is well before I even have the mind to think about anything else. "It was a very important meeting."

"We can talk about it later, I should take Anastasia up to the room." I tell him and begin to take Anastasia into my arms. Yet, Elliott stops me.

"Wait Christian you need to know what happened. Dad made us vote, he is selling the company." Elliott tells me and anger overwhelms me. It is time I face my father.

 **A/N: Please comment! I love to read your comments and it makes me want to continue to write. I will appreciate anything.**


	50. Chapter Forty-Nine:

**CHAPTER FORTY-NINE:**

The morning sun coming through the window wakes me up and I panic at my unknown surroundings. My body feels sore as if someone has just hit me over and over again. What the hell am I doing here? How did I get here? The last thing I can remember is being at the hospital waiting for my mother to get out of surgery. I need to get back to the hospital and make sure my mother is alright. I rapidly get up and begin to look for my shoes, until I finally remember why I am here. The room begins to get smaller and smaller until I am on the floor gasping for air.

My mother died... She died after her heart surgery. I cry with pain and fear of the unknown. My mother is gone and nothing will ever make this better.

The pain is unbearable and all I want to do is be alone but that wish is soon taken from me by the door opening and Christian rushing to me. He takes me into his arms and wrapped around him he picks me up and takes me to the bed never letting me go. I cry into his chest and let the smell of his cologne relax me for a minute. Christian kisses my forehead in a very protective, loving way. We stay quiet for a long time until noises from downstairs get our attention. Christian sets me on the bed and heads out of the room. Listening I hear my father's voice, he is angry and yelling at Christian.

Worried, I rush downstairs and find Christian taking away a bottle of whiskey from my father's hands. My father is crying and I know exactly how he feels. I know he is devastated at what happened. "What's going on?" I ask as I walk towards them. Yet, I already know what the problem is as I can smell the awful stink of alcohol coming from my father.

"Nothing sweetheart go back to bed." He tells me and I know he is drunk.

"Are you alright?" I ask the question you aren't supposed to ask when someone close has died.

My father laughs, "Am I alright?... No. the woman I have loved since we were fifteen years old just died. FUCKING GIVE ME BACK MY BOTTLE."

My heart is breaking at the man in front of me. He looks so broken and I know I need to stay strong for the both of us. "Perhaps we can make some coffee instead?" I say it looking towards Christian.

"Yes, that's a great idea." Christian goes along with it.

"NO, GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOTTLE." He screams at Christian and snaches the bottle out of his hand. "YOU TWO NEED TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE." He yells at us and heads to the door stumbling into everything that comes his way.

I rush to the door behind him, but he gives me a look that tells me I shouldn't follow him. I know he needs time alone to work through this but I don't think drinking is the smartest way to go about it. "Please stay here."

"NO, I NEED TO BE ALONE, DON'T FOLLOW ME.." He yells at me and soon he is gone.

I rush to Christian in need of him--I need him to hold me and never let me go. I bury my face in his chest and let the warmth of his body warm my cold dead body. Christian moves us to the couch and I place my head on his shoulder needing to rest for a minute. I close my eyes and let the love of him take care of me.

~•~•~

I once again wake up alone. I'm laying on the couch with a soft blanket on me and I know Christian did that. I decide to go look for him needing his body warmth again. Getting off the couch I head towards the kitchen in the hopes that he is there and to my luck I find him facing the stove, which I assume means he is cooking. He is shirtless and I can't help but stare at him. His hair is a bit longer then I remember and his body is bulkier than last time I saw him naked. He has changed quite a bit. I walk slow in hopes he won't hear me and come behind him wrapping my arms around his body. This makes him jump scared and I am shocked when he turns around.

I scream, "Who the hell are you?"and shout as I face this stranger. He is taller than Christian with warm light green eyes. His hair is dark brown and it is a mess.

"Elliott," he answers holding a spatula.

He begins to move forward to me, but I quickly reach for a knife from the knife holder beside me. "Don't you dare come closer." I hiss not about to die today.

"Oh God Anastasia put the knife down." Christian runs into the kitchen scared at the scene in front of him, "He's my brother Elliott."

I look confused I knew Christian had a brother but it isn't him. The man I met was a jerk. "No, I met your brother."

"I'm the younger brother."Elliott tells me as he can see I'm confused.

"I'm so sorry." I put the knife down feeling so stupid, "I thought you had broken in."

"I live here." he tells me and now I feel like I need to leave here.

"What?" wasn't this Christian's house?

"Elliott is staying here for a while."

"Oh."

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you need, but please don't pull out a knife on me again." he laughs a little.

I nod my head. My stomach grumbles at the smell coming from the stove. Elliott sees me staring at his food and smiles.

"Would you like one? I'm making a grilled cheese sandwich."

I nod my head. Yet again not feeling like expressing my needs with words. For all I know he already thinks I'm crazy.

"What about you Christian?" Elliott points at Christian with the spatula, "Grilled cheese sandwich or are you still scared of them?" he laughs.

"I was never scared of them." Christian tells him off, "I just don't like the flavorless yellow cheese you use."

I watch as they both playfully argue for a minute. I love the way Christian is with Elliott and I can see they have a close relationship. I stay still listening until Christian's phone rings and he leaves the room making me feeling like he is hiding something from me. He has never done that before and has always been very open about that. Without hesitation I follow him and hide so he can't see me.

"I told you not to call me at this number... Yes I'm with her-"

I listen to his conversation without getting caught. Who is he talking to? Is Christian seeing someone else? I fight the tears and walk past him wanting him to know that I heard him.

"Anastasia WAIT," He screams after me but I don't stop.

A/N: Hello, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please if you have a minute comment.


	51. Chapter Fifty:

**CHAPTER FIFTY:**

I have never been a runner- not even the occasional stress relief run kind. Yet, last night I dreamed of running longer, faster then I have ever wanted to before. Today is my mothers funeral and all I want to do is disappear into a place where the pain disappears. Where I disappear.

A knock on the door gets me out of my thoughts momentarily.

"Anastasia open the door please."

I rushed into my room last night and I haven't left or opened the door. I am in no mood to discuss what Christian is hiding from me right now. All I want to do is sleep for a long time.

"Anastasia," He sounds irritated. "I have given you space but I'm going to open the door now." he isn't asking. I hear a key insert and I know I'm seconds from seeing him.

"What Christian?" I answer a bit angrier than I should.

"I know you must be wondering-"

"I don't care about anything that doesn't have to do with me sleeping right now." I hiss at him not letting him finish his sentence.

"But-"

"But nothing can you please let me sleep!"

"Fine," Christian rans a hand through his hair and exhales loudly, "You can have one more hour. Then you have to get ready." He places a bag down on the chair in the corner. "A dress for you to wear is in the bag. I will be downstairs, let me know if you need me."

I nod my head, but I won't need him.

He looks at me one last time and comes near me, "I love you." Kissing my forehead, he finally walks to the door and leaves the room.

I lay on the bed until my phone rings. Can people just leave me alone? I fight the urge to break it and instead pick it up from the table beside the bed. I'm shocked at the name that pops up on the screen. Paisley. What the hell does she want? I let it go to voicemail not wanting to hear from her. After all she took Henry's side.

~•~•~

"My sweet Anastasia it's time to get up." My eyes open to a low soothing voice. Christian is sitting on the bed next to me rubbing my cheek gently. "How about a warm bath?"

I nod my head not being able to put words together.

Christian smiles when I agree, "Great, I'll go set it up for you."

As he goes to stand up I reach for his hand and stop him from leaving, "Can you stay with me?" I ask not wanting to be alone anymore.

"Yes of course anything you need baby."

"Thank you." I weakly smile.

"I'll be right back." he tells me and disappears into the bathroom. Soon I hear the water running and I sit up on the bed. I know I need to get up but my body is numb. I still can't believe my mother is gone.

Christian soon returns and helps me off the bed. Holding on to him I make my way to the bathroom and stop a few feet from the bathtub. I gaze at it. It is different and I can't deny I like it.

The black egg shaped bathtub is full of bubbles and I can't wait to get in. "Can you help me undress?" I ask Christian and he nods his head.

"Arms up," he says and I put my arms up. He pulls off my nightgown and I'm soon just standing in my panties. He kneels down and pulls them down slowly.

When I'm fully naked he helps me into the bathtub and sits down beside it. I lean back and close my eyes for a moment.

"Can I ask you something?" I say needing to make sense of things.

"Of course you can. You can ask me anything."

"Who were you talking to last night on the phone?" I ask him hoping he will be truthful.

"Anastasia we don't have to talk about that right now." he tells me.

"But we do Christian." I tell him needing to start fixing my life. I feel like everything is out of control and nothing will ever be the same.

"I don't want you to get upset." his eyes never leave mine as he says this.

"Can't you see I'm already upset? All I need right now is Clarity."

"Fine," Christian brings a hand up to his hair and takes a deep breath, "It was Ruby."

Shocked I stay quiet. I expected anyone but her. "You have been talking to her?"

"Yes, but it's not what it seems." he admits.

"Then how is it Christian?" I need to know what really is going on with them. Did he end up being with her after he broke up with me?

"Well I went looking for her because I needed her to stay away from us. I wanted to yell at her, but I didn't find her at the shop she works at."

"You went looking for her?" I ask needing to know more.

"Yes the first time."

"How many times have you seen her?" I ask terrified. I know he loved this woman.

"A couple. She wanted to apologize for what she did." he answers.

"A couple can be two or more... so how about you give me a number." my voice raised.

"If you really need a number I guess five times." he admits

I look away needing a minute to gather my thoughts. I can't believe he has been in contact with the woman who caused him the scars on his face.

I take a long deep breath and bring my eyes back to face his, "Do you love her still Christian?" I ask the one question that has been running through my mind for a while now.

Christian stays quiet for a minute his eyes move down to his hands, "I don't love her the way I love you. I can't deny she is someone I deeply loved once. But I would never want to hurt you in any way Anastasia."

"Did you sleep with her?" I spit out the question I know can end us.

"Of course not Anastasia."

"Do you want to?"

Christian immediately shakes his head, "No I don't."

"Why did she call you yesterday?"

"She wants to see me before I move to London." he admits and I feel angry. How dare she try and get close to him again after what she did.

"Are you going to see her?" I ask him needing him to be completely honest with me.

"No." he firmly says and I feel relief.

I once again lean my head back and close my eyes. I don't want to continue with this topic and I'm glad he was honest with me. I know I need to keep a close eye on Ruby. I will not lose Christian once more.

 **A/N: Please comment for me.**


	52. Chapter Fifty-one:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE:**

I release a long, loud piercing cry with irritation. Damn this zipper. Why did I agree to get dress? Giving up on the zipper I continue to look at myself in the mirror. I gaze at the pale, brown haired girl gazing back at me.

"Do you need help?" Christian asks and I nod my head. He gets closer to me and helps me zip up my black dress--The one he had bought for me, for my mother's funeral. It's beautiful with long sleeves and lace. My mother would of had loved it.

Christian kisses my neck before he steps back and I catch him looking at me through the mirror. "Thank you." I shyly say.

"You look beautiful." he says as he pulls me closer to him by my waist. I finally gaze at him and he is looking very handsome. He is wearing a black suit with a simple white dressy shirt and black tie. I love how confident he has become. He no longer hides his face from me and is willing to go in public. He has changed for me and I want to do the same for him.

"You look very handsome." I grab his arms and tightly wrapped them on me. I'm so thankful he's here with me.

He smiles at me and kisses my temple, "How about you finish getting ready. We need to leave soon."

I nod my head and he retrieves his arms from my waist, "Wait, Christian-"

He turns around and looks surprised, "Yes?"

"Thank you for being here for me." I truthfully tell him, "I love you."

Without hesitation he comes back to where he was standing near me and crashed his lips on mine. When he finally pulls away we are both out of breath, "I love you Anastasia and I will always be here for you, you know that right?"

I nod my head truly knowing he would. After being through this with me I know nothing will stand between us. I know we still need to figure out our issues but for right now I'm thankful for his company and compassion.

I hold Christian's hand as we enter the funeral home. A lot of people have showed up to say goodbye to my mother and I suddenly feel like leaving.

I try to let go off Christian's hand but he holds mine tight as if he knows what I'm about to do.

"Everything will be alright love." he squeezes it a little and then brings it up to his lips and plants a kiss on it.

I nod my head hoping he is right, but I'm counting the minutes until I can leave and not have to be around people.

I finally let myself look at the room and realize that Christian has bought a lot of white lilies which were my mother's favorite flowers. She would of had loved them. I take a deep breath before I let myself break down in tears.

"Come on let's go take our seat." Christian leads us to the front of the room and to the first road of chairs.

"Christian, where is my dad?" I ask him looking around needing to know he is okay.

Christian looks at me with pain in his eyes, "He didn't want to come."

"What?" How could he not want to be here?

"I think we need to find your father help." he tells me, "He has been drinking for days."

"I need to see him." I tell him and he nods his head. The room starts to go quiet and I know the funeral is starting. I grab Christian's hand again and prepared myself for this.

~•~•~

Ace of Clubs is a small bar in a dangerous part of Chicago. I hold on to Christian's hand as we make our way into the bar.

My eyes gaze around the room looking for my dad and my heart breaks when I find him. He is sitting on one of the bar stools in the bar isle and his head is down resting on his arms. He looks dirty and tired.

"We need to take him out of here." I tell Christian and he agrees with me.

I begin to walk towards him and stand beside him. "Dad." I call to him, but he is too out of it. I touch his shoulder and that makes him freak out.

"Who the fuck is touching me?" he yells.

"Dad it's me Anastasia."

"Anastasia?" he says my name and now he is finally looking at me. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here to take you home Dad." I go to touch his arm to help him up, but he yanks it out of my hold.

"don't touch me. I'm not going anywhere." he screams at me.

"Dad you need help." I tell him but he isn't having it.

He stands up and that makes Christian pull me closer to him. Like he is afraid my father will hurt me.

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE." He screams and begins to walk away. I follow him and that just makes him angrier. "I never want to see you again. You remind me of her too much."

My heart breaks as I hear him say that. I don't follow him anymore. He walks to the bathrooms and I rush into Christian's arms. "Get me out of here please." I tell him and he does just that.

When we are out of the bar and walking back to the car Christian stops me. "You know he didn't mean that right?"

I nod my head wiping my tears, "but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt."

Christian once again takes me into his arms, "I think it's time we get out of here."

I look at him, "I thought that's what we were doing?"

"I mean, I think you should come with me to London for a few days and get some distance."

I stay quiet for a bit contemplating it. Perhaps space could give me the clarity I need. "I think that's a great idea." I weakly smile at him.

 **A/n: Please comment**


	53. Chapter Fifty-Two:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO:**

"Come on let's get out of here." Christian says and we make our way to the car. However, before I get into the car I take a good last look at the bar and my heart breaks for my father. I wish things could be different. With one last look behind me I get into the car.

Once I'm sitting inside Christian pulls me closer to him and kisses my head. "Is it alright if I ask now?"

I nod my head.

"How are you feeling?" he asks the question I know he has been avoiding asking. I know he is trying to give me some space.

"I'm worried about my father." I admit wishing I hadn't agreed to the trip to London already. "Perhaps I shouldn't go to London with you and stay with him."

"I think he just needs time right now. I paid one of the bartenders to take him home. He will be safe."

"I know you're right and thank you for doing that, but it doesn't make this easier. I want him to be okay. I know it's going to be a while until we can both be alright again."

"How about for the rest of tonight we don't think about that?"

"That sounds good to me." I fake a smile and lean my head back. "I still want to go to London with you." I whisper to Christian and he smiles at me. "Will you show me the city?"

"Of course baby."

I weakly smile at him again and turn my gaze back to the window. We stay quiet for a while until the quietness gets to be too much for me.

"Do you believe in Heaven?" I let the words leave my mouth needing to know his view of this subject.

"What?" he asks confused.

"Do you believe that our souls get to rest in a peaceful place?"

"To be honest yes, I believe we all have a different type of Heaven. One where our loved ones can meet us at when they are ready. I think your mother is in a beautiful place right now waiting for the day you two can see each other."

As I listen to Christian tears form in my eyes and I can't hold it in. I wrap myself around him as best as I can in this car, "I love you so much."

"I love you too Anastasia."

"Thank you for the beautiful words." I kiss his cheek.

"Anything for you sweetheart." Christian inserts the key to the engine and we leave this awful place.

Christian opens the car door for me as we arrive back at the house. I'm feeling worried for my father. I have never seen him in this much pain before, but he has never gone through something as hard as losing the woman he loved. I attempt to make up a plan to help him through this awful time. Yet, I come empty handed. I'm going through the same thing and I don't know how to help myself.

"He is going to be fine." Christian tells me as if he can read my troubled mind, "He needs time and you know he didn't mean what he said."

"You're right. I'm just really worried." I whisper. My family has forever been destroyed and I'm afraid for what the next few years will mean for me and my father. My mother was the one who kept this family strong.

"I know you are and I understand. However, you need to let time heal the wounds."

I go to say something but a single yan escapes my mouth instead and Christian takes my hand squeezing it tightly, "Lets get you inside and to bed."

"Great, but..." I stop myself.

"But?"

"I'm starving." I admit feeling embarrassed.

"How about we make Luca hit a mcdonalds? Maybe a greasy burger?" he laughs and it is music to my sad ears.

"He won't mind?" I ask feeling like we are intruding into Luca's life.

"He won't mind, don't worry baby." He kisses my temple.

"Great...I'm starving." I admit feeling embarrassed. "I think I will have a strawberry milkshake too."

"I'm glad you are getting your appetite back." he smiles at me.

"Come on Mr. Smiley let's get inside." I stick my tounge out at him. It has been a long exhausting day. All I want to do is take a hot shower, eat and sleep. I patiently wait behind Christian as he enters the key into the door. However before we can even enter the house a shadow coming from the side of the house scares me.

"Christian." I call his name before he walks into the house in the hopes that he will tell me I'm imagining things, that the lack of sleep is not making me see what I think I'm seeing. Yet, soon the shadow becomes clear and I'm surprised at who is standing in front of me.

"Paisley" I ask shocked.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you." She says and I can't help but notice how different she looks. She is definitely not the happy, bubbly girl I remember.

"What are you doing here?" I ask curious.

"I was wondering if we could talk?" She asks me.

"How did you know I'm staying here?" I ask needing to know how she found out.

"I followed Christian's car from the funeral home." she whispers. "I just need a minute of your time."

"I'm not sure that is a good idea right now." I angrily spit out.

"I tried calling, but you aren't answering me." She whispers again and she seems troubled.

"Can you blame me? After what you did, I don't really have anything to say to you."

"Please Anastasia."

I stare at her and I want to say no. Yet, I nod my head in agreement.

"Come in." I tell her but Christian looks at me with a worried look not moving from the spot he is, which is blocking the entrance. I know he worries about her.

"Anastasia are you sure this is what you want or need right now?"

I touch his hand and nod, "It will be fine."

"Fine, but I'm staying in the room."

I love that he has not left my side since my mother died and even though we had problems he has been able to put them aside to be here for me. But I need to do this alone, "How about you go see about the McDonald's."

Christian doesn't move, "Anastasia-"

"Please." I say and that finally makes him leave.

"Have a seat Paisley." I tell her and I'm surprised at how calm I am being. I think after losing my mother I know that life is not guaranteed and you should not live with resentment.

"Thanks, this house is amazing." She sits on the couch and I sit on the opposite side. "Anyways first of all I'm sorry about your mom, I know I can't possibly understand what your going through-"

"Thanks." I quietly say not wanting to get into that right now.

"If you need anything let me know," She tells me and that irritates me.

"Paisley please stop acting as if you are my friend." I hiss, after all she did betray me.

"I was your best friend Anastasia." she sadly tells me.

"But you aren't anymore." I add.

"I know and that hurts me. I want to explain everything to you."

"Actually I'm really tired. I think this was a mistake-" I stand up and I see Paisley panic. "I need you to leave now."

"No. I'm not going until you listen to me." she raises her voice and that has Christian rushing into the room.

"You heard her, you need to leave now." Christian tells her, but she isn't moving.

I walk past her in my way to the stairs needing to get to the room not wanting to deal with her anymore.

"Henry had a sex tape of me and him." paisley blurs out and I turn around horrified.


	54. Chapter Fifty-Three:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE:**

"What the hell are you even talking about Paisley?" I ask shocked. I know I hate Henry now, but I used to have the biggest crush on him and Paisley had known this since elementary school.

"Henry had a tape of us having sex." Paisley clarifies to me.

"I obviously know what a sex tape means." I hiss angrier now, does she think I'm stupid?

"When did you sleep with him?" I ask the million dollar question not that even matters anymore.

"A year ago." She murmurs looking down at the floor.

"I can't believe this-" I run my shaky hand through my hair so that I won't punch her.

"I know you won't forgive me, but this is why I had to pretend to be friends with him and be mean to you. He told me he would show it to you and I knew you could eventually forgive me for being his friend, but you would never forgive me for breaking girl code."

I laugh, "Do you even know what girl code is?"

"Anastasia of course I know what girl code means. I made an awful mistake, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I want us to be friends again." she pleas.

"I NEED YOU TO LEAVE NOW." I yell. I can't believe I used to think she was my best friend.

"Anastasia please, I can't lose you." She comes near me, but I move back.

"It's too late for you to worry about that now." I hiss.

"Please-" She rushes to me and grabs my arm.

"Enough Paisley, stop embarrassing yourself." I tell her and begin to walk away needing to be far away from her.

"WELL I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU FORGIVE ME." She yells after me and I don't give her the pleasure to even look back at her. I look at Christian and he knows I need him to take care of her before I lose my mind and attack her.

"Anastasia?" Christian comes into my room ten minutes later and I run towards him and wrap my arms around him.

"Did she leave?"

He nods his head and holds me tighter.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." He kisses my forehead.

"Me too." I admit, " I don't even recognise her anymore." I add.

"Do you think you two can be friends again eventually?" He asks and the simple question gets me mad.

"I rather not think about that right now." I angrily answer him, "How about you tell me about our trip instead... when do we leave?"

"I was thinking we could leave tomorrow morning so that I have enough time to prepare for my meeting on Monday."

"Great, I'm so ready to leave this town."

"I know it has been hard being here and you are ready to forget about everything going on, but before we go there is things that need to be talked about."

"Oh?"

"We need to talk about Harvard."

"What about Harvard?" I asked confused of course I'm not going to attend anymore.

"You need to arrange your living accommodations. Also, you need to start thinking about what you will need for first day of classes."

I take a step away from him needing some air," I'm not going to Harvard."

"What do you mean your not going to Harvard?" he asks furious.

"I mean I'm no longer interested in Harvard." I swallow hard afraid of his response.

"Are you fucking kidding me Anastasia?" he raises his voice and I'm confused as to why he is acting this way.

"Christian just drop it. I honestly don't want to get into this right now." I feel myself getting loud too now.

"Well it's too late now, we are getting into this issue. I let it go because your mother had just died, but it's time." Christian's face is giving nothing away.

"Do you really want to do that right now?" I push, if he is looking for a fight he will get one.

"You decided to make a profile on a dating site to get someone to pay for your schooling and now that you accomplished that you don't even want it." He is getting louder.

I try to hide my hurtness of the words that are coming out of his mouth."I'm not doing this right now." I go to walk out of the room, but before I can fully open the door he pushes it close. I turn around and he is inches away from me. I can feel his hot breath on me and can smell his cologne.

"You almost ruined our relationship." He exclaims, "The least I deserve is to be told why you have change your mind."

"Christian," I say his name quietly as I turn around to face him.

His eyes look darker and I can see he is angry, "you wanted to use me."

"I'm sorry." I tell him truly meaning it.

"The worst part is that I'm so in love with you and can't let you go." he sounds hurt.

"I'm in love with you too and as soon as I realized that things changed. I never actually asked you for the money." I clarify.

My heart is beating fast and I know he noticed how nervous I am at having him so close. My eyes move to his lips and all I want is for him to push me against this door and kiss me hard.

Christian doesn't say anything but continues to stare at me, "Would you have went with any man that had offered you the money?"

I shake my head, "I was about to delete my profile when I got your message."

"You were?" he sounds relieve.

"Yes. I had changed my mind." I add.

"Why didn't you told me as soon as the feeling developed?" he asks hurt.

"I was scared you would leave me and I would never see you again." I truthfully answer him, "I was selfish."

"Yes you were. I made it clear to you that I didn't like lies. A part of me is telling me to walk away from you before you hurt me again. But the other part is telling me to stay and let my heart love you with everything I have to give." his eyes never leave mine as the words leave his mouth.

My heart is beating fast and hard. "Which side are you going to choose?"

His hand moves up to my neck and without warning he pulls me in. His lips crash into mine and I let myself go. The pain stops for a moment and all that matters is our love.

Christian pulls away and without saying anything he takes my hand. He leads us to the end of the bed and once again takes my lips. This time it feels more carnal. His hand moves to my back and he unzips my dress. It slides off my body without any problem. Christian then pulls his lips away from mine and bends down pulling my panties with him. I slowly step out of them and I let a little moan out when his mouth kisses my thighs and makes his way higher until I am shaking with pleasure.

Christian pulls away when I feel my orgasm building and I pout. He kisses my lips and without warning takes me into his arms and lays me on the bed. He quickly removes his clothing and before I know it he is breaking open a condom with his teeth and putting it on.

I feel expose laying naked before him. I attempt to pull the covers over me but he stops me. "don't ever cover yourself. You're beautiful and never forget it." He tells me looking into my eyes.

I nod my head and he lays beside me. I wonder if he has changed his mind? But before I can ask any questions he is pulling me on top of him.

I feel nervous. I begin to move up and down and soon get a rhythm going. I let myself go and begin to pick up my speed. Before I know it Christian is sitting up and resting his back to the bed frame. He pulls me closer and I continue to do what I was doing.

"am I doing it right?" I shyly ask as I bite my lip.

Christian doesn't answer instead a moan leaves his mouth and his teeth make their way to my neck. He bites it gently and before I know it my body is shaking with pleasure.

~•~•~

"Anastasia what do you honestly want?" Christian asks me as he pulls me closer to him. We are naked in bed and I feel at peace for now.

"I'm honestly not sure." I tell him the truth even if that's not what he wants to hear. "Harvard has been my dream since I was a little girl, but the thought of facing it without my mother is scary."

"I think your mom would of had liked to see you follow your dreams Anastasia." he tells me and I know he is right, but that doesn't make this decision easier.

"I know, but I would have to move and be away from my dad... and you." I don't want to think about it as it upsets me.

Christian turns me around to face him and his eyes meet mine. "I'm barely ever in Chicago anymore since I'm working in London. I can flight back and forth from Cambridge, and you can come visit your father on your breaks."

I gaze into his hopeful eyes and know that he is ready to make this work for me. "Christian, I love you." I bury my face into the nape of his neck.

"I love you too baby." he holds me tight, "How about you keep thinking about it?"

I nod my head thankful. When I have build up enough courage I pull away from his warm body. "There is something I want to say to you." pulling the blankets up, I cover myself and sit up. "I want to apologize for what I did. I was stupidly blinded with the need of Harvard and didn't care about using anyone if it meant getting what I wanted."

"Anastasia-"

I stop him, "However, I'm thankful that I got to meet you and that you are a part of my life. I regret how things started, but I don't regret where we are now."

Christian doesn't say anything and I'm afraid I have upset him again. But before I can say something else he pulls me and I land back in his arms. He kisses my lips with a hunger I didn't think he still had after the wild sex we had, "Christian we need to pack for tomorrow." I tell him knowing where this is heading.

"I know," he says not stopping, "It won't take long."

before I can say something else he is climbing on top of me and I know we are going to be up until late.

~•~•~

"HELLO?" My eyes open to a noise coming from the bedroom door, "Are you two alive?"

I look around the room and my eyes set on the clock beside me. It is 9 am. Fuck. We are supposed to be boarding a plane in an hour. I immediately shake Christian but he isn't having it. We were up until late making love and packing.

"Well I'm glad I could help." Elliott laughs, "How is it that I'm the responsible one now?"

"Get out Elliott." Christian hisses.

"Fine, I just wanted to let you two know your car is here."

Christian crawls annoyed, "tell the driver to wait."

"Sure, I'm the bearer of bad news."Elliott doesn't say anything else and walks away.

I rush off the bed and grab a pair of light blue skinny jeans and a simple black t-shirt. I put on my black and white converses and decide my hair will have to go up on a ponytail for now.

Sitting on the bed I watch Christian get ready. He is matching me with a pair of blue jeans, white t-shirt and black hoodie. He is so handsome. I watch as he reaches for his sunglasses and puts them on.

"Are you ready?" He asks me.

I nod my head. I'm so thankful Christian had made sure to get all my stuff from my house and we had packed everything yesterday. So now we don't have to rush and do that.

"We should get going before we miss the plane." he tells me and I know he is right. I grab my purse and he takes care of the luggage.

Before we walk out of the house I make my way to the kitchen where Elliott is. He is still wearing his pajamas and I can't deny he is very handsome. He turns around and stares at me.

"I just wanted to say thank you for everything." I tell him feeling shy. "It really meant a lot to me." I add.

Elliott smiles at me, "No problem. You're a part of the family now and I got your back."

I really like that he thinks I'm a part of the family now. "Well I hope to be able to return the favour sometime soon." I smile at him and with that Christian walks into the kitchen.

"We have to go Anastasia."

I nod my head and quickly hug Elliott. Christian is surprised at my sudden show of affection.

"Well you two have fun on your trip." Elliott let's go of me as he says that and Christian takes my hand.

"Thanks for everything Elliott. I'll be back in two weeks take care of the house for me." Christian tells him and Elliott nods his head.

"Alright Anastasia let's go before the driver loses all his patience and leaves us."

I laugh and follow him to the front door excited for our trip.


	55. Chapter Fifty-four:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR:**

"Anastasia," Christian calls my name and I pull myself away from the floor-length window that showcases the beautiful city of London. We have been here for a day and I can't picture myself ever leaving.

"Yes?" I ask as he walks towards me, wondering what he wants and why he is looking so handsome. He is wearing a dark blue suit with a crisp white shirt and a cute black tie.

"I need to go into the office," His hand makes its way to my waist and he pulls me closer moving his face to the nape of my neck.

"No." I sharply answer. I need him here with me so he can show me around this beautiful city.

"I have the meeting with my father today." He tells me, and I finally remember that this is why we are here. However, I still wish he didn't have to leave me. I'm not ready to let him out of our bubble.

"Can you cancel it?" I smile knowing very well he can't.

"I wish sweetheart, but I can't." He turns me around and his lips kiss mine gently and I can't be mad at him.

"Fine, but rush back please."

"I will. I'll be done by seven and we can have dinner together." He kisses me one more time, "Wear something pretty." He winks at me and grabs his stuff.

"I'll see what I can do Mr. Grey."

Smiling he walks out of the hotel room and I'm left standing for a few minutes wondering what I should do. I can possibly go out and explore the city, but I'm still tired from the flight. Perhaps a nice hot bath would help? I decide that's a great idea.

While the water fills the tub, I look around for a book or something to read. I wish I had brought a book with me. I decide to grab my phone and do a bit of trashy magazine reading.

When the bathtub is ready, I get in and begin to search the web. Ten minutes of reading about the kardashians and I am done with the gossip. I think of interesting things to search and Christian's name comes to mind. My eyes go wide when the Grey Publishing company comes up. I begin to read it extremely interested. Until I see a news article that makes me confused.

Grey Publishing is being sold. Christian never told me about it. Perhaps he doesn't even know.

I throw my phone on the ground when I hear noise coming from outside the bathroom.

"Anastasia?" Christian's voice fills the room and I panic.

He soon opens the bathroom door. "I forgot a manuscript-" he stops and smiles when he sees me in the bathtub.

"Are you alright?" He asks picking up my phone from the floor.

"Yes it slipped out of my hand." I tell him hoping he won't turn it around and look at what I was reading. I hope he doesn't know this is happening, I know it will devastate him. My heart breaks knowing this is what he is about to finding out.

"So have you seen it?" he asks me.

Confused I look at him, "I-"

"Anastasia did you see the manuscript or not?"

"I think I saw it on the bedside table."

"Great, thank you. I will see you tonight." he bends down, kisses my forehead and thankfully hands my phone back without looking at it.When he has walked out, I take a deep breath feeling angry for him. He's about to lose his job.

Applying a good amount of burgundy red lip gloss I feel anxious. I know the moment Christian walks through those doors he will be angry and hurt. Yet, I'm determined to try and fix this awful night for him.

I take a last look in the mirror and fix my burgundy red skirt which I have paired it with a black long sleeve blouse. My hair is pulled back into a classy ponytail and I feel beautiful for the first time in the last two weeks.

I feel guilty for moving on with my life. I should be with my father trying to help him cope with the idea of not having my mother with us. I know he needs time and so do I, but I wish things could be easier. I wish she was still here with me. All I want to do is pick up the phone and call her. I want to tell her all about London. She would of loved it here.

I'm soon brought out of my thoughts when I hear Christian walk in. I fix my skirt one last time and head to the living room. The moment he sees me he rushes to me and grabs me. I'm soon being lifted off the floor and I giggle. This is not what I was expecting.

"You're making me dizzy." I say between giggles.

He kisses my lips and puts me down, "Are you ready?"

I nod my head needing to know what's going on.

"Great, we need to celebrate." He grabs my hand and leads me out of the hotel room and down the hallway to the elevator. When the doors close he pushes me against the wall and kisses me.

I pull away fighting for air, "What's going on Christian?"

"You're not going to believe what I just did." He says with a smile on his face.

"What did you do?" I want him to stop with the mystery.

"I bought Grey Publishings." He runs a hand through his hair as his beautiful smile takes over his face.

I'm shocked and excited for him. Yet, I wonder what this means for us? Will this make it harder for him to go back and forth from here to Cambridge?

I stay quiet taking this in and I'm glad he doesn't notice my reaction. The doors to the elevator open and he takes my hand. He rushes us through the lobby and out to the beautiful warm air. I inhale a deep breath and hope for the best. I know I need to be happy for him and let the worriedness of what will happen for later.

"I made reservations at this amazing restaurant." He tells me as he rushes me into a black SUV. "You're going to love it."

I smile politely and gaze out the window. I have been here a day and I already know that I don't want to leave. I have fallen in love with this beautiful city and the man who's sitting beside me.

Before I can stop myself I'm saying the words out loud, "I want to stay-"

Christian turns around and gazes at me, "What do you mean?"

I clear my throat and meet his eyes, "I want to stay here with you. I'm not going to attend Harvard University in the fall."

"Anastasia?"

"Listen to me, we are happier when we are together. I can't go back and do school without you near me. I love this city and you and I want to stay. You won't be able to change my mind so don't even try."

Christian stays quiet and then nods his head. I smile and kiss his lips. I'm thankful he's not fighting me over this and for the first time in the last two weeks I look forward to spending the summer here with him and figuring out a life with him here.


	56. Chapter Fifty-Five:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE:**

Bread Street Kitchen is not what I had pictured the moment I saw it when the driver pulls into the corner to let us out. Yet, I'm excited to try this well known restaurant. After watching season after season of Gordon Ramsay's hell kitchen show I'm excited to try something he created.

"Ready?" Christian asks and I nod my head. He takes my hand and helps me out of the SUV. I take a moment to fan girl and then cool myself. I know the chances of me meeting Gordon Ramsay are slim but I'm hoping in the odd chance my bad luck might change and he's in there that I'll come up with a few questions to ask him.

"Alright, I'm ready." I tell him and we walk into the cozy restaurant.

The restaurant is full of white, yellow and black colors. There is yellow booths and cozy black tables. We decide to pick one of the yellow booths wanting to be close to each other. Holding hands we follow the hostess as she walks us to it.

"This place is amazing," I tell Christian feeling overwhelmingly excited.

"I'm glad you like it." He tells me but I know he did this on purpose. He knows how much I love watching Gordon Ramsay's shows.

"Hey, listen I think we need to talk about what you said in the car." He touches my hand and I quickly remove it from his hold. I can tell where this is going and if he knows best he better drop this conversation. I'm not going to change my mind.

"I'm not talking about that anymore. I made my decision and I hope you can respect it." I firmly tell him hoping he will drop it. the last thing I want to do right now is talk about this.

"Anastasia-"

I'm thankful when the waiter arrives for a split second until I notice her wondering eyes looking at Christian. He immediately lowers his face as he often does when he feels uncomfortable. I hate that he feels embarrassed about his scars.

"Hi welcome to Bread Street kitchen can I get you something to drink to start?" She says trying to get a better look at his face.

I clear my throat and she finally moves her eyes into my direction.

"I'll have the try harder." I tell her knowing very well that the drinking age in London is eighteen. How can I not want to live here?

"I'll have a scotch on the rocks."

"Very well, I'll be back with your drinks shortly." She goes to look at Christian again but I once again clear my throat and I know she understand I'm not about to allowed her to make him uncomfortable again.

"You're drinking?" Christian asks confused.

"Yes, I'm allowed too." I smirk.

He laughs. "I thought you were going to attack the waiter."

"I hate when they make you uncomfortable." I mumble embarrassed.

"Thank you for being protective of me." He takes my hand once more and kisses it.

"I'll always protect you Christian, you mean so much to me." I squeezed his hand. I'm suddenly pulling my hand away when the rude waiter comes back with our drinks and I roll my eyes at her.

"Are you ready to order?" She asks me not even looking at Christian which I know has to do with me.

"I'll have the beef wellington." I say excited to try it after all the episodes I watched of chefs burning it or undercocking it.

"Make it two and a side of your truffled brie mashed potatoes." Christian tells her and she shyly smiles at him and leaves.

When she is gone Christian looks at me, "Can you tell me at least what made you decide that?"

I look confused, "Decide?"

"That you want to stay here with me." he clarifies.

"I love you isn't that enough?"

He takes a sip of his scotch and stares at me, "What about your dreams?"

"Dreams evolve." I quickly answer.

"Alright." He takes a deep breath and smiles at me.

"Can we enjoy this place now or does Mr. hundred questions needs to ask something else?"

He puts his hands in the air with a show of surrender. I giggle and take a sip of my drink and let the refreshing taste of the cranberry and apple sparkling drink take me out of my problems and keep me in the now. I lick my lips when our food arrives and I get myself ready to try this delicious food.

~•~•~

I'm tipsy the moment we get back to the lobby of the hotel. The dinner went fantastic even though we didn't meet Gordon Ramsay.

"Come on my drunk sexy Anastasia." He takes my hand and walks me to the elevator. When we are inside it I throw myself at him. My hands wander all over his body as my lips nibble on his neck and make their way to his lips.

"We should do it right here." I whisper and he looks shocked.

"Anastasia we can't."

"Why not? it will be fun." I move my hand to his belt but he stops me from unbuckling it.

He grabs me by the waist and spins me around making my back face his front. I laugh. "Come on stop playing and give me the lovings."

He's the one laughing now, "We need to get you to bed sweetheart." He kisses my head and I melt in his arms.

I'm glad when the elevator doors are opening because the room is starting to spin. I feel sick to my stomach and Christian rushes me out of the elevator and to the room. The moment we walk in I run to the bathroom and empty my stomach regretting the many drinks I had.

"You still want me to give you the lovings?" Christian smirks at me and I roll my eyes.

Before I can say anything sarcastic back my head is turning back to the toilet and my early delicious dinner leaves my body. Christian leaves the bathroom and I worry I have grossed him out, but soon he comes back with a cloth. He wets it slightly and brings it to my forehead. I smile thankful and attempt to get up. However, I'm soon holding on to Christian as everything is spinning.

"Come on, I'll put you to bed." Christian grabs me by the waist and helps me to the bed. I don't fight him knowing sleep will help me.

When we arrive at the bed he sits me down and takes off my heels. Then he unbuttoned my blouse and moved on to my skirt. Before he can take my bra I flap on the bed.

"Hold on sweetheart." He walks to the closet and retrieved one of his white t-shirts. "Here let me put this on you."

I nod my head and sit up again with his help. He takes off my bra and pulls over my head the white t-shirt. Christian helps me up the bed so he can pull the covers and then slowly lays me down and covers me. "Try and get some sleep." he kisses my head and my eyes close hoping this awful feeling will go away.


	57. Chapter Fifty-Six:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX:**

The morning light wakes me up and I feel as someone has hit me with a hammer on my head. I place my feet down on the floor and shiver at the coldness.

However, I soon smile when I see Christian chest down sleeping beside me. He looks so comfortable. His hair is messy and his face is turned to the left which gives me a good view of his face. I want to run my fingers on his back, but I'm afraid I'll wake him. He deserves rest after the busy and exciting day he had yesterday.

I look at the clock and it is nine am. Simon will be arriving today with Rocky and I can't wait to be able to take out Rocky and explore the city. I have never been a big fan of dogs until Rocky came into my life. I also love the way Christian cares for him. The way he can be himself without worrying.

The pounding on my head keeps getting worst. I look around the bathroom for any aspirin but there isn't any. Knowing I won't survive today without it, I head to the closet and retrieved jeans a t-shirt and sweater. I have decided to go to the store and get some aspirin.

Grabbing my sneakers I put them on and quietly sneak out of the hotel room. I press the elevator button and patiently wait for the elevator to arrive. The Bulgari Hotel is located between buildings and stores. I know it will be easy to find a drugstore or at least I hope so.

I climb into the elevator and lean on the wall feeling nauseous. Why did I think drinking last night was a good idea? After the news of Christian buying Beckett Publishing and my decision to stay in London permanently made it seem like a good idea. However, my body is regretting it today.

The moment I walk out of the hotel I welcome the fresh morning breeze and begin my walk around this city. As I go to turn the corner my eyes catch a coffee shop. I stare at it for a while. It is colourful. Pink, yellow and light blue colours cover every inch and I love the name Rainbow Cafe.

The small shop is cozy with little brown tables and comfy couches to sit on. My eyes go wide when I see that there is a corner full of bookshelves and books to choose from. I jump with excitement when I see Gothika 2 and I grab it as quick as my feet will move. Before I know it I'm sitting on one of the comfy couches and I have ordered a big cappuccino. I open the book and lose myself in it.

My phone pings the moment I hit chapter two. I grab it out of my pocket and read the message.

Christian: Where did you go?

I decide not to answer him right away. I'm enjoying this alone time. After everything that has happened, this is rare for me. I need to take a moment to realize everything that has happened in my life. I try not to let the tears leave my eyes when I remember again that my mother is gone. I hate myself for being here instead with my father. Before I can let the depression take over me my phone rings again.

Christian: How did I know I would find you here?

I look up confused to find him just outside the cafe. He is looking at me through the window. He smiles and walks inside.

"Why did you leave without saying anything?" he asks sitting next to me.

"I didn't want to wake you up. You looked so cozy." I tell him kissing his cheek.

"How are you feeling?" he asks knowing very well that I have a hangover.

"Like someone ran over me. I wanted to get aspirin but I only made it this far."

"Did you have enough coffee?" he asks smirking at my big coffee cup.

"Yes, and it was delicious." I stick my tongue out for him.

"We should get back to the hotel. We need to pack," he tells me and I'm confused.

"What do you mean? We are leaving the hotel?" I lift my eyebrow.

"Yes, we can't live in a hotel. I have rented a house," he tells me like it's not a big deal.

"Oh, alright. Let me pay for this book and the coffee." I stand up and so does he.

"I got it." he kisses my lips and walks to the front to pay for it. I love how sweet he is with me.

When he is done he takes my hand and we make our way back to the hotel. But before we can walk inside he stops me.

"What's wrong Anastasia?" I love that he knows when something is wrong with me.

"I feel guilty for being here instead of being with my dad and the emptiness my mother left in my heart feels heavy today."

Christian wraps his arms around me and I place my head on his chest. "I don't know how to continue with my life when my mother was taken so soon," I add.

"It's normal to feel this way Heartly. You just need to take it a day at a time. Eventually, when you think of her it won't hurt anymore. It will always be sad because it is something awful, having to lose someone so important but with time it will be a little less painful."

"What would I ever do without you?" I hug him tighter knowing I have the best support.

"You will never have to find out." he kisses my forehead and we untangled.

"come on we need to get going. I can't wait to see Rocky." he smiles and for right now I try pushing back my pain.

~•~•~

My eyes go wide as we approached the entrance of the house Christian rented for us. It is a tiny house compared to the house in Chicago. Yet, it seems cozy. It is a light brown colour with a white door. It is attached to another house and a white fence surrounds the small garden.

"I hope this is alright until I can buy something here," he tells me.

I nod my head excited to make this our home, "This is perfect." I kiss him and he soon leads me up the steps.

We rush into our new home and look around. The living room is to the left and I'm loving the white and gray theme. There is a big L shaped couch with a glass table that holds beautiful red roses. I walk in more and see the kitchen it is spacious and I can't wait to cook breakfasts and dinners for Christian.

"I love it." I rush into Christian's arms and hug him.

"I'm happy you do."

"Now all we need is Rocky to complete this home," I tell him and he agrees.

"come I want to show you the best part of the house." he grabs my hand and drags me up the stairs. Until we are in the bathroom. I giggle like a little girl when I see the huge bathtub. He knows me so well.

"I'm going to break it in tonight." I smile knowing I need this. "While I read this." I pull out the book he bought me at the coffee shop.

"Gothika 2-" He smiles, "You're going to love it."

"Well the author did have an amazing editor." I kiss his lips, "Maybe we can talk about it once I'm done reading it."

"I would love to." He kisses me back and pulls me closer to him. "I think we need to break in more than the bathtub tonight."


	58. Chapter Fifty-Seven:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN:**

I gaze at Christian as he climbs into the bed. He looks very handsome with his pajama bottoms and I watch in awe as his eyes don't move from the laptop he is holding.

"Remind me tomorrow to leave my credit card for you." he tells me not moving his eyes from the screen.

I raise my eyebrow confused, "What do I need your credit card for?"

He doesn't answer me. I guess whatever he is reading has got his attention.

I stay quiet waiting for his answer patiently but when it doesn't come I get irritated. "Hello?"

He quickly looks at me and then back at the screen, "what?"

I roll my eyes I hate when he brings work to the bed, "Why do I need your credit card?"

Christian looks at me confused and then yet again I lose his attention when Rocky climbs into the bed. He begins to pet him, and I feel like I'm about to lose my cool.

"Christian, you can't tell me your going to give me your credit card and not tell me for what."

"sorry baby I'm distracted." he tells me like I don't know it already. "I got invited to a gala and I want you to be my date."

"I still don't know why I need your credit card."

"So, you can buy a dress for the night."

"Oh, what is the gala for?" I ask curious.

"It's to raise money for third-world countries... for school books." He tells me still too invested on his computer screen.

I scoop closer to him and gaze at what he is looking at, "A new manuscript?"

I thought now that he is the CEO he wouldn't be the one reading manuscript anymore.

"Yes, and it's really good." He tells me and now it makes sense why he was so occupied.

"I thought now that you're the CEO you wouldn't have time to do that."

"Well technically I'm no the CEO yet, until the end of the month." He tells me. "Also, now that we are talking about this I need to go back to Chicago the day after the gala to meet with the author."

"Oh?"

"I thought you could come with me and see your dad?"

I smile and hug him, I thought he had forgotten about me, "I would love that."

He kisses my lips and without pulling away he places the computer on the bedside table. Before I know what's going on he is pinning me underneath him and I know we are about to break in the bed.

~•~•~

I wake up to an empty bed with a note placed on Christian's side of the bed.

Good morning beautiful,

I had an early morning meeting and I didn't want to wake you up. I know you need your rest after the night we had;-)

I left my credit card on the kitchen table, Simon will be picking you up at noon to take you to the mall. I can't wait to see your sexy dress.

P.S have fun today you deserve it gorgeous.

I bring the note to my heart and exhaled loudly feeling so in love with this amazing man. I check my phone for the time and see that it is almost 11 am. I rush off the bed and to the shower overly excited to see this city more.

Getting undress, I turn the water and wait for it to heat up. My thoughts run through the previous night, how loving and caring Christian had been with me. I couldn't be happier at my decision to stay here and start a life here with him. I'm also glad that in a few days we will be going back to Chicago and ill be able to see my father. I need to tell him about my decision to stay in London and I'll like to say goodbye to him. I know I'll be able to visit him as much as I want or can, but I still feel bad. I should be with him right now, but how can I help him when I don't know how to help myself with my mothers loss.

I shake the thoughts out of my head and enter the shower. I stand under the hot water until my hands turn wrinkly from the water. Even though I don't want to get out I do so knowing Simon will be here soon.

Drying myself I walk into the walk-in closet and grab skinny black jeans, a white t-shirt and my black and white converse. When I'm dressed I head back into the bathroom and pull my hair back into a ponytail. When I feel pretty enough I walk out of the room and down the stairs just in time to hear the doorbell ring.

I smile and rush to the door, knowing it is Simon, "Hey," I wrap my arms around him before he can even say anything.

"Anastasia," he smiles at me, "I'm glad your feeling better today." He says as he pulls away from my hug. I know he is talking about my mother and how things have been rough for me.

"Thank you, Simon." I tell him not wanting to talk about that right now or I will cry.

"Alright so we should get going if we are going to find you a dress."

I nod my head and quickly grab my purse, the credit card and my keys. "So, do you know anything about this gala?"

"Yes, it's a fundraiser for schools in third-world countries that can't afford to provide reading books to their students and It happens to be a star light theme gala... so I'm thinking a white dress for you?"

"I think you're right, if it's under the stars then it has to be white." I giggle excited. I have always loved stargazing and I have great memories of me and Christian watching them together.

"Well then we better find the perfect dress." He winks at me and takes my hand. We both smile as we head to the car hoping for today to be a good day.

 **A/N: Hi amazing readers! I would like to thank all of you for your kind comments and love for this story. The next chapter will be the last in this story. I'm thinking of doing a book number 2 but we will see. I hope you all have enjoyed it.**


	59. Chapter Fifty-Eight:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT: Christian's P.O.V**

"My sweet Anastasia." I kiss her forehead and sit beside her. I stare at her for a while, until the need for a strong beverage takes over me. Kissing her forehead one more time I take the book she fell asleep reading and place it on the bed side table. I walk slowly to the door and close it behind me.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I now own Grey Publishing. It frightens me to know that I will have to be more open to the public now since I will be the face of the company as the CEO and I won't be able to hide behind manuscripts anymore.

As I walk to my car and get in I can't stop thinking about what Anastasia told me. That she wasn't attending Harvard University. I need to speak to her about what she meant. She can't give up on her dreams. She deserves to attend Harvard and have the life she always dreamed of.

Pulling away from the parking-lot I dial Simon's number and hit speaker. I need a drink, so I can figure this out. I know I can't let her stay. My heart breaks knowing what I have to do. Perhaps I can wait until the end of the summer? I know that wouldn't be fair to her.

"Mr. Grey?" Simon sounds surprised that I am calling at this time of the night.

"Are you busy?" I ask hoping he isn't. I don't have many friends and I could really use someone to speak to about this situation.

"No, of course not. What can I do for you?"

"Your staying at the four seasons hotel, right?" I ask hoping he will agree to what I'm about to ask him.

"Yes." He answers.

"Can you meet me downstairs at the bar?"

"Yes, of course."

"Great, I will be there soon." I gratefully say and hang up. I take a turn and make my way to the four seasons hotel.

* * *

Feeling overwhelmed I rush to the hotel bar the moment I arrive in the lobby and take a seat on one of the bar stools. "double scotch neat." I tell the bartender.

He nods his head and quickly pours my drink. I'm glad when he walks away leaving me alone to my drink. At least he doesn't stare at me weird because of my scars. Or perhaps he can't see them in this dim lighted room?

I can't deny Anastasia is good for me. She has made me feel more confident about my scars and because of her I don't mind being in public now. There was a time where I wouldn't leave my house too afraid of what people would say about my appearance.

"Hi is this seat taken?" a woman's voice catches me by surprise and I turn around to see who it is. She is tall with piercing blue eyes.

She pushes back her long blonde hair as I shake my head, "It's all yours." I mutter. She will stop flirting with me the moment she sees my scars. I roll my eyes knowing how this works. The only woman who has never ran away from me because of the scars is Anastasia. My sweet loving Anastasia.

"Thank you." She smiles and doesn't move her eyes off me. "What are you drinking? Let me buy you another for being so nice."

"Scotch," I say not wanting to be friendly, but wanting another drink.

She waves at the bartender, "A scotch for my friend and a cranberry vodka for me."

When the bartender leaves to get our drinks, she moves a little closer. "So, what's your name good looking?"

"Christian." I answer even though I know I should just get up and leave instead.

"I'm Mandy. What's got you so sad?" she asks, and I wonder if she hasn't notice my scars yet?

"Nothing." I mumble between sips of my drink.

"It doesn't seem to be nothing mate." she tells me with her thick English accent, "I have been told I'm a great listener."

"If you don't mind, I rather just sit here quietly and enjoy my drink." I tell her rudely.

She seems to get the point and grabs her drink but before she goes she looks at me, "I'll be right over there if you decide you do want to talk." she points at the table in the corner of the bar and I dismiss her completely.

When she has left me alone. I raise my hand to get the bartender's attention needing another strong drink.

"Another scotch sir?"

I nod my head and the bartender places my drink in front of me. I take a long gulp and I'm glad when I see Simon walk in. He takes a seat beside me.

"Is everything alright?" He looks worried. I feel bad for bringing him out of bed at this time.

"I just needed to talk." I run a hand through my hair feeling overwhelmed with the decision I was forced to face.

"Oh, you know I'm always here when you need to talk." He tells me, and I know he means it, he has been here beside me since I started working at my dad's company.

"Can I get you a drink?" I ask knowing that's the least I can do.

He nods his head, I call the bartender and order a scotch for me and a beer for Simon.

"So what's up?" He brings his chair a bit closer and I know I need to tell him what's in my mind.

"It's about Anastasia."

"Oh no did something happened with her?" he asks alarmed.

"No, nothing happened to her... She told me she will not be attending Harvard and wants to move here with me."

"How do you feel about that?" he asks as he reaches for his beer and takes a sip.

"I'm torn between letting her stay here with me and doing what is right."

"And the right thing is for her to go to school, right?" Simon asks like he doesn't know the answer to that.

"Of course, that's the right thing. She is so young and needs to learn and experience college."

"Can I be honest with you?" he asks.

I nod my head needing that right now.

"I think you already know what you have to do. Anastasia needs to go to school and you know that. "

I bring my drink up to my mouth and take a big sip. I know he is right, but my heart is breaking as I come to terms with this decision.

A/N: So I guess there is one more chapter after this one.


	60. Chapter Fifty-nine:

**CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE:**

"Good morning beautiful," Christian wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck softly, "Where are you going so early?" he adds as he continues to kiss me and hold me. He is wearing a dark blue pair of pajamas and is shirtless.

"I have a nail and hair appointment." I tell him as I drink my orange juice. I love when he holds me in his strong arms.

"Do we have time to have breakfast together?" he asks, and I shake my head.

"I can't Simon is giving me a ride to the salon." I say as I reach for my now toasted bread. I need to ask Christian about me getting my licence here, so I can get myself around and not inconvenience his assistant.

"I would like to sit down and speak to you." He tells me, and I begin to worry at his tone.

"is everything alright?" I turn around and finally face him.

Christian nods his head and runs a hand through his messy hair, "Yes, everything is alright. We can talk about it later." He tries to sound less worried about it. I want to ask what's going on, but a car honk stops me, and I know Simon is here.

"I have to go, but let's talk before the gala ok?"

"Yeah, sure." He tells me, and I hope everything is alright.

~•~•~

Christian comes into the room as I'm putting the last touches to my make-up. "You look so beautiful." He kisses my neck and I take a good look at my white mermaid style, lace dress. It has a sheer crew neckline and pretty white flowers are placed at the bottom. You can see my legs through the transparent part of the gown.

"I think you are missing something," he steps away from me and walks out of the walk-in closet. A few minutes later he comes back with a light blue square box and I brighten up as I see the label tiffany. Christian opens it and shows me the beautiful heart lock necklace.

"You shouldn't have," I tell him as I take it out of the box and open the locket. A picture of the two of us is placed inside and my heart melts.

"Turn it around."

I quickly do so and smile when I see the engraving:

For my favorite star, I love you.

"Put it on please," I urge him to do so and I smile like a teenager.

He lets out a soft laugh and does as I have asked. He moves my hair to the side and places the beautiful necklace on my neck. When he is done he turns me around and plants a soft kiss on my lips.

"Thank you for this amazing gift." I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him again. Until I am being forced to untangle from him as the doorbell is being rang.

"It's probably the driver." He kisses my cheek and pulls away.

I look at myself on the mirror one more time and touch my new necklace. I know we need to leave the house soon or we won't make it in time, so I grab my white high heel sandals and put them on. I stand up, grab my lip-gloss and place it in my purse. When I feel prepared I walk out of the room and down the stairs to a waiting Christian. He is looking mighty fine. He is wearing a black tuxedo with a cute black bow. I keep my eyes glue to him and all I can think about is what I'll l be doing to him once the gala is over.

"Are you ready?" he smirks at me and I know he knows what I'm thinking about.

"Yes," I whispered feeling hot for him. We better get going before I take him up the stairs and take advantage of him. "We better go before I change my mind." I wink at him as I walk by him and out the door.

He laughs and follows me. Christian opens the door of the black SUV and I gracefully not trying to show anything climb inside. Closing the door, he comes to the other side and climbs in.

"Christian, what did you want to talk about this morning?" I ask him as the driver pulls away.

"I think we should wait until after the gala to talk about it." he quickly tells me and it is driving me crazy not knowing what he wanted to tell me.

"You're worrying me."

He takes my hand and squeezes it gently, "Everything is fine. How about we forget about it for right now and enjoy the night?"

I want to fight him on this one, but I know he is right, "Okay, but as soon as we are back at the house we are talking about it."

Christian agrees and kisses my hand. I smile knowing how much I love this man.

~•~•~

The Peter Harrison Planetarium is a modern, versatile venue with contemporary lines, it is located at the heart of Greenwich Park in the striking late-Victorian Astronomy Centre. The futuristic building, is well lighted with stainless steel torches. There is a periwinkle blue light lighting the planetarium and multiple people are arriving into the royal observatory. I took a deep breath and looked at Christian.

"Ready?" he smiled at me.

I nod my head and smiled back. "After you sweetheart."

Christian stepped out and waited for me. He took my hand so I could gracefully get out. I was glad when he didn't let go of my hand. There was a small red carpet placed and I could see photographers taking pictures of the new arrivals. My heart began to beat fast knowing how Christian felt about pictures. He hated them. The memory of my prom came into my head and how Christian had fear being pictured.

"Is there another way into the Royal observatory?" I asked assuming he wouldn't want to go through the crowd.

"You don't want the picture?" he stopped us from walking and turn to face me.

"Of course I do, I just know you don't like them."

"Well I think the way you look deserves to be remembered. " he smiles at me and I love how far he has come since we first met. He is open to do more and not scared of what people might think.

Without thinking about it I go on my tiptoes and plant a kiss on his lips. He's the sweetest man. "I love you Christian." I tell him as I pull away.

"I love you too beautiful, let's go inside before I change my mind and drag you home." he smirks at me and I feel my cheeks turn red.

Christian takes my hand once more and before we know it we are in front of the photographers who I know now are magazines and newspapers which means a lot of people in London will be seeing them.

"Mr. Grey... Mr. Grey." the reporters scream to get Christians attention. "whose the pretty lady in your arms?"

I anxiously wait to hear his answer even though I already know what he will say.

"This beauty is Miss Steele my girlfriend." he answered them happily.

We stand smiling for a few minutes and when they had taken their pictures we walk inside the observatory.

The moment we get into the party room we realize that it is a northern lights theme. With purple, lavender, periwinkle and sapphire blue colors with tables named after galaxies.

Christian walks to the table where the place cards are sitting and grabs ours. We are in the

Milky way. Christian leads me to our table and when we arrive he pulls the chair out for me to sit down first.

"would you like a drink?" he asks me.

"I would love a glass of champagne." I smile hoping he won't remind me of the last time I got drunk.

He kisses my cheek, "I'll be right back."

Christian walks away and I continue to stare at this place. There is a medium size dance floor in the middle which is surrounded by the tables. A music band is playing soft music in the background and the room is beginning to fill. The organization's logo is being projected on the wall behind the band. Books for a better world is a nonprofit organization that helps with books in third world countries that can't afford teaching books for the children.

Christian has told me that Grey's Publishing has donated a lot this year and therefore he will be giving a speech tonight.

I feel so proud of him and the company his family has created. I can't wait to see him bloom to the CEO I know he can be.

"Here you go sweetheart." he hands me my drink and I'm glad he is back.

"This place is amazing." I tell him in awe of this amazing place.

"You haven't even seen the best place." He stands up and places his hand out for me to take, "Let me show you around."

I take his hand and go to put my drink down but he stops me, "bring it."

I nod my head and follow him. He looks so relaxed and happy. I love seeing him this way. He had been acting strange this morning and I knew something had been bothering him. However, right now in this exact moment all I could feel was happiness. I knew I had made the right choice by deciding to skip Harvard and stay here with him.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked giggling as Christian hands me his drink and places his hands on my eyes.

"I'll guide you in and help you sit. I need you to promise me you won't open your eyes until I tell you too, can you promise me?"

"yes I promise." I tell him needing to know what he is up to. We walk a bit more and he helps me into a seat. "Can I open them now?"

"Not yet." he tells me as he takes a seat next to me. His lips move to my ear, "remember the first time I brought you to my cottage?"

"Yes, you were a bit of a jerk."

"Well yeah, but do you remember the first time we truly bounded?"

"I do remember. It was under the stars." I answer him feeling my heart beat fast.

"Open your eyes beautiful."

I slowly open my eyes and I smile. We are sitting in the planetarium and the room is full of stars. I stare at it with such love for Christian. He knows how much I love watching stars. The room is empty and only me and him are here.

"did you do this for me?"

He nods his head, "do you like it?"

"I love it... I love you." I kiss him needing to show him how grateful I am of having him in my life.

"I wish we had more time to stay here, but I need to be back for my speech."

I continue to gaze at the stars and for a moment I let myself think of my mother. I have been trying to keep it out of my mind tonight not wanting it to affect my mood, but I miss her so much. I know she is one more star in the galaxy. I turn around and kiss Christian one more time and I know our love can only grow from here.

~•~•~

"What are you thinking about?" I whisper into Christian's ear as we are dancing to Ed sheeran's thinking out loud.

"What do you mean?" He asks me as if he doesn't know that I know him enough to know when something is bothering him. He has been acting strange after his speech.

"I know you Christian, I know that something is bothering you."

"I rather not talk about that here." he spins me around and I come back into his arms.

"Stop pushing it to another time and just tell me." I'm getting angry now.

"I don't know Ana."

"You don't know?" what kind of answer is that.

"I think that everyone deserves an education and to follow their dreams. Harvard has been your dream since you were young." he tells me and my heart drops knowing where he is going with this, " I think you should go to Harvard and follow your dreams."

"Christian no." we have stopped dancing now and people are staring. Christian grabs my hand and drags us outside.

"Listen to me Ana, I love you. I have loved you since I first saw you, but it would be selfish for me to tell you to stay here. You deserve to do the things that you dreamed of."

I feel numb, "What are you trying to tell me?"

Christian takes a deep breath before he answers me, "I think once we go back to Chicago tomorrow you should stay and move to Cambridge."

Tears are falling out of my eyes and my heart is breaking into million pieces, "What does this mean for our relationship?"

"I think you need to focus on school and I need to stay here and deal with my company."

"Are you breaking up with me?" I feel everything spinning and I can't breath.

"This is the best for the both of us." he tells me but his eyes don't look at me.

"I need you to say it." I yell needing him to man up and say it to my face.

"Anastasia, I think it's best we go our own way for now-"

Before I know what I'm doing I'm running and I'm glad when I see a taxi across. Christian chases after me, but I don't stop. I rush inside the taxi and tell him the address to the house that was supposed to be mine and Christian's home.

When the taxi driver begins to drive, I look out the window and see a broken Christian in the middle of the road. I let the tears fall down with anger at what he has done to us.


	61. Chapter Sixty:

**CHAPTER SIXTY:**

Christian Grey's picture stared at me while I packed my belongings. I couldn't believe he had broken up with me. We were supposed to be enjoying our new home, but instead, I was here alone packing to go back to Chicago. Christian had avoided the house after the party and I was somewhat thankful. I couldn't bare to let him see me this heartbroken. Yet, if we spoke we might be able to fix this. Would he even want to fix this relationship?

I stood looking at the picture of the two of us as my mind tried to figure out when he had changed his mind about being with me? a nudge on my leg grabbed my attention. Rockie gaze at me with a shaking tail. He loved getting pet and I loved petting him. I went on my knees and kiss his sweet face. I would miss him terribly, I would miss going for walks with him and having an animal in my life. I hugged him and he wiggles in my arms. He was hipper, sometimes too much. I'd grown to love him as my own.

He pulled away from me when he heard noise coming from downstairs. My heart beat raised knowing there was only one person who could be downstairs. I couldn't face him right now, I wouldn't be able to contain myself. I fear that I would embarrass myself by begging him to change his mind. Anxious, I stayed quiet hoping he wouldn't come upstairs.

"Hello? Ana?" the voice wasn't Christian's and my heart sank. I'd hope he had changed his mind and would want to at least come and speak to me.

I walked out of the room and down the stairs to find Simon downstairs looking rather uncomfortable. He had been given the job of dealing with the ex-girlfriend.

He ran a hand through his hair and weakly smiled at me. I hated that he had to be here in these circumstances. "Simon, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to get Christian clothes and make sure you have everything you need." he told me, "Christian also wanted me to give you this."

He pushed a folder across the counter and I took it. I opened it and a white envelope came out with a plane ticket. I grab the envelope and begin to rip it apart but stop. Perhaps I should read it. I put it back into the envelope and decide I'm not ready to read what he has to say. He'd given up on us and just because he wrote a letter didn't make it better.

I grab the plane ticket and the envelope and look at Simon, "Thanks for bringing this for me."

He nodded his head embarrassed, "I'm sorry this is happening, Ana."

"I rather not talk about it. I better finish packing or I won't make my flight."

"Do you need any help?" he asked and I knew he really did feel bad about the situation.

"No, I will manage thanks."

He once again ran a hand through his hair and I knew he was uncomfortable, "do you mind if I go upstairs and grab Christian some stuff?"

I shook my head, "Go ahead,"

He walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. When he was gone, I grabbed the wall so I wouldn't collapse. It was really over, he had made it clear by sending his assistance instead of coming to talk to me. When I felt a bit better I pulled away and quickly grabbed a piece of paper from Christian's office and a pen. I needed to tell him how much he'd hurt me.

 **Dear Christian,**

 **You broke my heart into a million pieces. You made the decision to break us and the love we have for each other, so I truly hope you never regret your decision. Take good care of Rockie, I will miss his messy kisses.**

 **Take care of yourself.**

 **Ana Steele.**

I fold it in half and take a deep breath. When I hear Simon coming down the stairs I head out of Christian's office. "Would you mind giving this to Christian?" I held the paper out for him and he took it.

"I'll make sure he gets it."

"Thank you, Simon." I hugged him thankful for everything he had done for me, "Take care of yourself."

"You too Ana, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you here."

"Me too," I said feeling the tears appear. "I'll leave the key on the kitchen table when I leave. I'll be out of here in an hour so Christian can come back... after all, it is his home."

"I'll let him know that Ana."

I nodded my head and hugged him once more. He picked up the duffle bag he had placed on the floor and walked out of the house. I closed the door behind him feeling like nothing would ever be the same again.

A/N: ThIS BOOK IS BACK:) please comment.


	62. Chapter Sixty-One:

**CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE:** **  
**Two Months Later

Luca Grey stood in front of the podium in my Studio Art class. He looked different from the last time I saw him. He was bulkier and his hair looked a few inches longer. He was wearing a dressy dark blue shirt and black pants. He was as handsome as his brother.

My heart began to beat fast and I prayed that he wouldn't notice me. It had been two months since his brother Christian Grey had shattered my heart into a million pieces. I was glad that I had chosen a seat at the back of the class today instead of my usual seat in front of the class.

I listened to every word he said. He was talking about the importance of literature in third world countries. I knew that his family was big on the cause. My mind fought not to rekindle the feelings I once felt for his brother. But who am I kidding? Christian had taken my heart.

"As all of you know my brother Christian Grey owns the biggest book Publishing company in London, we have many branches in American-" he took a moment to change the slide he had been showing through his speech. "But we recently opened one in Massachusetts and we decided that we wanted to help the students of our community. Therefore we have started a scholarship program for art students to help with the cost of school. The program requires the participants to produce a book cover for one of our most anticipated books. The winner will win ten thousand dollars. "

I listen carefully knowing that money could help me out for next semester. However, I knew that being around anything that had to do with Christian was a bad idea. He had made it clear he didn't want me around. He had stayed away and even though I didn't understand his decision I had respected it. I had continued with my life the best way I could.

"Thank you for listening if you are interested in entering please see me after class for more details," he told the class and people began to walk out of the class. I grabbed my things and placed them inside my bag. I needed to walk out without being seen so I sneaked around other students in the hopes I was lucky enough.

"Miss Steele," Mr. Brown my professor called after me. "Please stay for a minute."

But I wasn't lucky. Darn it. I wanted to keep walking but I knew I couldn't. I faked a smile and turned around.

"Luca this is the student I was talking to you about," he tells him and Luca looks at me. He smiles and comes near me pulling me in for a hug.

Mr. Brown looks at us confused, "do you two know each other?"

"Yes, we actually do," Luca answered him.

"Oh. Well then you know she's an amazing student. You need to see her portfolio. I think she could be a good match for your contest."

"Ana, yes you should enter it." Luca encouraged me. He walked to the table and retrieved one of the sheets with the rules. "I would love to have you onboard."

"I'm not sure this is for me," I said knowing that I needed to stay away from anything that had to do with Grey's Publishing.

"Well think about it." Luca touched my arm and squeezed it, "It was nice seeing you either way." he sympathetically said. I knew he knew how things had ended with Christian.

"Thank you, Luca, I will think about it," I said knowing there was no way I was doing that.

* * *

Out in the afternoon air of Cambridge, I take a deep breath. It doesn't begin to fill the void in my chest, a void that has been present since the last time I saw Christian. It'd been two months post-Christian; a painful hollow reminder of my loss took over me. He'd broken my heart into a million pieces. After many nights of crying on my bed for the loss of my mother and the relationship that I thought could survive anything, I had grown a wall in my heart that kept me from growing close to anyone. Christian was and would forever be the love of my life.

My eyes closed and I let the memories of the good times together flashback:

 _Christian comes behind me, I'm making Nutella pancakes which are his favorite. He's shirtless. He slowly turns me around and when we are face to face, he brings his lips down to mine._

 _"I need you now." he is not asking, he is telling me. He grabs my waist and lifts me on the counter._

 _"Christian the pancakes will burn."_

 _He bites my lip and pulls away for a moment. He turns the stove off and without warning, he claims his place once more. His lips make their way to my neck and soon his hands are moving away from me, leaving a trace of the feeling of his touch behind. He grabs the bottle of Nutella and takes the lid off._

 _His finger dip into the jar of Nutella and he brings it to my mouth..._

I'm brought out of my daydreaming when someone taps on my shoulder. I quickly turn around and see my roommate staring at me.

"Are you going to come in or what?" Nicky stood with one arm on her waist. She had become my only friend here. "I'm ordering pizza do you want anything?" she brushed her blond hair away from her face and her light brown eyes stared waiting for my answer.

"Yes, pepperoni please," I smiled at her and she sticks her tongue out. "Wait, can you also get lava cake?"

"Sure Ana," she told me smiling and walked into the Student housing building.

I stood outside for another minute and looked up at the sky. The stars were barely noticeable here and I was somewhat glad. Stargazing was something Christian loved to do with me and now that he wasn't a part of my life I tried avoiding them. I touched my necklace and opened the little heart which still held the picture Christian had placed him in it. Why couldn't I get him out of my heart? It had been days since I had thought about him, but seeing Luca today brought back memories that couldn't be avoided any longer.

I reached into my backpack and pulled out the paper that Luca had given me. I unfolded it and read it again. I knew the money would help me a lot and the genre was a thriller mystery. I knew I could do this, but I needed to know first that Christian didn't have anything to do with it. If he wasn't apart of it then I could participate without worrying. I folded the paper again and placed it back into my backpack. I needed to think about it, after all the cover and application were not due for another month. Taking a deep breath I walked into the building with the need to forget about this for now and enjoy some pizza.

A/N: Please comment and let me know what you think😊


	63. Chapter Sixty-Two:

**CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO:**

"Ana!" Nicky called after me as I entered the dorm. She was sitting on the floor crossed legged. "Nice of you to finally join me." She smiled and reached for the pizza box.

I dumped my bag on the floor near the entrance and sat down beside her, "Sorry I got side-tracked."

"Well, now that you are here we need to talk about Friday." I reached for a slice of pizza before I could tackle the task of turning Nicky down for whatever shenanigans she will be trying to get me to do.

"What's going on Friday?"She looked shocked at my question.

"Duh, the biggest frat party ever!"

"Oh, and I assume you are planning on going?"

"More like we are both going, Miss." She told me as she stood up and headed to the mini-fridge. She retrieved a bottle of red franks sauce.

"I'm not going to a frat party." I straight up told her, I'd made a promise to myself that I would focus only in school and nothing else.

"Come on Ana, it's the Kappa Alpha Theta and you know I'm super into Alex. I need you to be my wing woman."

I rolled my eyes, "Sorry, I'll have to pass this time. I have a lot of studying to do." Nicky sat back down beside me and I knew she was about to guilt me into going.

"Remember last week when I went to that awful gallery opening with you?"

Of course, I knew that would bite me in the ass, she had come with me to a classmates gallery opening and I'd promised her a favor in return, "You can't claim that now."

"Watch me!" she said, "I need you there with me... I'm wearing a red dress so wear anything but that color."

"Fine, but I owe you nothing now." I pointed at her and took another bite of my pizza. Nicky was good at getting me to do things out of my comfort zone and I wasn't sure if I liked it or hated it.

"Consider the favor claimed." she smiled knowing she had gotten away with it. I rolled my eyes at her once more and took the bottle of hot sauce from her. I made a mental note to never ask her for a favor again.

* * *

My phone pinged the moment I laid down on my bed. I was far too tired to even look at it. I pushed my phone to the side and pulled the blankets up to my face. However, the damn phone pinged again. Even though I was annoyed I was far too curious to let it go. I quickly reached for it and my heart began to beat fast. Of course, I'd forgotten to remove the alert I'd set for Christian's name on Google.

He was starting to become well known as people thought he was mysterious, and they were dying to know the story behind his scars. I felt somewhat lucky to be one of the few people who knew his story— After all, he had loved me enough to share it with me. I fought myself not to open it, I couldn't allow him back into my thoughts. It'd hurt too much. I needed to remember he was not mine anymore. It only hurt to think about what we could have had together.

He broke my heart when he gave up on us and now all I had was school. Harvard had been my dream for the longest time, but now it felt insignificant. My dreams had changed the moment I'd fallen in love with Christian. I tossed the phone to the side of the bed yet again. Who am I kidding? I'm too weak and I'm going to read it. I grab my phone back from where it landed and read the first article as quickly as my eyes can take it all in:

 _Self-made hottie Christian Grey caught with blond beauty... Unknown blond beauty looks content in the arms of Christian Grey as they walked into the Ledbury restaurant in downtown London._

I closed the website immediately feeling the tears building. Of course, he had moved on. It was stupid of me to believe he would still be thinking about me. It had been two months since the night he broke up with me, and not a day passed that I didn't resent him for it. Perhaps, I should do the same and get him out of my mind, but it's far too difficult to forget your first love and he had been my first and only love ever.

I had become a shell of a person. All I could see in the mirror was a sad lonely version of who I was before. My mother had died and Christian had left me, that had destroyed me completely. There was no way I would ever again be the happy person I once was, but I could either lay down and let the sadness take me down or I could get up and try to live my best life. I decided the second choice sounded better.

I turned off the lamp placed on my nightstand and closed my eyes. I needed sleep to take away my pain.

* * *

My mornings always started the same way. Coffee. Shower. More coffee. I was used to my little routine which brought great comfort to me. I needed the routine to keep me going. It made me as happy as I could be to know what my day would bring and how my night would end.

Fridays meant figure drawing class which was my favorite class, it brought a calmness that I craved. Something about staring at a semi-naked man that made my mind clear. I needed clearness. Often enough I attempted to file my emotions in two different file folders. One of the emotions that made me depressed and the other the ones that made me think of a future where I'm not depressed.

The second file was small... too small. I grabbed my backpack from where it had ended the night before and looked around the dorm. Nicky and I had divided the room equally. She had the left side of the room and I'd been designated the right.

She had placed a poster of Bradley Cooper above her bed and I didn't mind it, he was hot as they came. Her bed was full of pink soft colors, and mine was the color my soul reflected; which was black and grey.

The only belonging of mine that show a hint of color was my lioness painting with magenta, violet, and navy blue colors. I'd painted it one night after arriving back to Chicago. Christian had the lion in his house and now I'd have the lioness in my dorm. It represented the lioness within me. The one I was desperate to regain. I knew she was somewhere in me, but it would take time to reclaim it.

I walked out of the dorm and locked the door behind me. I was not mentally prepared for today. I was not looking forward to attending the frat party and I begged my mind to come up with a great excuse to get out of it. Perhaps I could say I got the flu? I doubted Nicky would believe me.

I dragged my feet irritated and hurried across campus to my class or I would be late. I walked across the busy campus irritated for leaving so late. Fuck. The word left my mouth as I tapped my pockets in search of my phone and panic when I couldn't feel it. I removed my backpack, I needed to find it. Yet, I also needed to continue to walk not being able to stop as I was already late.

I dogged my hand to the bottom of my backpack and smiled when I felt the phone. However, before I knew what was happening I'd landed on the ground. My ass hit the ground hard and all I could feel was the pain. What the hell did just happen?

"Miss Steele?" I looked up and saw my figure drawing teacher Mr. Roger, he was standing above me with one hand out as a gesture of help. He looked embarrassed and so did I.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you." His thick British accent came out more as he apologized.

"No, it's my fault," I told him, and politely smiled at him. He made me nervous he was one of the youngest professors at Harvard and he was very attractive. His hair was black as the night with a soft finish and it made his green eyes pop out more.

"I think we are both to blame," he responded with a soft laugh, "You better hurry if you want to make it to class in time, I heard the professor is awful." he winked at me as he picked up the book that I had dropped and handed it to me. I took it shyly as he continued to look at me.

"Thank you," I said feeling awkward at the way he was looking at me and began to walk away not once looking back, still I could feel his eyes on me as I got farther away.


	64. Chapter Sixty-Three:

**Chapter sixty-three:**

My tiredness was overwhelmingly noticeable when I gazed at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a black tight split panelled plunge dress, which was one of Nickys. The dress was a bit small for my curvy body. Nicky was slimmer and shorter than me. I wanted to scream and refuse to go out, however, she had won the fight of which dress I was wearing to the party. The party I never wanted to go to.

My hair was neatly pulled back into a chic ponytail and I couldn't deny I looked good. It had been a while since I last felt beautiful. My mind tried to go back to the memories of Christian, like the way he helped my self-esteem with his sweet compliments and love. I stopped myself before I made myself cry. I needed to occupy my mind with something else that didn't involve the memories we once shared together.

My heart hurt too much at the thought of him so I quickly moved to my laptop and began to work on my design for the contest. I had decided to enter it, as I needed to pay for the rest of my tuition. The cover was for a memoir book and I was having a hard time coming up with something good. The guidelines stated that A Lions Shadow was a mysterious story that showed the growth of the author through each chapter. I re-read the summary in hopes it would help me.

A Lion's Shadow is a non-fiction autobiographical book full of memories of the terrible accident that left the author damaged for life. The author will take you on a rollercoaster ride with its ups and downs of the moments that shadowed his life and made him the man he is now.

The summary was very intriguing and it left me wanting to know who the writer was, but the contest sheet didn't have it included. It felt as if they were trying to keep it a secret from the people doing the contest. I looked at my screen feeling irritated at my design so far. I wanted something that would help me win the contest, but I had nothing within me. I got off the chair angry. If I didn't come up with something good I would have to give up on finishing school. My heart hurt at that thought. It would mean that losing Christian was for nothing. It couldn't be for nothing.

I paced back and forth until my eyes caught the lioness drawing. Then I remember the one I had drawn for Christian. I smiled feeling like it would be perfect for the book, but there was a problem with that idea. Christian had the drawing and there was no way I could ask him for it back. I tried to remember what it looked, but I knew I needed to look at it again. I crossed my arms as I thought about my options until I remember the pictures I took of him with the painting. I once again smiled like a fool and ran to my laptop. I opened my image folder as Nicky was entering the room.

"Please tell me you are not doing homework right now?"

I tried to ignore her, but she came to my desk and closed my laptop. "I'm working on the design for the contest I told you about."

Nicky walked to the mirror and fixed her red lipstick, "Well we better get going now if we are going to make it to the party."

I wanted to tell her that I wasn't going, but I knew I wouldn't be winning the fight, "Alright, let's get this over with." I grabbed my purse and shoes.

"You will have fun, trust me." she smiled and I followed her out of the dorm.

As we walked out of the building I couldn't stop looking at the sky. The stars were shining the brightest I'd seen them. They looked almost as beautiful as they did the night Christian took me out to the field and we laid under the stars. I pushed down the tears as we walked across the campus. Would I ever be happy again? I wanted to believe I would, but it didn't seem possible without Christian.

"Can you stop?" Nicky broke me out of my gaze.

"What?"

"Can you stop being depressed? I know you miss him, but you are missing out on the whole college experience." Nicky told me and I knew she had been holding it back for months.

"I know you are right, but it is so hard." I truthfully told her. "He was the one for me."

"Well, then why don't you reach out to him? Maybe you can still fix things?" she told me like it was such an easy thing to do.

"I think he might be seeing someone else," I whisper remembering the article I read on the trashy online blog about him coming out of the restaurant with a pretty woman.

"You think?" She touched my arm and brought us to a stop, "than you for sure need to move on. Perhaps you can work on that tonight." She smiled like the idea of me hooking up with someone made her feel better.

I rolled my eyes annoyed. "Alright enough of this talk. I need a drink as soon as possible."

"Well, then it's a good thing we are here." She giggled.

The loud music coming out of the house was not an inviting one for me. However, I didn't fight it. Instead, I followed Nicky inside the frat house hoping that it would help me keep my mind off of Christian.

* * *

I couldn't remember how many drinks I had drank until I stood up. The room was spinning uncontrollably and if it wasn't for the guy standing next to me I would have had ended on the floor. I smiled gratefully as I let go of his t-shirt, he was as drunk as I was and smiled back at me. I let go of him when I feel confident enough on my own feet and I made my way to the bathroom.

I was thankful when it wasn't occupied and quickly locked it behind me. I splashed cold water on my face before I went down on the floor and sat with my back to the wall. The bathroom was small and had a faint smell of pee. I pulled out my phone to text Nicky so we could get out of here, but as I looked at the contacts my eyes caught Christian's number. I touched the screen wanting to press it and call him, but I knew it wasn't a good idea. I closed my phone but quickly opened it again.

I dialed his number.

I waited as it rang and rang and I knew there was a low chance this was still his number. For all I knew, he had changed his number. I had given up to hear his voice one last time when his answering machine picked up. But as soon as I ended the call my phone was ringing and Christian's name was blinking on the screen.

I answered it. His raspy voice took over the phone line and it took my breath away. My heartbeat picked up and I felt butterflies in my stomach.

"Hello, Anastasia are you alright?"

My mouth wanted to say so much, but it couldn't move. Before I knew what was happening, I was hanging up the phone. I knew I shouldn't have done that. I hoped he wouldn't call back again and stood off the floor. The voice of my past had sober me enough to get the hell out of here.


	65. Chapter Sixty-Four:

**Chapter sixty-four:**

I wobbled out of the frat house with a horrible headache. My feet were killing because of my insane choice of wearing heels. What had I done? I blamed all the fireball shots I had consumed to my poor life choices. I was totally hating my life right now. Damn it, Anastasia, why did you have to call Christian?

Everything was spinning and I pulled my purse closer to me when I felt people coming behind me. They got really close to me which made feel anxious... they were to close for comfort. I froze as they came behind me closer, and closer. Until the two men were soon walking ahead of me laughing. I relaxed immediately and laughed at my paranoia.

I walked and walked until I was just outside the dorms. My phone rang just before I walked inside the building and realize I had forgotten to tell Nicky I was leaving. She was probably calling to make sure I was alright.

I answered the phone without even taking a moment to see the name of who was calling on the screen. "Hello?"

"Anastasia?" The voice was a familiar one. One that had been in my mind for a while now. "Are you alright?"

I pulled the phone off my ear and looked at the screen. It was from Christian. What had I done? Then the memory of calling him came rushing back into my drunk head. I needed to play it cool so he wouldn't suspect I was having a hard time being without him or that I was drunk. After all, he had a new girlfriend now. I couldn't be the ex-girlfriend who couldn't move on.

"Hi, Christian, yes I'm alright. I accidentally butt dial you." I lied hoping he would believe me.

"Butt dial?" He sounded bewildered.

"Yes, my phone was in my back pocket. It accidentally called you. Sorry to have bothered you." I said and waited patiently to hear his voice a bit more. I didn't know if I would ever get another chance to hear it. I had missed it badly. He had the kind of voice that made any woman lose her mind. I knew this because he had made me feel that way. He had gotten me to fall deeply in love.

"Oh?"

"Yes, sorry again."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you are fine. How is school going?" He asked as if he really cared about me. He had moved on and I wasn't his problem anymore.

"It's going great. But I better hang up. Someone is waiting for me." I told him, hoping he would think I was talking about a man. In a way it made me feel good to think he would feel the way I was feeling. Jealous.

"Hart-"

I hung up before he could say anything else. My heart hurt. He was the only man I wanted and I couldn't have him. I would never be able to love anyone that wasn't him. Why can't you stop thinking about him, Anastasia?

I rushed up the stairs and to my dorm with the need to bury my face into my pillow. The mixture of hearing Christian's voice and the alcohol were making the room spin. I inserted the key to the door and without carrying to change I collapsed onto my bed hoping I could escape reality for a while.

* * *

I awoke to the sound of someone calling my name. "Anastasia... baby girl open your eyes."

I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't. The sharp pain in my head prevented me from doing so. "Come on, show me your beautiful eyes." The sweet smell of mint invaded my nostrils and it brought me back to Christian. He loved chewing minty gum. He always smelled amazing.

I finally had enough strength to open my eyes and I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or if the figure in front of me was Christian? his hair was slicked back and his green eyes were staring at me. I gazed at him and his scar was as mesmerizing as ever. Had he come here for me? Perhaps he had changed his mind?

"Christian?" I said his name quietly. Too scared he would disappear like a beautiful reindeer in the wild. "Is it really you?"

"Shh... let me help you." He took my hand and helped me sit up. His hands slid down to my legs and down to my feet. He took my heels off slowly and gently. Then he moved to the zipper of my dress. With one easy move, he pulled it over my head and left me only wearing my panties and bra. "Lay down sweetheart, you need to rest." I did as he asked and he pulled the covers over me. He kissed my forehead as my eyes felt heavy and were beginning to close. I fought it as much as I could until the dizziness took over me and I closed my eyes.

I wasn't sure how long it been but when I opened my eyes again, he was no longer in the room. I gazed around hoping he was still in the room, but instead of finding him, I found Nicky who was eyeing me weird. When had she arrived back from the party?

"What's wrong with you?"

"I... I think I'm losing my mind. I swear Christian was just here." I told her and she rolled her eyes.

"You need to quit with that. He is moving on and you should do the same."

"I swear he was here, he helped me take my dress off."

Nicky lifted an eyebrow, "The one you are still wearing?"

I looked down at my body and my heart broke. It had been a dream. Of course, he would've never came. He had a new girlfriend who was keeping him occupied.

"You are right, I need to move on." I told her as I pulled my blanket over my body and closed my eyes in hopes to fall asleep without tears tonight.


	66. Chapter Sixty-Five:

**CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE:**

I awoke to the worst headache I've ever had in my life. It felt as if I'd been hit with a baseball bat over and over again. What the hell did you get yourself into, Ana? I grunted loudly as I pulled the covers up to my face and screamed into them. I'd promise myself I wouldn't call him, but that had gone out the window last night.

He probably thinks your a mess now. My subconscious tells me off. I don't blame her, I hate myself for it too. I have become the needy ex-girlfriend, the one I promised myself I would never become.

"Look who is still alive," Nicky said flopping onto her bed. She was wearing her gym clothes and that made me feel worse. How was she able to function after last night?

"Ugh, I'm barely holding on," I admitted feeling sick to my stomach.

"What was your poison last night?" she asked as if it mattered now.

"Fireball," I murmured.

"delicious but deadly." She said like it explained why I was like this now. "next time, stick to vodka and coke."

"There won't be a next time!" I buried my face in my pillow.

"You really feel that awful?"

I nodded my head, "What time did you end up making it back?"

"Sometime after two a.m." she told me as she stood up and headed to the closet.

"How are you not hangover?" I asked the question I had been wondering since she walked in.

"It's all about staying hydrated love." she smiled and grabbed her towel and shower caddy.

"I wish I had known that sooner!" I shouted.

Nicky laughs, "Take two advils and drink lots of water. You will survive this hangover." she waved at me as she walked out of the door.

I buried my face in my pillow yet again and debated whether I could afford to stay in bed today. But that was not a luxury I could afford. I needed to work on the design for the contest as the submission was fast approaching. I needed the money for tuition.

A loud grunt left my mouth as I pushed myself off the bed, wrapped the blanket around me and made my way to my computer desk.

* * *

It was just after five p.m. when I stepped away from my laptop. My stomach rumbled with hunger and I knew there was nothing in the dorm room to eat. I contemplated starving but I knew fresh air would be good for my hangover.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and before I knew it, I was walking through the campus and to Starbucks.

When I walked inside the Starbucks I was glad it wasn't busy. I waited in line patiently debating what I wanted to drink until it was my turn to order. "Hi, I'll have a London fog and a banana muffin."

"Coming right up," the guy behind the counter smiled at me before he walked away to gather my order. I smiled back politely and looked down at my phone until I was pulled away from my phone.

"Ana, is it really you?" The sound of a man's voice coming from behind me startled me. It was a very familiar voice. I panicked, there was no way it could be him. Christian couldn't be here, after all, he lived in London. Yet, I jerked around and found my face almost touching his. For a long moment I looked up into the intensity of his grey eyes, or more accurately, he seemed to be pulling me into the depth of those eyes as he searched my face for some sort of explanation.

"Christian?" I muttered shocked to see him here. "What are you doing here?" I added.

"I'm here for a meeting," he told me, his eyes didn't look away from me.

"Oh," I tried not to sound disappointed, for a split second, I imagined that he could be here for me.

"Why did you really call me last night?"

"I already told you," I irritated said.

"Answer my question, Ana." He asked not carrying that we were in the middle of Starbucks.

"As I told you on the phone, it was a butt dial." I picked up my tea from the counter and waited for my muffin.

"I don't believe you. I think you wanted to hear my voice." He whispered into my ear and it sends shivers down my back.

"You wish." I hissed."I'm over you." I told him but the words hurt me as they left my mouth.

"I don't believe you." His voice was shaky as if it had truly hurt him.

"Well I mean it. Now move aside so I can leave." I told him but I didn't wait for him to move. I moved around him and rushed outside feeling the tears coming.

I speed-walked through the alley until Christian reached me and pulled me to a stop. "I don't believe you." He told me again.

I couldn't blame him, I wasn't believable.

Tears began to come out of my eyes without me being able to stop them. I dropped my tea on the ground. "Why does it even matter to you?"

Christian didn't answer me. "I need you to say it."

"Say what?" I shouted.

"That you don't mean that."

I shook my head, "Christian-" his lips crushed into mine before I was able to complete my sentence. He pushed us to the wall of the building and his hands caressed me with such love that I couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"Say you don't mean it." He pushed as he nibbles on my lips. "Ana."

"I don't mean it," I shout angrily. I moved away from his hold and stared at him, "but it doesn't matter. After all, you have a girlfriend now."

Christian looked confused at my words, but I didn't give him a chance to explain. I pushed him away and ran towards the student housing. He had no right to come here and kiss me after breaking my heart. He had given up on us and now he had lost the chance to a future with me.


End file.
